My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and majority of the time we have a great relationship. However, in the last 6 or so months we have been going through periods where he makes me feel like he doesn't even want to be around me.
We work completely different schedules, he works mornings and I work over nights 8-16 hour shifts... So during the week we only get to see each other after he gets off work (if I'm not still asleep or out doing errans or visiting my mom.)
I look forward to my days off and spending quality time together and finding new things to do, etc. . But recently, he ALWAYS has something else to do! Or something to fix for the landlord or work or something with his friends (which of whom are the neighbors 20 feet away and other people located in the intermediate neighborhood-so they're ALWAYS stopping by.. Which is soooo annoying!! )
I don't mind him having friends or going out with them, having fun, and having a life besides me, because I have my own life as well and like to go out for "girls night" every other Friday and am in every other sense independent as they come.

I never get a whole day or even 4 hours of him to myself, unless were watching a movie-which doesn't count.
Our sex life- lol "sex life" is horrible! When We actually do have sex its great, but far and few between the times. Maybe 2-3x a month! (I'm 24 he's 34 but it feels like he's 90 and I'm 16.)
He will occausionally tell me that he will be sure to make more time for us to spend actual quality time, but that never happens.

This is such a blow to myself esteem and much of the time I spend alone or doing something solo-while he's with his friends.
I know he loves me and dose show it in other ways but I don't feel important to him in any other way than a roommate.

We have talked about this before, and for a few days after it will be fine but then eventually we'll end up back in this rutt. I don't want him to think I want to be his whole world or come off clingy. I just miss my boyfriend and hate feeling like there's something wrong.
=(

Sounds as though he is taking advatage of your tolerance. You could as him if he would be willing to make a set night for friends. Just like you have with your girlgriends. He must realize that he has a much better schedule for socialization than you.
As far as your sex life, or lack there of it, he should know that you have needs. Do you ask him for sex, and he turns you down? Or do you wait for him to be in the mood?
Is he on any medications that lessen his labito?
Could there be something going on you wouldn't know about? (I just ask that because It sounds like you don't have the same friends in common.)

Thanks for the reply, you pointed some stuff out that made perfect sense! And questions I didn't even think about. .

Yes, he dose take medications and pain pills quite regular; and, this didn't even dawn on me because, I was putting so much concentration on him being a "ing who takes me for granted" that OBVIOUS questions didn't have a chance to cross my mind.
(He use to be a Pro Cage fighter, had a brief career in law inforcement and is a military Vet.), so its not uncommon for him to be poppin pills for a few piror ow wees.(gosh, I can't spell today, excuse that.)
Which in that case I do understand, being a Marine myself and working as CNA in the cilivian world, it's a bad combination for acute pain.
(I know, for me when I take pain pills I have absolutely no desire to have sex or even masterbate.)
Sticking to that subject, I am embarrassed to say that I NEVER know when he in the mood.. EVER!
I try and test the waters with him, when I'm in the mood-which normally is every time I'm breathing! And give suttle hints to see if he will take the bait.
Like a massage, touching his lower body, nibbiling his neck or his other "hot spots", sitting on his lap and kissing him, walking around naked between rooms or wearing something sexy but over the top come me wear- or whatever else I can think of at the time.. . MAJORITY of the time I get an excuse, oh I have heartburn, my stomach hurts, I have a headache, I'm tired, ill be right back I'm going to go smoke a bowl, my back hurts, I'm hungry, I'm going to go outside and read for awhile, or one of his friends will drop by, blah, blah, blah.. .
That in its self is so irritating because without directly saying it, its his way of turning me down.
(In few cases, later on when he's in the mood, after turning me down earlier, he will try and make a move. But by then, I'm still stewing about putting myself out there and being rejected, that its just a bad combination to be near me.
So, recently I've just stopped trying and spend all my time sleeping or at my moms, working extra shifts and just going about it like we really are roommates.
But this revolution came about AFTER.)

