I am currently 25 and a single mother to a 9 month old gorgeous baby boy! Myself and his dad got together for a brief fling (nothing serious) and I got pregnant on our first night of sleeping together!

When I first told him about the baby he was shocked and ignored me for few weeks after telling me to get rid! Unfortunately I couldn't do that. Anyway... he eventually came round to idea and we gradually built up quite a good friendship during the pregnancy and he was pretty supportive.

I had to move back in with my mum as I gave up my job. He supported me through the birth and immediately bonded with baby. I found it tough raising a baby under mums supervision so we agreed that I could move in with him until I was offered a council house. Living with him was good... he went to work and I was housewife and we were acting like a proper couple.

But he was used to his way of living and had a lot of hobbies so he was out a lot... didnt mind at first as I had landed myself in his house but it soon got to me. I was bored with no job or friends in the area so staying in with baby all the time got me down and I took it out on him which he always handled pretty well and cheered me up.

Anyway... my moaning got too much and when I got my house we agreed that I move out of his. He said we could still be together... but again he was always busy so my moaning got worse. I got drunk one night and told him I loved him and acted like an idiot when he didn't say it back. He said he not at that stage yet. So that ruined things and soon after he finished with me completely.

He sees our son every weekend and is good dad. I thought that we were going to be happy family... I know having a baby first then trying relationship is not the best way! I love him and want him but he doesn't feel the same... do you think he ever will. He is 26 and very very stubborn. Long winded I know but *** help as I'm a bit stuck... didnt plan on falling for him x

I hope you learned a lot from this experience and I hope you put this family idea behind you and really focus on making your situation a good environment for your child to grow happy and healthy in.

Glad he is a good dad, and hope you both can be good parents, even if you can never be romantic partners. Focus on your child, and a life you both enjoy, without him.

Oh lucylou, it may never happen.
I agree you need to concentrate on yourself and your beautiful baby boy. That is the most important thing right now. You can't make some one love you. It doesn't work that way.

I would be thankful that you can raise your baby with a Father and a Mother. Ask your Mom to watch your son, while you go out and spend some time with friends or have the Father watch his son.
There is life after children and it's usually better:)

If he hasn't fallen for you after having his child and playing house, then he never will. You will need to count your blessings, that you have great son, and his father does want to be involved with raising him. But that is all.
You might want to find a part-time job to help get over being bored and that will also help you get out and meet new people. Start going out with friends. Remember just because he didn't return your feelings doesn't mean your life is over, its just means you need to start a new chapter.
Good luck and congrats on your baby boy!!

Congrats on your lovely boy!
Count yourself lucky that he is being a good dad. That's worth a lot. Be as 'adult' as you can and try not to imagine you will ever be a couple again. Your son will admire you both for that. You have the opportunity to raise him without constant bickering and fights. Take that opportunity and try to 'free' yourself for a new partner. I hope you can look back in years to come - enjoy a lovely, secure child - be happy with someone else and have a good relationship with your ex. I had that situation (the other way round) 10 years ago. It really has worked a treat. We're both in happy relationships and have a lovely girl who is happy, confident, funny and popular. It only worked because at some point we both stood back and behaved like adults - but I'm not going to say it was easy;-)
You can do it!
Best of luck!

Lucylou, you can't make someone feel something he doesn't. I am concerned that you are convincing yourself that you feel something deeper than you do. After the upheaval you have been through over the past year and a half, it is understandable that your emotions are probably all mixed up and you are focusing on him as a constant in your life.

Don't rely on him for your emotional or mental support. Put your energy into raising a healthy, happy child and rebuilding your own life. Let yourself heal from pregnancy, relationship issues, raising a baby, etc.

Don't try to build a relationship with anyone other than your child and yourself right now. By moving forward and not clinging to uncertain support, you make yourself stronger and a better partner in your next relationship whether it is with him or someone else.

Congratulations on having a healthy child. May you both share many wonderful memories and experiences.

I agree with all that has been said; it doesn't look like there is a future for you with him.

But, what impresses me is that he is a good father, and is regularly seeing his son. If you can have a friendship with his father, that will go such a long way in the healthy development of your son. And with you and him being agreeable with each other, the natural extension of that would be friendly terms with both sets of grandparents too.

So, your future does look bright, there is a good foundation being built by both parents, you have a healthy baby, and a happy future.

All the best to you.

Hello Lucy,

I am sorry for your situation, however, you had a beautiful baby boy out of all of this. That's a blessing. I know what your going through, as I was in some what the same situation you are in. You are lucky to where he wants to be a part of your sons life.

I understand that it is hard being the one who fell in love, and the other person doesn't feel the same way. Unfortunately I believe that if he isn't in love with you now, I don't think he ever will. I do believe that he has love for you, being that you are the Mother of his child, but not in love.

Who knows though, stranger things have happened, an over time, he may fall in love.

For now, just focus on this little angel and every thing will work out the way it is supposed to.

Good Luck.

From what you told here, you and him didn't have a bonding or serious relationship before, and your pregnancy was accidental, which mean you two didn't expect this. Anyway, it's really nice that you two take responsibility on the baby, especially from his part, it might be quite difficult but he still choose to be supportive and help the ways he can. I hope he will continue being a good father to the baby.

However, he doesn't love you right now, that's obvious as he said it himself. And will he love you in the future? No one can tell you for sure as it's unpredictable. Anyway, please don't depend too much on him emotionally as you just can't force or make someone feel the same way you feel. My advice is to focus on taking good care of yourself as well as your baby. I know you just couldn't help imagine being a family, you him and the baby, but I don't think it's a good idea to expect too much on this when he's still not in the same page. It can upset you if things do not go the way you want it to be.

Nothing wrong to love him and have such a good feeling towards him as long as you don't suffer from these feelings. You can show him by being nice to him, be his support when he needs any help, ask him out for some activities you both enjoy. Anyway, you have to make sure that you won't make it like you try to put pressure on him to fall for you or make it uncomfortable for him (crying, begging, or try to force him too much). Please take it easy, see how it goes, and how he reacts. Meanwhile, whether it will happen or not between you and him, it's always a smart choice to be happy with your life and keep moving forward to be a person you want to be. And even if he just can't reciprocate your feelings, you can still be happy on your own with your beautiful baby, And even not him, you might find the right guy in the future.

So please enjoy life and be happy. Best wishes to you and the baby...

I am in the same position right now, only my sons father has never showed any signs of romantic feelings for me what so ever, it is heartbreaking and makes me feel nuts as the idea never leaves my mind and is driving me mad, obsessive you might even say, I come across as strong ,attractive, whatever, I work and do everything I can to try forget it and move on with someone else, yet here I am typing the same question in the Google search engine, quiet pathetic, considering I put the question to him a few weeks back and the clearest no anyone could get, pretty bummed myself and I am hoping it gets easier.