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New Member
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Dec 11, 2010, 09:54 PM
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How do you know that person is the one?
... well I guess its like the title... haha how do you know?
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:01 PM
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There is no "the one."
It all depends on how the two of you (whoever he turns out to be + you) coordinate, compromise, and give of yourselves to each other.
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Junior Member
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:05 PM
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Just looking at him takes your breath away. You think about him all the time. You can't wait to hear from him again. Strong feelings.
His bad habits don't bother you at all. You love him exactly the way he is and don't ever want to change him.
You want to spend the rest of your life with him. Through up and down, happiness and sorrow.
I don't know about you, but to me, if all these symptoms appear, I'll know that it's the one :)
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Aleeravilu
Just looking at him takes your breath away. You think about him all the time. You can't wait to hear from him again. Strong feelings.
His bad habits don't bother you at all. You love him exactly the way he is and don't ever want to change him.
You want to spend the rest of your life with him. Through up and down, happiness and sorrow.
I don't know about you, but to me, if all these symptoms appear, I'll know that it's the one :)
That sounds like the beginning of a romance, when your eyes are wide shut along with your intellect.
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New Member
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:21 PM
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That sounds pretty accurate, thanks! =)
I guess a guy who makes you happy... seems to sum it up! =)
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Junior Member
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:37 PM
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@Wondergirl: Oy, did you not see I put the line"His bad Habits don't bother you at all"? By this I mean even when you know that when he does something awkward or has some weird hobbies, you still don't want to leave him.
I had several boyfriends before, at first in the "honey moon period", everything felt good, all the symptoms in the first line appear
Just looking at him takes your breath away. You think about him all the time. You can't wait to hear from him again. Strong feelings.
But slowly after sometimes I observed them, their hobbies, habits, they annoyed the hell out of me, so we broke up.
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Junior Member
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Dec 11, 2010, 10:42 PM
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Its like when you really get to know the person, and still love everything about them good and bad. Because no ones perfect
That's exactly what I mean. You'll never know if that person is "the one" in early stages!
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Pets Expert
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Dec 12, 2010, 12:05 AM
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LMAO! I'm going to guess that Aleeravilu and Alyssa are both very young.
I'm assuming you want to know how you know that you're in love and want to get married.
Well, if you are in love, you wouldn't have to ask, that's the first sign.
As for all the gushy stuff "not minding his bad habits, becoming breathless when you see him, thinking about him all the time". That's movie love, that's not real love at all.
Real love involves compromise, work, communication, acceptance. You'll never ever meet a perfect person that meets all the criteria that Aleeravilu stated. It's not possible. Real life isn't all sunshine and roses. Real relationships have issues, even when you love each other.
So how well you know he's the one? You'll be willing to work for the relationship, you'll be willing to take the good with the bad. When he starts to annoy you because he's not the perfect person you wanted, you'll stick around anyway. When he leaves the toilet seat up in the middle of the night and you fall in, you'll want to strangle him, but you won't, because you love him. When he tracks mud on your freshly washed floor, you'll hand him the mop, glare at him, but forgive him anyway, because you love him. When he stays out late with his friends and comes home drunk, stinky, and horny, you'll put him to bed, call your best friend to complain, make him suffer for a few days, but love him anyway.
True love requires work. Everything else is only lust, and that's why it doesn't last. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist any more than Miss Perfect. The sooner you realize that, the happier you'll be.
How do I know? I've been with my guy for 20 years, married for 15. There are days he drives me crazy, but I love him. Every day is a challenge, but he's worth it. That's real love.
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New Member
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Dec 12, 2010, 12:18 AM
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Comment on Altenweg's post
Nice, thanks.
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Expert
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Dec 12, 2010, 11:31 AM
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ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Altenweg again.
You will know the one because before you know it your old, and gray and still happy. You will look back on all you have been through together, and smile because you survived, and are still working on the future.
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Junior Member
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Dec 13, 2010, 05:10 AM
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Damn it =.. =.
What you said was exactly what I mean Altenweg.
Maybe I put in in a too romantic way so it doesn't suit you elder thinking. SO I'm going to state my thoughts again.
I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe in finding someone perfect who suits my expectation. And I don't believe in happy ever after because daily quarrels and even fights against each other always happen.
And by not minding, I mean you know his bad habits, sometimes want to kill him for it, but won't, and yes do want to change it, so will give him some advices, but don't go all berserk if he can't fix ix .
He sometimes might look all dirty and clumsy, and you might feel a bit gross to come too near him, but won't leave him because of it.
He might grow old (along with you), yet when you look at him, you still find that he's handsome.
He might get so angry over not doing good at work and might start complaining about everything or even break something in the house, but you will stay with him and help him get though it, not run away.
He might break down over the loss of important people in his life, but you still want to stay there and help him get back on his feet, not go find someone better.
You might be super busy at work, but will think of him occasionally and wonder if he's doing fine.
You might feel so alone and stressful because of all the stupid work your supervisor gives you or maybe the children crying and whining all days, but the thoughts of him probably experiencing the same routine will make you more worried about Him more (and about the children, the thoughts of him wanting to share your burden)
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