I am currently delinquent on my child support for a variety of reasons. Currently, pay is being deducted from my check every two weeks, and being sent to the custodial parent. However, Child Support Enforcement has an open enforcement case, which currently has no payments, since no payment is being sent to her (the custodial parent is not providing info about the payments being made to her). My payroll company says that they must continue sending payments to my ex-wife (at an outdated address) until they receive a court order specifying that they send them somewhere else, or until the custodial parent updates her address with the payroll company, which she refuses to do. Currently, my payroll deductions are being mailed to an incorrect address and never cashed.

Now, because the custodial parent wants me to sign Termination of Parental Rights paperwork so that my daughter can be adopted by her new husband, she has threatened to swear out a warrant for me for criminal abandonment, since she has not received child support from me for over a year. Some of that time I was unemployed, but I returned to my old employer (the one sending my deductions directly to her) within the last three months. I was advised that, as she is not receiving her support payments (due to her not updating her address), she has a case for abandonment.

My question is: would it help my situation to make a payment of support directly to Child Support Enforcement? The full amount is impractical (the support deduction is half of my paycheck, and making the full payment in addition to having the initial payment lost in the aether would leave me with no money and starving to death); I, could, however, make a token payment to ensure that she is receiving some support. As child abandonment is a felony in Georgia, I'm eager to avoid it if possible.

You are joking, right?

Get documentation from the payroll company of the payments, where sent, and the fact that they have been uncashed. Give this documentation to Child Support Enforcement, together with the new address. They, or you, should ask the court to notify the payroll company where to send the checks.

*Shakes head in disbelief.*

Those are all excellent suggestions, and pretty close to what I'm currently working on. However, the process runs pretty slowly, made worse by the extreme inefficiency of Child Support Services in Georgia. My ex-wife is threatening me with imminent Criminal Abandonment charges if I do not sign the TPR (I believe that this legally constitutes a threat, which should make the TPR papers contestable in court).

I am looking for a way to attempt to avoid the warrant from being sworn out in the first place. Since she can avoid my payroll garnishment checks for a good while by not updating her address, I'm trying to find a way to "force" (not by physical force, FTR) her to accept some child support money so that I don't appear to be a deadbeat.

I'm willing to pay the support, but the current situation is unacceptable, and I'm unwilling to even consider signing her paperwork until the situation is cleared up.

No, I don't think that would be a good idea.

Notify the court in writing, with copies to your child's mother and Child Support, of the entire situation.

In general, how do I notify the court? With the current financial situation (which feels suspiciously like I'm paying my ex-wife's lawyer to screw me), I can only hire an attorney if things get worse. Would I fax the documentation and explanation to the Clerk of Courts, or to some other entity? Thanks a million for the advice.

There was a court case? I'm guessing that the payroll company was ordered to deduct a certain amount from your pay by a writ of garnishment, or something to that effect. That would be the court case.

File some sort of motion (call it "Motion to Amend Garnishment Order" or something), in the same format as other papers filed in your court case, sign it, give your mailing address, and include proof of mailing to the opposing party (custodial parent). Then ask for a hearing at which time you will be able to again explain to the court what your child's mom is threatening to do.

Some courts accept faxes and some don't. It would be best to bring it in to the court clerk's office in person, but if that is impractical, mail it.

There's definitely a court case, although I'm not certain that the support order originated as part of the court case. I was ordered to have my pay garnished by a judge in Towns County, GA in August of 2008. There was a divorce hearing in March of 2009, which I was not informed of (the papers they sent me stated that they did not have my address). Grand irony of ironies, they sent my new, improved, increased support amount at the address at which I had been living (the one they claimed they didn't know).

Anyway, it's extremely impractical to bring the paperwork to the Court in person (it's an 8 hour drive one-way). I'll look into how to file a motion, but I feel I may need to spend what little money I have left on an attorney.

They may try and do something,but you have proof things are being paid, your payroll department can make a statement to show how much as been sent and to where.

Take HER back to family court, for fraud and blackmail, to force her to correct her address.

Also sorry, 8 hour drive, who gives a flip, better than 8 days in jail till they figure the mistake

On a rational level, I know that you're right. There are, however, days where I wish they just would take me to jail so that I didn't have to deal with this anymore. It's been such a nightmare!

Mail it then. That shouldn't be a problem. Or call the clerk of court about faxes.

Ask her to take you to court. Make sure you take your pay stubs with you. Show it to the judge with that deer in the headlights look. Somebody has the money if it went uncashed. And if it is the payroll company there may be room for a lawsuit.

