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Dani171986 · Feb 1, 2007, 02:37 AM

I have spent years waiting for people to ask me out. It finally happens about 3 months ago, and I actually like the guy so it goes somewhere. However, he recently broke up with me because apparently he misses the single life. I'm quite shy when it comes to being forward and introducing myself. I can't ever bring myself to ask out or chat up a guy. Im really fussy as well so it takes me ages to find anyone I'm interested in. Most of my friends are in relationships and therefore so not want to go out as much as they used to. I don't want to do the typical meet a guy in a club anyway, cause you usually don't like the look of the person next time you see them. Can't meet anyone at work as its 99.9% women. I go to the gym, but there's no potential there. I guess just to be more on the look out? I wasn't really bothered before and didn't take much interest in finding anyone. Now that I've experienced the affection and the attention and now that its gone I just want to replace it. I don't want to do the whole internet dating thing. I just meet someone casually and get to know them. I just don't have the patients to wait around anymore.

RubyPitbull · Feb 2, 2007, 12:11 PM

Sorry you don't want to do the Internet dating. I know a number of people who have met their husbands/wives through Match.com - Find Singles at the World's Largest Online Dating Personals Service. The positive thing about it is that it gives you a chance to "speak" with someone for a while through e-mail so you can get to know their true personality. You can really weed people out without having to worry about anyone knowing who you really are. Until you are 100% comfortable with them, you don't give out any info on where you live or your telephone number. It is something you should maybe about.

In any event, what do you like to do? The best way to meet decent men is through either taking a night class, volunteer work, joining a church/synagogue/house of worship, bookclubs.

Do you like to go to art galleries? Have you thought about taking a dance class like tango or salsa? Do you enjoy chamber music? Have you thought about learning how to be a "Do-It-Yourselfer", you know where you learn to build stuff or fix things around the home? Do you have a passion for anything?

I agree with you about the guy in the club thing. Not a good way to meet someone. Tell me what you like to do or would like to try,and let's see if I can come up with some ideas that would put you in a public environment that is safe and fun.

aduckart · Feb 2, 2007, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Dani171986

I just dont have the patients to wait around anymore.

If you don't have patience any more, then you need to branch out of your comfort zone. There are great people out there, who are shy just like yourself. If they don't make a move, it will cause more frustration in yourself because you can't make a move either.

Did you try church, community events like fairs/festivals or joining a rec department class? Even walking through the grocery store, going to the bank or dining at a restaurant you can spark interest in people.

I'm sure, being shy, it is difficult for yourself. But keep in mind that if you are looking for a change, many times you are going to be the one who needs to initiate it.

If anything, the same old phrase "if you stop looking, he could fall in your lap" just might happen. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

Good luck to you. :)