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    Dan88's Avatar
    Dan88 Posts: 2, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Mar 6, 2010, 05:56 PM
    How do I know if my girlfriend likes someone else
    I've been with my girlfriend for nearly two years.we live quite far away from each other but we to see each other as much as we can.recently I found out that her ex boyfriend has been chating to her via Facebook and I know that he's asked her out on a couple of occasions.I do trust her and she says that she loves me and isn't interested in this guy.but why won't she make it clear to him that she not interested?in the back of my mind I have a horrible feeling that she is telling me lies and it's only a matter of time before goes back to this guy.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 6, 2010, 06:20 PM

    While I understand your fear, given you aren't there to see what's going on first hand, I see no point in even being with someone your scared to trust.

    You have been with her for two years, and all of a sudden your worried about an ex?

    If you trust her, then trust her enough to handle her business the way she sees fit, and don't sweat the things you have no control over, or give her a reason not to trust you, by being insecure or immature.

    She said don't worry, so don't, especially if all you have is a Facebook comment to go on.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2010, 06:32 PM
    If you trust her, you would let her do her thing and take her word for it when she says that she's not interested.

    However, seems like you don't trust her word. You're right in the sense that if she wasn't interested in getting back with him, she wouldn't jepordize her current relationship with you.

    You can let her know how you feel about her communications with her ex, but you can't tell her what to do.
    AlwysConfezzled's Avatar
    AlwysConfezzled Posts: 42, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 6, 2010, 06:42 PM

    Oh, take it from a girl who is just out to help. It can mean many things that she just isn't telling ex that she isn't intresed. It depends on the personality of both of them, and how they combine. First off, if the guy has a temper, no girl wants to tell him she isn't intrested. Next, if she is sweet, she won't tell him, she could fear hurting him. But, if she is the kind of girl who would lie, she could be stringing you along. And no, I'm not trying to insult your girl, but the best you can do is chat with her. Comunication is key.
    Larken85's Avatar
    Larken85 Posts: 696, Reputation: 146
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    #5

    Mar 6, 2010, 08:14 PM

    I would say you have no choice but to trust her. Don't turn a blind eye, but don't try to control her actions. A controlling hand from far away is much to easy and tempting to get away from.
    You want to keep her, trust her. If you see too many signs, it would tell me to get out. Its your judgment call.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #6

    Mar 6, 2010, 08:36 PM
    You can't know if she likes her ex - she may in fact like him, but she's not interested in him - there is a difference!

    It's your insecurities that are wreaking havoc in your own mind - but unless you have other proof that something else is going on - you have to do what everyone else is saying... trust her.

    I might add, if you keep making a fuss, you may well create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Focus on your relationship with her (not her relationhsip with him) and see her as often as you can. You're the one she's with so make your time together worth the distance!
    Dan88's Avatar
    Dan88 Posts: 2, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Mar 7, 2010, 05:22 AM

    Thank you for all your replys.you have helped me to see things I couldn't:)I love her to bits and I shall let deal with in her own way.
    good man's Avatar
    good man Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Aug 21, 2012, 05:04 AM
    I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 months.we live quite far away from each other but we to see each other as much as we can.recently I found out that her ex boyfriend has been talking to her through the phone .I do trust her and she says that she loves me and isn't interested in this guy.but why won't she make it clear to him that she not interested?in the back of my mind I have a horrible feeling that she is telling me lies and it's only a matter of time before goes back to this guy.

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