Possibly. But I don't really want to sue anyone. I just want my daughter to have the support she needs and would like to be able to be a part of her life again. Or at least to be able to cut my losses and move on. Try the fatherhood thing again with someone who's not vindictive and crazy.

Fatherhood IS NOT a thing. It's a commitment to your child even before unzipping your pants.

Sorry if I caused offense. I have a tendency to speak casually, even about things that are important. Maybe it's a defense mechanism or something. I'm trying to do the right thing on this, but I feel that the system is being used against me in order to get me out of my daughter's life. And I'm not even sure at this point that that's not the best thing for her.

Umm what about the daughter you have? I have no clue on this law, and I probably have no right posting here, but umm aren't you still a father regardless of the mental state of your ex? Could you imagine if every single mother said that when dealing with the dead beat dads in their lives??



Let the reddies roll in.

The situation is such that I'm reasonably certain that my ex-wife could have my rights involuntarily taken away under GA law, as the fact that income has been deducted from my check and never reached her isn't relevant. To the state of Georgia, I haven't paid child support or visited in over a year, which is grounds for involuntary Termination of Parental Rights. I haven't been able to see my daughter in over two years, since she was about 6 months old. She wouldn't recognize me now if she saw me, or I her.

The way things are now, I can see her IF I can convince my mother to ride with me in the car for 16 hours in a single weekend (32 hours if we actually want to bring Faith home) and pick her up at the police station. Even then, I'm limited by the court to 5 weekends per year. Half of my pay is currently being taken to pay for a daughter I never get to see. My daughter has a father who can't be there, and I, working a full-time job with a bachelor's degree, am taking home a cool $5.00 per hour.

It strikes me as slightly different than a single mom dealing with a deadbeat dad (and I'm trusting that you're not accusing me of being one of those). Their children are concrete, there with them to be bonded with and share all of the special moments of growing up. As I can't spend time with Faith, she exists mostly in the abstract. It's not her fault, but I'm nearly certain that it would be in her best interests if I signed the papers to terminate my rights, allow her new daddy to legally adopt her, and try to move on with my life as best I can. I am, however, trying my best to stay out of jail and get credit for the support payments that I've actually made. Please don't try to make me feel bad about wanting to protect myself from legal harm, or worse about having my daughter taken away.

It doesn't sound to me like your daughter is being taken away - it sounds to me like you gave her away. I assume she wore clothes and ate food during the period you couldn't/didn't pay support? Who provided both?

You need to address arrearages directly with the child support unit. I am aware that in some States if she is adopted your unpaid support payments are dropped.

You are more concerned about saving your tail than caring for/providing for your daughter. I realize she wouldn't know you if you rang her doorbell; however, I don't see that that's your daughter's fault - or her mother's, for that matter.

And as far as trying the fatherhood "thing" again - please, not with my daughter or anyone else I know.

This is not an arrearage issue. The issue is that support payments were being paid directly to the custodial parent and thus were not credited to the existing case with support enforcement. She also thoughtfully didn't say anything about this to the enforcement unit, hoping that she could swear out a warrant for abandonment and that I wouldn't fight it. If you are here to cast dispersion on me, I don't particularly need it. As long as I'm actually getting credit for the payments and not getting threatened with jail for not making payments that are being made (read the original post and notice that it says that payments ARE being made!), I'll be as happy as I'll ever be making them into infinity. How does it help my daughter for money to be deducted from my paycheck and just float around while her mother refuses to take them so that she can have me sent to jail? I'm doing the best I can here.

The non-custodial parent has rights, as well, even when they didn't choose to be the non-custodial parent. Strangely enough, I came home one day to find that my wife and daughter had picked up and moved to another state, and I didn't have the financial means to fight it. I would love for Faith to be close enough for me to be there at all of her important events growing up. But it's not in the cards. Please don't treat me like I walked out on my family and now don't want to pay my support. If you think it's right that I should be making support payments and continue to be threatened with legal action for their non-payment, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't speak to your daughter or to anyone you know, so you needn't worry about that.

No, in Georgia she can not just take your rights away, merely not paying support or even not visiting, does not give away any rights in GA.

Your attitude seems to need adjusting, you need to get her back into court, but you seem to honestly appear to care less about a relationship with daughter as you do the money. Or the time and trouble it causes you.

You get to court, set up a visit plan and actually visit your daughter, who cares what mom wants or thinks.

You go to court and get the money straightened up

I'm sorry, I'm only going to post on this subject once more, as I know I am not helping you in your situation. REGARDLESS of where your daughter lives, you are her father. She is half of you. No I was not calling you a dead beat dad, but this is a poor excuse.

You can make any excuse in the world to justify how you feel she is not really your daughter. Regardless if this other man adopts her, he may become her dad, but you are her father.