So you condone her going behind her boyfriends back to sniff your behind? You broke NC for that kind of false hope, and drama? You shouldn't even be talking to her. Have you been drinking again??

Im just trying to figure out what the hell is going on? All Im asking is why would she pull this on me? Its not like I contacted her first.


Just asking for second opinions from people who have been in the same position as I am in now.

Try not to take it too personally. Everyone deals with break ups in their own way... may she just needs space. I went through a break up a few years ago wherein no one way really at fault and my ex was a good person that I loved, I just wasn't in love with anymore. It was too hard for me to even consider being friends with him until we had enough time apart to heal. We tried to stay in contact initially, but it was just too hard -- every time we saw each other it was like reopening the break-up wound. Finally, I just cut off all communication with him whatsoever. He was hurt at first, but I think he understood that it was the way I needed to deal with things, and that it was probably the best things for him as well.

I know I may be harsh, but I am sure that you have been told the more you allow her to contact you the more confused YOU will be.

That's what NC is about, unconfusing us when we have exes like this. That use use for emotional tampons when THEY need one. Its all because You make yourself AVAILABLE TO THEM!

Been there, done that, many times.

What if I were to want her back. There has to be a reason she told me all these things. Is there anything I can do?

And why would you want that? Did I read the wrong post, or what?
She needs her ego stroked. Or maybe she sees you as a friend, or maybe she is intentionally feeding you false hope to keep you close because she is bored, or miserable, or both.
Besides gaining clarity, healing, and making good decisions based on facts? Yes, get back to, and stick to NC!!

Or you can throw all advice to the wind, and tell her you need her back, as your long suffering romantic partner. Tell her to dump the guy, and replace him with YOU!!

Let us know how that works for you.

talaniman do you think people deserve second chances?

If they earn it in words, and deeds, and if you want to give them a second chance. No way do you dump me, and then think you can comeback without regaining my trust, and loyalty, without showing that you really deserve it. Words that don't match actions, are MEANINGLESS.

Just me, never looked back, when I got dumped, and NEVER stayed with a person when I thought I was mistreated. I would never trust such a person with my heart ever again. Not ever, and why should I when after a proper healing, I have found better options than misery, pain, and drama.

That's how I found the ANGEL I have been with for 35 years.

I just want to know if the guy she's with is a rebound. Any way a person can tell. If so how do you know if he is or not.

Why do you need to know that? What possible purpose could it serve? What difference does it make? Why is that your business?

Go ask her, " Is this guy a rebound? How long will he be? When he is done, can i have another chance? Oh, how long will it be before you boot him, and give me another shot?"

Are you getting my logic? How can any one answer that question? Bet she can't! You're right there, and you can't!

I'm just stuck on the fact that I can do so much better for her than that other kid. Especially when she told me what she did. Why do girls have to be so complicated, some things are so unfair.

Life is unfair, and so are some of the people that are in it. It is what it is. Right now you have to become unstuck, and seek your healing through NC, so you will be ready for whatever else life throws at you, and get busy building a life that you enjoy without her in it.

You will find someone that deserves you, but you do have to be healthy enough to appreciate it. And she will appreciate you.

Chalk this up to experience, and get beyond it.

Ok.. Coming from someone that broke all the rules and got my boyfriend back after we broke up...

1st step.. Go out with your friends. Have a good time. Show her that you can live without her. Show her that you have a life separate from her life. Show her that you can trust her decisions (even though may not like it) and that this whole ordeal is a learning experience.

2nd step. If you talk to her.. Don't be whiney. Don't bring up the relationship that fell apart. Don't talk about what could have been or what should have been... Just talk about something random.. Ask her what she's up to. Tell her about what happened to you on a day. If you two do talk.. Start over. What happened in the past is in the past.

3rd... stop whining. Seriously. We all know your heart broken. We all have been there.. We all know how the pain is the worse pain you will ever feel.. But.. every wound has to be healed. Find something that makes you happy. Something you did all the time before you met her. And start it back up... Push yourself to do that activiy for 10 minutes. The next day, try 15 minutes. Pretty soon, you'll be participating in that activity longer each time.

You need to find happiness that doesn't require someone in your life. Its healthy for you, its healthy for your next relationship... And who knows.. Maybe you PROOVING to her that you can handle yourself.. that you are a strong, capable person will have her WANT to talk to you again.

Stop living in the past and starting living NOW. If you want your girl back, well, she'll have to want to come back first... then you need to stop crying. Her next move is go go out and have fun... Not sit on the phone or be plagued with text messages of, "WHY WONT YOU TALK TO ME". Leave her alone. She needs to think and sort through things without your opinion and interference. If she wants to be with you again, if she decided that you are her one and only, she'll make the move. You're not going to make that choice for her.

How would you feel if you broke up with someone... You were confused, not sure if that was the right choice... and the person you broke up with was pestering you every day? Pretty irritated.

The above answer seemed pretty damn good. I'll add my 2 cents. I've been dating an amazing girl for 1 year and 3 months. We had some rough patches but were pretty good at trying to fix them. The longest we didn't talk for was a week. But about four days ago she said she was leaving. And that maybe we'd meet later down the road. We always talked of getting married and honestly I think I should have. She was awesome. Cooked for me, did my laundry, even cleaned my friends apt for 8hrs for free lol! Oh and she was sooooooo hot. Honestly all my friends were jealous. I didn't even have to try to get her either. She just liked me :) Anyway it sucks now though. I called her around 4 or 5 days ago and she didn't answer. I've been trying to not think of it. I'm starting to go to the gym and doing cardio to get in shape. I just have to show her that she is missing out and its her loss if she doesn't have me. I think talking to some other girls and getting them to like you will make your girlfriend jealous and then she'll want you back. When she knows other girls want you, she'll want you too! (hopefully) And who knows maybe is a better girl for you!

Advice: Cut her off completely. Quite checking your phone to see if she's called or not. Change your cell phone # so that way you won't have to worry about whether she's called. Change your house phone so won't be able to contact you on that. Quit checking your myspace,Facebook, twitter accounts.
I guarantee you that if you ignore her, it will not only help you get over her, it may even cause her to start contact you again. And then you can turn the tables on her. Start developing this habit now,while your still young.
Trust me man women are suckers for men who ignore them.