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    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 6, 2010, 10:08 AM
    He says he likes me, but doesn't want a relationship.. help?
    Okay, so I've been talking to this guy for quite some time now and he is always telling me that I'm beautiful and gorgeous, and that I'm perfect and he said I have a beautiful smile and all that other crap, and he hugs me everyday.. and I like him sooo much, but one day we were talking and he told me he really likes me alooot (his words--exactly) but he doesn't want a relationship.. so I like started asking him questions like, why he lead me on and stuff and he said its because he really likes me, and I was like yeah OK sure and just left it alone.. then like a week later he brought it up again he asked "why do you think i don't want a relationship?" and I said because he told me he didn't and he said yeah but why do you think I don't want a relationship? And I said I don't know, so he told me its because I'm too emotional?? Like the only time I ever got emotional with him was when he said he didn't want a relationship.. so is he just trying to say that he just doesn't like me, or what? Please let me know what you think, thank you!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Oct 6, 2010, 10:50 AM

    Don't get caught up in his double talk, as when people are trying to keep you confused its because they are dishonest on some level, and they have a hidden agenda.

    Whatever it is, it works for him, but I doubt you would be happy with it. He doesn't care how you feel about whatever game he is running as long as he gets what he wants from it, or from you. Trust me he has bad intentions, or he would just come out and tell you what's on his mind.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #3

    Oct 6, 2010, 12:13 PM

    He won't even give you a straight answer, how can you think he will be straight with you on other subjects if you have a relationship with him. Your instincts are already telling you he is full of no good otherwise it wouldn't bother you. Move on, find some guy that can look you in the eye and give you a honest-straight up answer!
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 7, 2010, 09:00 AM

    Okay, well I mean I don't really know if I can just forget about him because I really am trying but its so hard when he keeps saying all the sweet things and stuff that he says to me, so :( I just don't know, but thank you for your advice!
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #5

    Oct 7, 2010, 09:06 AM

    b_lovey Take from a guy who has done this before. I would be able to get a girl so confused she didn't know if I loved her or hated her. And I would usually do it to keep that girl on the side so I would have someone to fall back on like a safety net. You need to stop talking to him so you can forget about him. But if you keep talking to him it will never get better and he will just drive you crazy.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Oct 7, 2010, 11:39 AM

    He doesn't talk to any other girls though; he said that he wouldn't ever date any other girl at my school but me, he's just "not ready" yet. But his excuses keep changing so I don't know
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #7

    Oct 7, 2010, 11:43 AM

    See that was the best thing when I was like him most girls will believe anything you say cause they want it to be true. Just cause he isn't talking to someone at your school doesn't mean he isn't saying the same thing to a girl at a different school. When I was in High School I had a girl at every school in the area and they all thought I only talked to them.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 7, 2010, 12:08 PM

    Ughhh :P okay, well thank you!
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #9

    Oct 7, 2010, 12:19 PM

    I know it stinks but don't waste your time with him.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 8, 2010, 08:56 AM
    He's sorry..
    This guy and I were talking and he liked me and I liked him, and everything was good. Then we stopped talking for a while because we got into a little argument where he thought I was mad at him so he didn't text or talk to me and after like a week or two I heard he was talking to another girl and I was like, okay well I guess that's okay cause we weren't exactly talking but I mean it still hurt me a little.. and even though we weren't talking he would still show that he was concerned about me, like if I was crying or something he would ask me what was wrong and stuff and he actually seemed like he cared, but obviously what do I know; and after that girl there was another because he said she was a ***** and that she flirted with all of his friends and stuff and when he was talking to this girl he would always ask me who I liked and I would say no one really, and he would say something like "oh..." or "okay, just wondering.." and then I'd repeat the question toward him and he would say, "well i mean i like katie(the girl he was talking to) but i also like this other girl, and when i asked who he would always say, "don't worry about it" or "it doesn't matter" and I don't know what to think about that, but it makes me wonder, and now after all that, he keeps texting me saying he's sorry for what all he's put me through and that he was stupid, and that he shouldn't have treated me the way he did, and he was texting me like the whole night apologizing for how he acted and stuff like that, and now whenever I see him he always looks upset and I've been told that he looks at me a lot in lunch, but I haven't noticed it, I just don't know if he's being sincere about being sorry because its not the first time he's hurt me, so I don't know what to think; any help? Haha, thank you!!
    If you need to know more about the situation, there's aloooot.
    Ha, I just wrote the general things in here. :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Oct 8, 2010, 09:00 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...lp-514111.html

    Same guy?? How old are you??
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Oct 8, 2010, 11:21 AM

    Nooo, different guy.
    I'm 17


    The guy I'm talking about now, is a guy I was talking to prior to the other guy.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #13

    Oct 8, 2010, 12:33 PM

    Another one, what happen to the old one, I thought you were all upset about him just couple days ago.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:22 PM

    Maybe you should look for better options than a guy that has hurt you before. Maybe a fresh start with someone else is what you need right now.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Oct 8, 2010, 08:01 PM
    Okay, yes I know I was just all upset over that other guy.. but I was told by many people that I needed to move on; and I'm trying to; hense this guy..
    And I get why you think I should find someone new but, there's slim pickin's at my school; and I mean SLIM. There is one guy that I know likes me and he's apparently one of the hottest guys at my school, but I just don't have any sort of feelings for him, he's the sweetest guy ever; he's cute and funny and fun to be around, but he's just like.. idk not my type? I'm not sure; everyone thinks I'm crazy for not giving him a chance, but were just really good friends and I feel that if I give him a chance and end up not being able to feel the way he feels about me that we wouldn't talk or be close friends like we are now; I just don't want to ruin our friendship.. everyones telling me that I should either move on or take a break but why should I take a break? I haven't dated a guy in two years and all I'm doing is talking to guys right now, it takes me a while to actually like someone enough to date them.
    So I know it seems nuts to y'all but I move on fast so I don't have to like I don't know.. I don't really know why I'm the way I am.
    But yeah,
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    Oct 8, 2010, 08:15 PM

    So what's up with this need to have a guy when you haven't dated in 2 years??

