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    8567386's Avatar
    8567386 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 6, 2009, 08:21 PM
    He really broke my heart. I don't know what to do. It's killing me inside.
    We were together for two years and three months. He was the very best part of my life and the love we had for each other had no limit. When we were together the words 'breaking up' didn't exist to me because I knew me and him were always going to be together, but I was wrong.


    He broke up with me a week ago. Actually it was more like he dumped me than anything else. We were in a minor fight, but I knew something was wrong when he had ignored me the entire weekend. When I had finally saw him in school I asked him what was up. He just said it was over and didn't even bother to look at me.


    At first I was confused because even though I heard the words I wasn't able to take them in. I asked him why? What was wrong? He just told me he wanted to be alone, that he wanted to focus and graduating this year and preparing for collage, than he said he didn't want to have to worry about me cheating on him.



    It's been a week and nothing had gotten better. He acts like noothing has happened. Every time I see him in the halls at school or at lunch he just smiles at me or tries to have a simple conversation. It bothers me because I think he's really over me.

    He really broke my heart when he told me it was over.

    When I don't talk to him at all(no text, Facebook, etc) he'll start talking to me asking me what I am doing, but when I start talking to him he just becomes distant.


    Also He always ask me where I'm going on the weekend and if I talk to any guys. I don't understand! Why would he want to know.



    Please someone, anyone out there could you please give me advice on what to do? I want him back. It's still not over for me and I know there is hope left. I just need some advice, even if it hurts, I would like to hear the truth.
    troy70's Avatar
    troy70 Posts: 66, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Oct 6, 2009, 08:27 PM

    It will be hard but you need to move on. Your still in high school? You've yet to even begin to fathom the possibilities of a relationship in this crazy world. He's clearly not mature enough for a relationship. Read the NC stickies and take the high road over this kid.

    Good luck.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Oct 6, 2009, 09:22 PM

    Please read my break up guide below...
    Take a deep breath... life has more in store for you once you step back and realize that every fiber of your being is actually NOT controlled by your ex. He is making a life decision, for now - it may be right or wrong - but trying to control him will only make it worse for both of you.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #4

    Oct 6, 2009, 09:41 PM

    The Dumpee never sees it coming and the Dumper tends to seem to move on at an astonishing rate compared to them.

    The reality is he has been thinking about this for a while and the emotional dust has settled for him , so the best thing to do is give him some space . Not easy I know but if you pursue him at this point it will just push him away further. Not just that but you will start losing your dignity by acting like a sick little puppy willing to do anything to get him back.

    Give him the space , he may just then start to miss you , if not then it's not meant to be.

    And read the material on this forum and you'll get a better perspective of how it all works and has worked for other people in your position. You'll realise your not alone.

    Good Luck!
    8567386's Avatar
    8567386 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 11, 2009, 12:24 AM

    Thanks for the advice. Actually I have to admit what most of everyone says is right, though the thought of moving on right now does hurt a lot
    azif's Avatar
    azif Posts: 96, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Oct 11, 2009, 01:26 AM

    It's a process, one step at a time
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Oct 11, 2009, 02:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 8567386 View Post
    Thanks for the advice. Actually I have to admit what most of everyone says is right, though the thought of moving on right now does hurt alot
    It's perfectly normal to feel this way , breakups are never easy for the Dumpee but you can make it easier by accepting that it's over and going complete No Contact. That will make the healing process a lot easier and fast track you to a better place a lot quicker,

    Read the stickies at the top of the forum to give you some insight on how to do this.

    Good Luck!
    normalgirl's Avatar
    normalgirl Posts: 8, Reputation: 4
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    #8

    Nov 7, 2009, 11:30 PM

    My ex and I broke up like about four months ago because he left town, it was hard at first and on time it got better. Though I kissed other guys and did stupid stuff like calling, texting or emailing him, I finally made it through. The most hurting thing was that two weeks after he left, he told me (cz we kept on being friens, which is actually not so bad, but I don't recommend it if you're not over the relationship.) that he was seeing this other girl he met on his new town.

    My first reaction was really fake because he told me on msn, so I prettended to be just fine. Two weeks later he came for a visit and we went out with our friends and when we were alone in his car I couldn't help it but tell him the true.

    So I did and he told me he didn't love me anymore, you can imagine my face when he did. I felt awful. After he left I called him and told him that this time I was going to take him out of my life for a while because I wasn't ready yet. We didn't speak for like a month and I felt better. Though I kept knowing all about his relationship with her through Facebook.



    Anyway, I finally felt better, but come on, I had to go through so much! I know it hurts but breakups are so much easier than what they seem. So, I've selected what I call easy steps that might help you not only to finally get over the relationship but to show your ex you're fine with him having a new girlfriend.



    1. Don't: call him, text, or Skype, msn, Facebook, Hi5, etc. Really try to cut off contact. I know this is hard, believe me, I do, we had a really long relationship (actually the longest one I ever had) . Especially because you're used to a rutine next to this person, so this is the only way to move on.

    2. Try: to keep the best memories, who wants hard feelings anyway? Better think of the relationship as a good thing that had to end eventually. Though you know that if it ended, whatever the reason was, you are always off for a new and better start. This might sound like a cliché but believe me, you so diserve bettter.

    3. DON'T, really DON'T kiss or sleep with other guys just to make you feel beter or for revenge. This is the most "anti-helpful" thing you can do and here are two simple reasons why: First, you are giving for free everything to a guy you don't care about and who probably doesn't care about you either. And last, your ex is going to find out and this are your chances: he might feel dissapointed of you and think about you as a and that's for sure something you don't want; he also will think (which is true, most of the time at least, because guys have such a huge ego) that you're doing this just to get back at him and he'll feel like he's the most important thing in your life.

    4. Stop: thinking about getting over the breakup. This might sound crazy, but believe me, as soon as you stop thinking about getting over him, you will. Because, you are giving too much importance about getting over it that you're not.

    5. Talk: When you really feel like you can talk to him, if you stayed friends offcourse, and you feel okay with the fact that he might (like just happened to me) tell you about how he told her he loved her or whatever thing about his new girl, go ahead talk to him. Men think they are so important in our lives that we can't face things without them or even face them. Well a true fact is that if you show him you're fine, and by showing I don't mean telling him "Hey, I'm doing fine!" nooo, I mean show him you've learned from the breakup and that there's no reason why not to stay friends. As well let him know that you actually think his new girlfriend is really pretty (this might sound as the craziest thing ever, but it worked for me). This way you'll show him that you are totally fine with it.



    Well, that's it. I really hope that this works for someone. I wrote it because I made all this mistakes in the past and I didn't find anyone who will actually tell me some sort of steps for free and the books or online guidance or whatever had a price. So this is completely uninterested help. I'm not going to charge you for reading it, haha, I just hope to read some of your stories, opinions and suggestions. Maybe in this way we can help each other.

    And last but not least, 6. Remmember: though you made a lot for mistakes there's always time to show that you're doing fine. I'm sure you're a hottie, don't let anyone tell you either, but that's not the only thing. You're a great and smart girl. So what if he found a new girl, in time and with no pressure you'll find another guy as well, who believe me will make you happier.
    normalgirl's Avatar
    normalgirl Posts: 8, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #9

    Nov 9, 2009, 09:20 PM

    Hope it worked! :D

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