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    neenish's Avatar
    neenish Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 18, 2010, 04:58 AM
    My best friend is not talking with me and refuse to meet me
    Hi, friends
    I'm in very big problem can somebody help me to come out of this. My problem is my very best friend is not talking with me. Even not attending my callls.we are friends from last 20years.its very difficult to me that leave without her. Please help me to get her back. We both are very good friends
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:06 AM

    You may think you are but obviously something has changed. They no longer feel as you do. So leave them alone and get about making new friends with other activities in your life.

    It hurts to lose friends, but we can make new ones.
    neenish's Avatar
    neenish Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:21 AM
    My best friend is not talking with me and refuse to meet me
    But its not too easy for me to make friend. We are friends from last 20 years and now... the reason to break our friendship is only because of me. Its my mistake please help me. If I tell u everything about us and how we care and love each other then would u help me or tell me how to get her back please help me. It's a big problem for me.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:23 AM
    More info on the situation would really be helpful.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:28 AM

    Maybe if you use spell check, and complete words, and refrain from abbreviations and chat text, and stop making new threads and keep your story in this thread, we may be able to help you through this. Getting someone back, who doesn't want to be back, is somewhat impossible. Give it a try!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 18, 2010, 05:51 AM

    It might help if we knew more about the issues involved and why she broke off your friendship. Ages would help as would cultural background and how long ago the issue occurred.

    Very generalized advice:

    If she is angry and hurt, she may not want to be your friend for a long time. Since you cannot make her forgive you or listen to you, all you can do is take responsibility for any damage you caused and then go about your life. When she calms down, maybe she will get in touch with you.

    Insisting on contacting her while she is angry will only prolong that anger. Getting over anger and hurt is like letting a cut heal. If she is starting to calm down (the cut is healing) and you contact her, it is like pulling the scab off and pouring salt on the open wound. It will only make her angry and hurt her again.

    Let her heal and contact you.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jun 18, 2010, 06:06 AM

    Hey it happens.

    I so happen stopped talking to my friend, and we've been friends for a long time.

    I stopped talking to her because I got busy with work and just not being home very long. I just got busy. Every once in awhile I send her a message on a social networking site.

    There were also some other reasons I don't talk to her. She started rapping, and every time we talked she wanted to show me her new song. Now I'm not a rap person, not at all. It's not that I don't support her it's just that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it to begin with. It's like someone is running nails on a chalk board.

    If I were you I'd just do my own thing as well. We've had our moments and months that we don't talk and then we start chatting it up again like nothing happened.

    If your friendship has lasted 20 years it can certainly last this rough patch,

    So take Cat's advice and stop contacting her and let her come to you.

    Just another thing:

    Last year me and my friend on 10+ years got into this weird fight, I didn't speak to her in a year and we just started talking again and we've both moved on from what happened.

    So in short, fights and getting distant happen, but you'll get back together in no time :)

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