    Date 'em all, why don't you, and have fun, and keep it friendly, and casual. And have some great high school memories. Dating isn't a commitment, but a fun way to spend time with friends. Ahhh but its romance you are looking for isn't it?? Stop looking and it will find you, no need to force anything, or rush into something.

    Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18- 80, blind, cripple or crazy.
    Never know who you will meet. Disregard the 18-80 remark, your in high school.

    Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

    Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Oct 8, 2010, 08:28 PM
    Alrighty well, I guess you're right.
    Thanks.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Nov 24, 2010, 11:10 AM
    My ex boyfriend's brother texted me?
    Okay so in this I'm going to be talking about my ex and his brother so in this I'm going to change their names so that they don't read it. Lol, so my ex's name will be: alex, his brother's name will be:daniel (:


    Back story:
    I dated this guy, the one I talked about in my previous questions and stuff and we dated for a while and then he broke up with me because of something really stupid. It wasn't anything about me, he still likes me, he still flirts with me, he still hugs me everyday. He still wants me but he won't date me right now because he has "things to take care of".. if you knew what it was you would think its ridiculous but I promised I wouldn't say anything to anyone and I feel like if I even do it anonymously I'm lying sooo, yeahhh

    I got home from school and I noticed that I had a text. I opened it and it was from my ex boyfriend, it said this : "who is this?" so I texted back "its (my name)..? lol who's this??" and he texted back "daniel im alex's older brother, i took his phone. he told me not to text anyone but i am anyways." so I texted back "ha, um ok??" and he texted back "you dated alex right? you're the cheerleader?" and I was like: "yep, thats me i guess" and he was like "oh, you're the one that he was always bragging about, he always told me aboout how pretty you are, but don't tell him i told you all this" and I was like "oh, i wont tell him. we don't talk much anymore anyways" and he was like "why" and I was like :"i don't know, he just never seems like he wants to talk anymore so i just leave him alone" and he was like:"ohh.." and I was like "yep." and he was like "lol this is alex:) lol" and I was like "uh? iight??" and then today during school someone found out about all this and asked him if his brother had his phone and he said yeah and then she told him that his brother was texting me and he got pissed off and freaked out so I'm really confused.. lol like? I don't know but then when she told him what his brother said that he said he just laughed it off and stuff.. so like I don't know, the girl that told me about all this kind of likes him so I'm not sure if I should take that into account or think that maybe she's just saying that because she doesn't want me to know the truth? I really just don't know what to do or to think..
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #19

    Nov 24, 2010, 11:16 AM

    Like maybe you should just ask Alex about this?

    Like I'm thinkin' that this is just a bunch of, like, high school drama.

    Better yet, call Alex, ask to meet him, like, face-to-face and like tell him about the texts.
    b_lovey's Avatar
    b_lovey Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Nov 27, 2010, 12:13 PM

    Okay so me and alex got into a huge fight not too long ago because I thought he was playing games with me, I wrote him a huge letter about how I never wanted to talk to him again. I told him off really bad. The not was about a page and a half long about how much I hated him, and regretted ever meeting him. When he got the letter he texted me but at the time I was grounded so I didn't have my phone. When I ended up getting my phone back I had like 5 texts from him the first said: "wow, I can't believe you think I'd ever do that to you. but whatever, if thats how you feel then fine.". Then the next one said "so you wont even talk to me?" then: "i'd really like to talk to you about this" then: "connor, come on. give me a chance" and the last one said "connor, please just talk to me about this". Then I got on Facebook and he messaged me and we had a huge conversation about it and he told me that he would never do that to me, and it eventually did come out that the person that told me he was playing games was lying because she didn't want me talking to him because she didn't like him. He told me that whenever I hear something about him, If I think for just one second that its true that I need to come to him before anything. He told me he would never lie to me and that I can tell him anything. But the thing is, I don't want to talk to him about this one.. like, we just recently broke up so I'm feeling kind of distant from him. I mean, we talk everyday and its obvious that he still likes me but I don't know. His friends are always coming up to me telling me how much he likes me still, and they make fun of him all the time for breaking up with me and still flirting with me and stuff. When I thought he was playing games with me, I gave him that note. It hurt him really bad, He went to two of my bestfriends knowing one of them hated him.. and he told them about how much he loves me and how much he was hurt about the note. And what made me believe that he wasn't lying is my best friend believed him. She hates him, she can't stand him. But she believed him.. she even said he looked like he was about to cry. He never cries in public. He's too "tough" ha. I know y'all think he's just playing games with me, and maybe he is.. but Im young.. and I want to believe him. Im in high school, this is the place where we're supposed to make mistakes. Its not like I'm ruining my life by caring a lot about a guy and choosing to believe him and stuff.. and I mean, I know I'm contradicting myself. I know I sound stupid for saying all this and then going back on what I say but I don't need y'alls opinion anymore. Im just going to pretend it never happened and if I ever feel the need to know again, I'll say something.. I just don't want to worry about it right now. I don't need another reason to stress this year. Sorry for all the posts about this guy and stuff, and sorry for making everything so complicated, but thanks for the help, everyone. Ha peace.

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