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    deniselinnea's Avatar
    deniselinnea Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:42 PM
    My boyfriend took pics of me while I was sleeping and I found them the other day.
    Hi I found some naked pics my boyfriend took of me while I was asleep. I broke up with him and told him I could not trust him. He said he was going to tell me but I can't help but feel totally betrayed. We were going out for nine months. My question is: Has this ever happened to any of you and how did you feel?
    nadia.baseer.durrani's Avatar
    nadia.baseer.durrani Posts: 27, Reputation: 7
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    #2

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:45 PM
    Not a good thing for him to do. Did you ask him if he has anymore of your pix? U need to get them bak if he has.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:50 PM

    I've never had this happen to me, but if it did, I'd be furious.

    This is something very serious, not just a betrayal of trust, but depending on your age, it could also be illegal!

    Make sure you get the pictures back and make it very clear to him that if he even thinks of showing them to anyone else you will report him.
    deniselinnea's Avatar
    deniselinnea Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:50 PM

    Yes I asked he said those were the only ones. Im just shocked I had no idea he was like that. He is a professional promenant person where he lives I had a lot of respect for him this totally blows me away. I broke up with him and I'm just going through the aweful stages of loss. He supported me financially now I'm on my own and I'm scared.


    Im 40. Thank you for confirmming that it is serious. I need to move on now and just hope my next boyfriend isn't like that. This makes me sick!
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #5

    Jul 15, 2010, 11:07 PM
    As a boy who likes voyeurism, I'm mixed here...

    I've had a lover undress in front of a window when she knew I was in the private backyard. It was great.

    That same lover would sometimes shower with the bathroom door open and the curtain pulled aside... she knew what she was doing.

    In this case, it's a bit different...

    I completely get that he betrayed you. Its not OK.

    I think a man fantasizing about his loved one can take many shapes and forms. Doesn't mean it needs to be OK with you.

    His intention might have been good but his execution was idiotic. It happens...

    He probably wasn't going to tell you. He probably liked the secret voyeur aspect.

    Would it be better if he never took those pic of you but he had pics of strangers off the internet? Just asking.

    Doesn't matter what his motivation was... he could just be primed by your figure and form... he didn't have your permission and he was reckless. That's true, no matter what the interpretation is...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jul 15, 2010, 11:12 PM

    doesn't matter what his motivation was... he could just be primed by your figure and form... he didn't have your permission and he was reckless. That's true, no matter what the interpretation is...
    Exactly.

    I'm a gal, love the male form in all it's naked glory, and yes, I have had a sneak peek when the man wasn't aware. Were this crossed the line was that he took pictures without your permission.

    Sure he's seen you naked, that's no big. You sleep nude so he's seen you naked when you weren't aware. To take pictures without asking, that's the big no no here.

    Now, I do have to ask, are you willing to talk to him, listen to what he has to say, give him a chance to explain?

    I understand that you're angry now, and I totally understand why, but is this the deal breaker?

    When I responded to you I thought you may be a teen. I don't know why that would be worse, because it really shouldn't be, privacy is privacy, but, you're not a child, neither is he. If you do love him, maybe there's some way to work this out and then make it very clear that what he did, he better not ever do again.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #7

    Jul 16, 2010, 12:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    Exactly.

    I'm a gal, love the male form in all it's naked glory, and yes, I have had a sneak peek when the man wasn't aware. Were this crossed the line was that he took pictures without your permission.

    Sure he's seen you naked, that's no big. You sleep nude so he's seen you naked when you weren't aware. To take pictures without asking, that's the big no no here.

    Now, I do have to ask, are you willing to talk to him, listen to what he has to say, give him a chance to explain?

    I understand that you're angry now, and I totally understand why, but is this the deal breaker?

    When I responded to you I thought you may be a teen. I don't know why that would be worse, because it really shouldn't be, privacy is privacy, but, you're not a child, neither is he. If you do love him, maybe there's some way to work this out and then make it very clear that what he did, he better not ever do again.



