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    TIFF2411's Avatar
    TIFF2411 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 31, 2011, 07:38 PM
    How to deal with a self centered boyfriend.
    My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, He is a nice guy, I love him so much... but.. He is selfish and self centered.Eample: WHEN IT COMES TO HIM EATING OR GETTING HIMSELF SOMETHING HE NEEDS HE GETS IT RIGHT AWAY. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME,HE Doesn't GIVE TWO HOOTS IF I EAT OR NOT.. OR IF I HAVE WHAT I NEED. WILL THIS EVER CHANGE?
    love_1235's Avatar
    love_1235 Posts: 45, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jan 31, 2011, 07:41 PM
    I have the same problam with my boyfriend.
    He asks you to help him, you NEED to help right then!
    You ask to help, and its wait a minute.

    My best awnser to this is sit down and try and talk about it with him,
    Tell him that you feel like he cares more about himself then you, your relationship.

    It will never change if you don't say anything.
    Speak up, that's not right for him to get himself food before you.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 1, 2011, 11:44 AM

    How old are you guys?

    Communication is key.
    brigde's Avatar
    brigde Posts: 61, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Feb 4, 2011, 05:11 PM
    Why do you need him to get you something to eat, do you get him something to eat all the time , and are you not old anough to feed yourself, grow up,
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
    Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 4, 2011, 11:30 PM

    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to I wish again.
    I tried...

    The best thing you can do in a relationship is communicate. And do it a lot.
    When you know how your partner feels, instead of speculating, you can work on reality . Not fiction,
    It is more effective
    aliseaodo's Avatar
    aliseaodo Posts: 1,671, Reputation: 259
    Movie Expert
     
    #6

    Feb 9, 2011, 02:21 PM

    Lord knows I'm no expert in this field - but when my now husband would do the same thing - (not always with food, but in daily situations where he viewed his needs and wants more important and necessary than mine) I would point it out, not meanly, but like 'sweety, this is what I'm talking about, I needed help with(whatever) last night, and you said you could help me after your show was over - well I'm right in the middle of (whatever), but I can help you when I'm done... '

    I cannot tell you how many, many times I said that exact sentence - and it actually helped him see how much he expected me to do for him "now, now, now". We've been together for nearly 10yrs, and every now and then he does that to me, but I have turned the above sentence into a 'look', and if he really needs me to help him he'll wait, or help me finish what I'm doing to get to his request - or - if he doesn't want to wait... drumroll please... - he does it himself! ;)
    jessielou58's Avatar
    jessielou58 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Feb 15, 2012, 02:24 PM
    I have to agree "grow up" - you're complaining about that? If that's all you have to complain about then you're OK
    indya's Avatar
    indya Posts: 357, Reputation: 58
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Feb 15, 2012, 11:43 PM
    Two ways to deal with this.

    Talk to him about it, nicely, sweetly, not like you are accusing him. Tell him how you feel about his 'me first' attitude, and how detrimental it is to your relationship.

    Another thing you can and must do is, give your needs equal importance, it shouldn't be that you give him and his needs so much importance that your own need take a back seat.

    If you do not give your own wants and needs importance, he won't either. Be assertive.

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