Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    tara1124's Avatar
    tara1124 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:05 AM
    How to hurt a married man
    I was in love with a married man that lied to me about leaving his wife and I believe he still have feelings for me cause he want stay away from me I just want to know how to hurt him like he hurt me
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:07 AM

    I don't think anyone will give you advice on how to hurt him (I assume emotionally).

    But I can offer you advice on how to get over him?

    He didn't really love you or care for you because he didn't leave his wife,he kept you as his bit on the side and his poor wife made his dinners and did his laundry.

    Your revenge is being a better person,moving on with your life,stopping him from taking away any more of your time,heart or head space.

    Understanding that your worth more,and so is his wife.hes a cheater,you helped in that,but if your out you can stay out, knowing that the type of man he is was never worth a moment of your time.

    Stop all contact with him,disappear from his life.

    What goes around comes around.
    Imabadman's Avatar
    Imabadman Posts: 303, Reputation: 135
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:14 AM

    Honey he didn't hurt you. You hurt yourself. You allowed yourself to get involved with a man who was not available. While he may have lied to you and I have no doubt his moral compass is totally screwed up you need to accept responsibility for your pain.

    This is one of life's lessons. Learn from it. Move forward knowing you will never allow that to happen to you again.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:49 AM


    You really need to forget about it and move on. He lied to you, right, but you knew he was untrustworthy when you started seeing him, otherwise he wouldn't have been cheating and lying to his wife.

    While he is totally at fault for his actions, you are 100% responsible for yours. You are not a victim, you are a willing participant who got entangled in a messed up wreck.

    Of course he still wants to see you... most men do still want to continue a relationship with their mistress, but remember most men don't leave their wife. Don't allow him back in your life!
    FoxCash's Avatar
    FoxCash Posts: 160, Reputation: 125
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Sep 2, 2010, 10:02 AM

    He's already hurting himself. His being selfish and not caring about anything other than his own needs is going to burn him hard in the end.

    You're not the first and you won't be the last for him. Hopefully when he does it again after you his wife will realize how much better she deserves and walks away from him.

    I completely understand how angry you are at the lies you were told while keeping up with a relationship that never should have been. But wanting to hurt him, or make me feel sorry for what he's done isn't going to make you feel better nor is it going to happen.

    As you begin to truly pull away and remove him from your life you will feel a lot of emotions. One being disgusted in yourself for what you did and allowed yourself to be apart of. But follow the advice of everyone here and remove him from your life, move on and make better choices in the future.

    First step is being sorry for what you did after that you'll be able to forgive yourself. And once you go through those steps you'll begin to realize a lot more about the truth of this "relationship".

    He never did love you. Sadly, he doesn't love his wife either. You'll begin to see a lot more of the lies he told and what type of person he truly is.
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Sep 2, 2010, 10:22 AM

    The best way to hurt him is to walk away with whatever dignity and self respect you have left and let him live his pitiful life of a miserable liar and insecure cheat that he is.

    You're worth more and you deserve better.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Sep 2, 2010, 03:39 PM

    Why is it HIS fault YOU fell for the OLDEST line in the book?
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:01 PM

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. There is only one way to hurt him but you don’t want to go that route. Telling the wife is going to create pain on her and she is an innocent in this situation.

    You made a mistake please don’t follow it up with another one.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:06 PM

    Do you know how to say NO? It's very easy just say it when he wants to come over for a quickie. Just say NO.

    As for telling his wife, you may want to think about that. You may bite off more than you can chew.

    Hell also hath no fury like a wife who finds hubby's has a piece of fluff on the side. You need to leave the man alone. JUST say NO.

    If you tell her, she's going to hold on that much tighter and she can make your life a nightmare.

    What's the word again? That magic word... NO!
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:11 PM

    Why are you surprised that he lied to you?! He had already lied to the one person he should have been the most honest with above all else.

    Tell him to back off and leave you alone. Then look in the mirror yourself and figure why you allowed yourself to get involved with a married man in the first place so you won't repeat the same selfish mistake in the future.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
    Full Member
     
    #11

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:35 PM

    Wow.. Askmehelpdesk.com women are going in heavy on this one. I feel sorry for this woman.

    She is the other woman but the husband is the real dirt bag.
    FoxCash's Avatar
    FoxCash Posts: 160, Reputation: 125
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Marriedguy View Post
    She is the other woman but the husband is the real dirt bag.
    They both were equal participants in this. She was blinded by false "love" and hurt by the lies from a man who seems to have no problem with hurting and deceiving others. It's sad that it happened to her but she walked into it on her own free will.

