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Lostsoul123 · Oct 9, 2010, 09:34 PM

I have a protective order against my sons father and have had it since November of 2008. What would I need to do to get it dropped? He hasn't been trying to come around at all and has been obeying the order but before he was not. I want to see what will happen if I was to drop it whether he will come around and or if he will not even bother and what he will do if he was to even approach my son who he has yet to meet or myself. Mind you my son is 15 months old and his father has been out of the picture since I was 6 weeks pregnant due to an argument we got into that escalated into physical abuse that was out of anger while he was drunk. Someone please help me. Because I really would like to see if he has changed and if he is ready to own up to his responsibilities and do what he needs to do to help me raise osur son.

AK lawyer · Oct 9, 2010, 09:46 PM

You could file a motion to dissolve protective order, with the court which issued it. The clerk of court may have a form. What state?

How long is the order good for?

Lostsoul123 · Oct 9, 2010, 09:59 PM

Mass

AK lawyer · Oct 9, 2010, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by Lostsoul123

Mass

Try this.

Lostsoul123 · Oct 9, 2010, 10:29 PM

Ok so I will have to print and fill out that form and bring it to the court house? How long will it take after that is done for the order to be dropped?

AK lawyer · Oct 9, 2010, 10:46 PM

Sorry, I don't know. I would guess that it probably wouldn't take more than a few days. Your best bet would be to ask the clerk when you file it.

Make sure that they have your current address so that when it's ready you will receive a copy.

Lostsoul123 · Oct 9, 2010, 10:49 PM

Ok thank you very much I will try that and see how it goes! I really appreciate your help and your time!

cdad · Oct 10, 2010, 03:03 AM

You don't have to formally drop the order. How long is it good for because many orders are not for lifetime only for months to a few years. You shouldn't drop it just to see. If you do it will make it harder to get another one and you will be seen as abusing the courts. You can simply choose not to enforce it so long as you don't make a game of it.

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 06:56 AM

I'm not trying to make a game of it I just want to see if he will come around for our son that we have together since I am a single mom raising a little boy on ny own who def. needs his father in his life. My son is 15 months old and is always asking for "daddy" and is going to soon be asking me why he is the only little boy/girl in the family that doesn't have a daddy and just has a mommy. I want my son to at least grow up knowing who his father is rather then leaving him to wonder what happened. Im justtrying to do what's in the best interest of my child. But where physical abuse was involved I'm kind of iffy in the situation... But I feel that letting him meet our son and be in his life it will help him to be a better person. Things are tough right now and I kind of just want to give him the benefit of a doubt and at least see if he has changed in the last two years.

AK lawyer · Oct 10, 2010, 07:03 AM

I assume you will be communicating your intentions, as you have expressed them here, to him?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 10, 2010, 07:35 AM

And of course as the father, he could have went to court to ask for child visits. ( does not have to be around you) you would drop child off at safe location, he picks child up, happens 1000's of times a week all around the US.

The court most likely would have ordered supervised visits to start.

Also besides the protective order is there a child custody order from the court, is there a child visit order and has child support been ordered

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 09:00 AM

No I have not communicated with my sons father at all due to the restraining order but would like to at least see what happens and at least give him the chance to meet our son and see how my son acts towards him and or whether he is fi

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 09:02 AM

Fit to be in my sons life where I have been raising him on my own for the last 15 months and he has benn pretty good thus far but now he is starting to ask about daddy and I don't know how to respond to him other then saying daddy is not around but

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 09:04 AM

You have mommy and papa (my father) that are here and love you a lot and will always be here for you. Its just getting to the point where I think its time that we need to at least try and be on good terms for our son...

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 09:06 AM

No there is not a child custody order, child visit order and child support have not been ordered. I have been doing it on my own since day one with help from family. I know that we could do visitations but I am unsure as to whether I want him

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 09:07 AM

Alone with his father where he has yet to meet him and is not good with unfamiliar people. So it would just cause more complications with my son and his behavior.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 10, 2010, 09:16 AM

Please understand it is not up to you about if and when the father gets the visits. Even with a protective order with you, he could have at any time when to court for visits. That is up to the court.

So you need to get the legal custody issues solved ASAP.

Lostsoul123 · Oct 10, 2010, 11:10 AM

I really don't want to have to go to court for the legal custody issues I'd much rather come to a civil agreement with him. Plus his father is not listed on his birth certificate because he was absent at his time of birth due to the restraining order

AK lawyer · Oct 10, 2010, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Lostsoul123

... his father is not listed on his birth certificate because he was absent at his time of birth due to the restraining order

That doesn't really matter.

JudyKayTee · Oct 10, 2010, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by Lostsoul123

I really dont want to have to go to court for the legal custody issues i'd much rather come to a civil agreement with him. Plus his father is not listed on his birth certificate because he was absent at his time of birth due to the restraining order

This is a red flag to me. If you come to a "civil agreement" (whatever that is) and he takes the child and doesn't return the child there is absolutely NOTHING you can do. With an order you can get the legal system involved.