Hello.

I am 31, single, living away from my parents. For the past several months, my relationship with my mother has been explosive, to put it mildly. Every time we talk on phone, we invariably end up having a quarrel over petty egoistic issues. My grouse against her is that she goes back on her spoken word and presents a picture of ignorance about the things she had said in the past and which she has gone on to contradict. I have at been at the edge of my patience for long, and have gone over the edge now.

She was grievously ill in the recent past, but after having recovered, she refuses to live with my elder brother's family. She covets her pride over everything else, and dragged herself out of my brother's house (where she had been TAKEN to recover) in a half-sick state as she wanted to go back to her own home. Her fierce streak of independence and determination served her well while she was younger (she is 67 now) and she really did a lot for the close as well as extended family. However, her pride is not hurting her health as she neglects her health while she is at home, but she is too stubborn to let others take care of her. My father is 77, and he cannot make her see reason.

Every time I squabble with her, I feel rotten afterwards. But while I am talking to her, I am infuriated by her INCONSISTENT approach to a discussion, be it about her health or other worldly issues, and lose my temper.

In short, the love has gone out of her relationship of late. Any suggestions?

*now hurting her health

When your mom is starting another fight say to her, mom don't start another fight I'm sick of it.if she does not listen just hang up. If you feel rotten later on wait five more minutes to cool down and call her back up to say your sorry. And if she won't listen on the phone then go to her house and tell her but try to stay calm at all times.