    Getting revenge on this guy isn't going to do her any good in the long run instead owning up to her part in it and moving on from him will.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #13

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by FoxCash View Post
    They both were equal participants in this. She was blinded by false "love" and hurt by the lies from a man who seems to have no problem with hurting and deceiving others. It's sad that it happened to her but she walked into it on her own free will.

    Getting revenge on this guy isn't going to do her any good in the long run instead owning up to her part in it and moving on from him will.
    Got to spread the rep Foxcash... You are so right!
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
    Business Expert
     
    #14

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:53 PM

    Quick question.

    Did you know that he was married when you started this affair? If so, then you do bear some of the responsibility.

    Time to move on though and learn. Mistakes make us who we are today if we learn from them and grow.

    Stringer
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #15

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Marriedguy View Post
    Wow..Askmehelpdesk.com women are going in heavy on this one. I feel sorry for this woman.

    She is the other woman but the husband is the real dirt bag.
    I'm afraid I don't feel sorry for her; other than that she is hurting. She knew what she was doing when she went into it. Plenty of blame to go around. It is unfortunate that she was led to believe something different, and now hurts from it, but she should have done the right thing to begin with and avoided getting involved with a married man. She would have saved herself the pain.

    Hard lesson learned.

    He can't be a dirt bag without a willing participant.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #16

    Sep 2, 2010, 05:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    I'm afraid I don't feel sorry for her; other than that she is hurting. She knew what she was doing when she went into it. Plenty of blame to go around. It is unfortunate that she was led to believe something different, and now hurts from it, but she should have done the right thing to begin with and avoided getting involved with a married man. She would have saved herself the pain.

    Hard lesson learned.

    He can't be a dirt bag without a willing participant.



    He didn't twist her arm or drag her to his cave by her hair. She knew what she was doing... Gotta spread the rep Doulac C.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marriedguy View Post
    Wow..Askmehelpdesk.com women are going in heavy on this one. I feel sorry for this woman.

    She is the other woman but the husband is the real dirt bag.


    Feel sorry for the wife and the kids. They are getting the short end of the stick.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #17

    Sep 2, 2010, 06:03 PM

    You want to really hurt him, then move on, forget about him, and find someone else that will really love you.

    And sorry but you knew he was married, and know that men all lie about leaving their wife's
    Imabadman's Avatar
    Imabadman Posts: 303, Reputation: 135
    Full Member
     
    #18

    Sep 13, 2010, 08:56 AM

    "...and know that men all lie about leaving their wifes."

    Well now that's a broad statement with out fact or bases of validation, a.k.a. BS.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #19

    Sep 13, 2010, 09:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Imabadman View Post
    "...and know that men all lie about leaving their wifes."

    Well now that's a broad statement with out fact or bases of validation, a.k.a. BS.
    How many married men do you know that screw around? It's not B.S.
    There are good men who don't mess around. Most married men who cheat ARE NOT going to tell the girl he's married, or if he does he's making up lies, i.e. my wife is frigid, my wife doesn't understand me.
    My wife and I are staying together only until the kids are older. My own personal favorite which has been used numerous times on friends of mine is, "our marriage has been over for years and we haven't had sex
    In years, but I can't leave her or she'll take everything. Men and women lie if they are in an affair.
    Imabadman's Avatar
    Imabadman Posts: 303, Reputation: 135
    Full Member
     
    #20

    Sep 13, 2010, 10:04 AM

    I agree, both men and women will tend to lie while in an affiar. Either to their spouse, the 'other' person, or themselves. That is my opinion.

    But please, don't try to pass off generalizations and opinions as fact. To say, "...and know that men all lie about leaving their wifes." is just as much a generalization and opinion as, "Most married men who cheat ARE NOT going to tell the girl he's married, or if he does he's making up lies, i.e. my wife is frigid, my wife doesn't understand me. My wife and I are staying together only until the kids are older."

    Response like that claiming “all men this…” or “all women that…” just show the posters opinion of the selected gender and/or their bruised egos because, well… they lived it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Middle aged Gay Man in love with a married straight man [ 30 Answers ]

I've lived a long time and had many experiences but this one is driving me crazy. In my younger days I've had bedded straight married men and didn't find it satisfying because I was in it for love and they were in it for sex. That was 25 years ago, now here I am 25 years older and wiser and find...

How to win the heart of a married man.who said he wasn't married anymore. [ 21 Answers ]

I hope someone can help. I met this man and he swept me off my feet.I have not been on a date in 2 years. The night I met him we stayed together until 4:30 in the morning. On the dance floor we started kissing, I never did that in my life. He asked me to go out with him on the following wed...


View more questions Search