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piperts · May 1, 2011, 10:16 AM

After a year of being in a serious relationship spending every day together, my boyfriend decides he wants to be single for his last summer before going away to university. We are going to be away from each other for a year but he told me he can see us getting back together when I go to the same university a year later. We talked about how we were going to make it work and I feel like it would since he's only a hour away. Because we spend so much time together we argue sometimes but then always fix it. He told me right now he needs space but I just don't know what to do to get him back.

Wondergirl · May 1, 2011, 10:31 AM

He needs space for what?

DoulaLC · May 1, 2011, 10:37 AM

Give him his space. He is not ready to be in a serious relationship right now, and you shouldn't have to try and convince him otherwise.

Spend your summer doing things you enjoy. Spend time with your friends and family.

You may reconnect later on, you may not.

amicon · May 1, 2011, 11:17 AM

Needing space=breaking up,just using the coward's way,leaving the back door open just in case...

Give him all the space in the world-forever.

piperts · May 1, 2011, 02:33 PM

To be able to have fun with his friends that he won't be able to see again once he leaves for university

Fr_Chuck · May 1, 2011, 02:40 PM

So he is saying that friends he may never see again, is more important than you that he wanted to always be with,

Sorry it does not add up, he is saying he wants to be free to be and see other people and then at the end of the year if he has not found something better or found out he prefers to be single he may, decide you are better than nothing else he found and let you crawl back to him

Wondergirl · May 1, 2011, 02:52 PM

to be able to have fun with his friends that he wont be able to see again once he leaves for university
So he needs space from you to be able to do this by breaking up with you? There aren't enough hours in the day to be with his friends and you too?

piperts · May 1, 2011, 03:08 PM

I don't know , we pretty much spent every second of the day together and I know that's unhealthy but I felt comfortable doing it because I enjoyed being around him. I told him if we got back together that would change and we wouldn't spend all of our time together but he doesn't believe me..

DoulaLC · May 1, 2011, 03:35 PM

He's young and wants to spend time with his buddies and enjoy not having a commitment. Let him have his time and space. He may change his mind, he may not. Either one of you may meet someone new along the way and decide you like being able to spend time with different people.

Again, focus on spending time doing things you enjoy on your own and with friends. If you keep in contact, and see each other now and then over the summer, great, but try not to spend your time wishing things were different. It won't be easy at first, but as you get out there and do things to keep yourself busy and occupied, it will get easier.

mmresd · May 3, 2011, 08:03 AM

Seems like he wants to party, and therefore, wants no ties. There is no reason to have a girlfriend while you are trying to have fun with your friends because then your girlfriend is your "ball and chain". So, he has broken up with you, accept it, an start healing from it. Also, let him feel the decision he has made and stop contacting him at all. With time you will get over this and meet someone that is ready to settle down like you seem to be, this just isn't the right guy.

Good luck,
Javi

talaniman · May 3, 2011, 05:13 PM

If he is willing to risk losing you forever so he can have fun without you, then let him. Have fun without him, and don't look back.

When they rather break up than make adjustments, they really don't want you any more.