    If my husband took nude pictures of me... I would be shocked. I look like I need ironing!:eek:
    AskTheKitty's Avatar
    AskTheKitty Posts: 24, Reputation: 10
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    #8

    Jul 16, 2010, 07:05 AM
    It's much better to be on your own than to be with someone you can't trust.
    Any breakup takes time to overcome, and I understand your having to adjust to
    Supporting yourself now that you're on your own again. You'll be far happier in
    The long run knowing that you don't have to look over your shoulder or worry when
    You're asleep, about pictures being taken without your consent.
    He said he was going to tell you about it? If so, he would have asked your permission
    Beforehand. He didn't respect you enough to take them with your knowledge, so you're
    Far better off without someone like that. Whether he's a prominent citizen or not, he
    Treated you with disrespect and lord only knows what he had planned to do with those
    Pictures. You did the right thing by leaving him, and as time goes on, I hope you get
    A sense of peace about things!
    Your integrity is worth far more than any relationship! :)
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #9

    Jul 16, 2010, 07:19 AM

    It's one thing to tell you/ask you for permission to take pictures, it's another to do so when you have no idea.

    That's definitely a line crosser...
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #10

    Jul 17, 2010, 01:06 AM

    Hi OP, so I take it your b/f of what 9 months has taken some naked pics of you whilst you were sleeping, has he shown them to others, has he done this before at anytime, has he any other photos of naked girls?

    I agree it is a violation of your trust however you were sleeping in his bed at the time? So in that case he couldn't exactly ask you for your consent, hard to get consent out of a sleeping person, it could just have been a spur of the moment impulse from this man. You say he said he was going to tell you, you've been with him 9 months, do you think he was telling the truth?

    So how can you say he betrayed your trust,you were sleeping.

    I personally wouldn't be making much noise over this had it been myself, Ive taken photos of my husband whilst he's been sleeping and yes he too was naked. I just thought how awesome he looked sleeping and snapped away, I didn't even think of the fact he was naked, I just wanted a photo of him looking that serene that peaceful.

    Perhaps that's all your b/f was thinking when he took photos of you, or had he put you into certain positions, like having your legs open, or showing your body in a certain way.

    I have read what others here have said to you, however I am going to say its not the end of the world unless you have some proof that he took them in a sluttish way or to exploit you, and your body, that they were not taken in a tasteful manner, and you don't believe he would have told you. If the above is how you feel then just continue as you are and the relationship is over. You have the photos, he's lost you, and that's it.

    Seems a bit drastic, but then it depends on how you feel about him...

    You could have tried talking to him asked him, spoken about it logically, well maybe you will live to regret being so quick to accuse or condemn. You've lost your financial support perhaps you would have realised that if you`d spoken to him first...
    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jul 17, 2010, 01:17 AM

    It never happened to me. That's not a funny thing, its your privacy. Maybe he did it for fun but not a good things to do..
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #12

    Jul 17, 2010, 01:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    If my husband took nude pictures of me....I would be shocked. I look like I need ironing!:eek:
    LOL love the comment kit ;)
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #13

    Jul 17, 2010, 09:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    LOL love the comment kit ;)
    Thanks... I would be so ticked .
    Keith1972's Avatar
    Keith1972 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jan 28, 2011, 10:38 PM
    I have done the same thing. I took pics of my girlfriend while she was sleeping in her underwear. She and I were drunk and she passed out. As I looked at her lying there, she looked so beautiful and I was completely turned on. I had my camera and I took some photos. I kept them as a private fantasy. I love her dearly and would never consider sharing those photos with anyone. She was browsing around and found the photos. I apologized and she felt like her trust was betrayed. I told her that if she wanted to boot me to the curb, I would understand. She said she would forgive me and told me that to my credit, the photos were flattering and that she thought her *** looked hot in the photos. We don't even bring up the subject anymore. Just get her consent - I made a drunken, horny mistake and luckily, my girlfriend could see my perspective in all of this and understood my motivations.

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