As for his friends, that's another story- its not that I don't like them, they're just not really my crowd and the only thing we have in common is my boyfriend.
Maybe its just me, but I have high standards for people I associate with and if someone's fails to meet these standards then my attitude towards them just stays on the surface, with conversations like: "hi, how are you?"
However, he can get along with anyone! He can meet someone randomly walking down the street, strik up a conversation and still be friends ten years later.
He gets along great with my friends, which is cool but I don't force them upon him or pressure him to hang out with us, like I feel he dose to me. I've expressed to him that I'm uncomfortable and flat out do not like and can not stand a few of them.
He is like the go to guy, which sometimes even gets on his nerves, he's a great problem solver and very "worldly"-for other people and THEIR relationships and lives, yet while he's off fixing everyone else problems. Except ours.
(And like I said, this has come up before, and he's always like, I defend and help those who can not help and defend themselves aka his friends and their girlfriends and their problems.. . )

I hope I explained everything, sorry so long and thank you very much for even just reading it! I really appreciate it! =]

Thanks for the reply, you pointed some stuff out that made perfect sense! And questions I didn't even think about. .

Yes, he dose take medications and pain pills quite regular; and, this didn't even dawn on me because, I was putting so much concentration on him being a "ing who takes me for granted" that OBVIOUS questions didn't have a chance to cross my mind.
(He use to be a Pro Cage fighter, had a brief career in law inforcement and is a military Vet.), so its not uncommon for him to be poppin pills for a few piror ow wees.(gosh, I can't spell today, excuse that.)
Which in that case I do understand, being a Marine myself and working as CNA in the cilivian world, it's a bad combination for acute pain.
(I know, for me when I take pain pills I have absolutely no desire to have sex or even masterbate.)
Sticking to that subject, I am embarrassed to say that I NEVER know when he in the mood.. EVER!
I try and test the waters with him, when I'm in the mood-which normally is every time I'm breathing! And give suttle hints to see if he will take the bait.
Like a massage, touching his lower body, nibbiling his neck or his other "hot spots", sitting on his lap and kissing him, walking around naked between rooms or wearing something sexy but over the top come me wear- or whatever else I can think of at the time.. . MAJORITY of the time I get an excuse, oh I have heartburn, my stomach hurts, I have a headache, I'm tired, ill be right back I'm going to go smoke a bowl, my back hurts, I'm hungry, I'm going to go outside and read for awhile, or one of his friends will drop by, blah, blah, blah.. .
That in its self is so irritating because without directly saying it, its his way of turning me down.
(In few cases, later on when he's in the mood, after turning me down earlier, he will try and make a move. But by then, I'm still stewing about putting myself out there and being rejected, that its just a bad combination to be near me.
So, recently I've just stopped trying and spend all my time sleeping or at my moms, working extra shifts and just going about it like we really are roommates.
But this revolution came about AFTER.)

As for his friends, that's another story- its not that I don't like them, they're just not really my crowd and the only thing we have in common is my boyfriend.
Maybe its just me, but I have high standards for people I associate with and if someone's fails to meet these standards then my attitude towards them just stays on the surface, with conversations like: "hi, how are you?"
However, he can get along with anyone! He can meet someone randomly walking down the street, strik up a conversation and still be friends ten years later.
He gets along great with my friends, which is cool but I don't force them upon him or pressure him to hang out with us, like I feel he dose to me. I've expressed to him that I'm uncomfortable and flat out do not like and can not stand a few of them.
He is like the go to guy, which sometimes even gets on his nerves, he's a great problem solver and very "worldly"-for other people and THEIR relationships and lives, yet while he's off fixing everyone else problems. Except ours.
(And like I said, this has come up before, and he's always like, I defend and help those who can not help and defend themselves aka his friends and their girlfriends and their problems.. . )

I hope I explained everything, sorry so long and thank you very much for even just reading it! I really appreciate it! =]

Sorry, does he work now? Just asking because he sounds like he has turned to: smoking pot, popping pills, and hanging out with seedy people next door instead of spending time with you. Or has he always been that type?
Also, you stated you would like some 'quality' time with him. From experience, I can tell you, there will be no quality to be had. Sorry, this is what kind of life users tend to have.

Yes, he works, um a little too much-owns his own business part time and is a maintence department head and dose side projects for the landlord.. .
Um, yes he's very much set in his ways and has been like this since I met him.
I didn't expect him to change or give things up or had false expectations and its not always like this, we go through periods of this distant non sense.

I don't know if its just something that will pass or I should lay all out on the line or I don't know. . He's only the second relationship I've ever had, so I'm pretty naïve or at loss of what to do.
I'm not going to sacifice myself worth for him. But if there a different way of approaching this to salvage our relationship, I would at least like to try before throwing in the towel.

Yeah I retract that "quality time" statement, I just meant his undivided attention for a reasonable time frame.

Thank you, :]