I'm 17 and I've been a cutter since I was about 12... this year I started taking sleeping pills to kill myself nothing works... I hate my life I hate myself I want to die so bad... I feel alone... I'm stupid I'm retarded I can't do anything rite... I'm a up... I had a messed up life and it is continuing... I keep thinking I had enuf I've bin tortured enuf... imy mom is around bt not around me... my dad doesn't even claim me I don't have 1 single friend. I swear I cry myself 2 sleep... n sometimes I don't even sleep... I'm stupid... I get mad and I hit myself I don't know why I just can control it I don't want to hit myself... when I cry I can't breath... I hate myself and I hate my life I just want to die... I just want to die... I'm tired of faking happiness... ders none there... I hate how I look I hate me... I have such an attitude and I don't want it... I want to be nice... I want to be pretty... people tell me all the time I'm so pretty but I don't feel it... I'm ready to let everything go... things I've been trying obviously don't work... I have stupid scars for no reason because none of them went deep enuf I'm ready for it... bt something is telln me nt to I just need help... I pt it all out there

Have you gone to a doctors about this- I say you do that! You need to tell your parents, have they not noticed the scars?

You need help IMMEDIATELY!


Sarah

What is it that bothers you so much that you want to kill yourself?

Because you don't think your pretty? Guess what, today's society no one's pretty. Everyone gets called ugly, even Marilyn Monroe was called ugly. Why are you so worried about being pretty? Where did this start? Who planted this seed?

If you hate your body so much do something about it. Cutting yourself WILL just leave you with marks-- why do this if you feel your not pretty? It makes no sense. You want to get thinner, eat better, do exercise. Popping pills won't make you feel better about yourself.

If you want to be nice than be nice-- HOLD your tongue.

What is the root of this?
Were you molested as a child?
Abused?

Why do you want to kill yourself-- because of vanity?


Sarah

I do the same thing.. its horrible I just want to die already

In fact you sound exactly the same as me you're not alone

Why do you want to die?


Sarah

I was raped when I was younger... but I'm not saying I hate my body my body doesn't bother me it when I'm looking around I feel like I'm ugly compared to others... I'm 135 lbs I'm nt big... I gess its easier to read than to live it

Get help. Don't hurt yourself even more.

Get stronger. Not weaker.


Don't let HIM win. Don't let HIM take over you.

Not for another year. Not for another day. Not for another hour.

You want change then CHANGE.

If you keep doing what your doing then you'll keep getting what you've been getting.


Life is tough, but does that mean we should be weak and let the things that happen in our life take over us- I think NOT.

You DO need help. If you don't confront this you will ALWAYS feel this way-- no matter how many pills you take, no matter how many times you cut yourself.

How is killing yourself going to solve anything? You want to feel better then get better. Dying will just terminate you-- and the guy who took your innocence will also have taken your life away from you.

You'll be dead. That'll be the end. No more living.

Wouldn't you rather SOLVE your issue than to die and have the issue win you over?


Sarah

Its hard... its really hard I try 2 look at it that way but its so tiring... I want someone 2 help me. And kind of hold my hand through this but I don't have anyone... and I've gotten help honestly it made it worse. I can't open up to a stranger that gts paid 2 listen...

The only person that can get you through this is YOU.

You CANNOT rely on someone to "save" you.

A therapist will guide you!

You are not on your own but only YOU can make the change.

Right now your talking to strangers, your venting your issues that's good! Where do you live? I could help find some hotlines where they can actually assist you with getting help like group counseling.


Don't let another day go by.


Sarah

Hello, I don't really have the answer for your question but would love to offer something, my life was crap growing up, we had no food, my parents were drunks and never paid any attention to us, kids made fun of us because we were so poor and went to school without even so much as a pencil, I had bad teeth, big ears and basically was embarresed all the time, I never graduated from high school because I never finished a single grade in my life, my parents moved us around all the time and then got divorced when I was just about 10. My point is please reconsider what your thinking of doing! I turned out so much better than one would think, and the reason is only because I said the hell with this, I'm not going to end up the way I'm feeling I should! There is so much to do, please don't give up.:)

Thank u... I really didn't think anyone would help... or care... thank you a lot... I live in fort lauderdale Florida

I'm 19 and about to be homeless. I don't have a dime to my name. My family gave up on me and aren't going to help me anymore. I have mental illness and don't know what to do. I can't even get health insurance for medication which is giving me an alcohol and drug abuse problem. I'm doing things I don't even know why and have no one to help me. I dropped out of school cause I couldn't handle being made fun of, & I'm now working on getting my diploma and am almost done but with the way I'm feeling and behaving who knows if I can go through with it.

No where will hire me. I don't even have a car to live in. I'm basically worthless right now.

And my arms are covered in ugly scars that everyone loves to point out and ask about... & I have no friends.

Pretty pittyful

Thanks a lot... I have hurd anything positive in so long... it really feels good

May I be your friend

This is a suicide hotline. It's free. Open 24/7. Ask them for any community groups that can help your out like group counseling and meetings. I am sure they will be able to assist. Also talking on the phone, I feel, is a lot more helpful than it would be to type in words onto a computer.

1-800-784-2433



I'm called a teen hotline for you, they gave me this number:

954-765-5031
Sexual assault and abuse trauma center. They will help you!

Keep us posted :)


Sarah

Both of you need to know there is help! Change is not out of reach, if your broke, so what! Walk into a center and demand help and you will get it no matter what, I know this because I work in one, but I do not work in patient care and I'm not qualified in that field but I'm a person who has had a hard life and will help any way I can. Ask me a question

Why would you want to die? You have no idea what's waiting on the other end...

You know what's here in this world and it can be fixed

What did your therapist say about your cutting?
What methods have they told you to do to help stop this behaviour?
I have my opinions on the pills but I will keep them to myself...

What are some things you do like about yourself?
Can you draw? Write poetry or music? Good at doing puzzles? Computer games?

Nobody is comepletely hopeless, even "retarded" people have their talents, it is offensive to them to consider yourself in this category because you think you are 'stupid'

This... to me... sounds like a typical whinging teenager...
The world hates you, you hate the world blah blah balh.
What have YOU done to FIX the problem?
Nothing I bet?

Join a sporting club, or hobby group, even volunteering... I know it's not exactly most peoples taste but when I was younger I used to go to dog shows with my parents... there were lots of other kids my age that went as well and I made some new friends... you can do the same with any club, you just have to actually TRY.


I will not quote the rest as honestly it is incoherant dribble...

You do not truly want to kill yourself, I can tell you that as a FACT. There are many indicators from your post alone.

What you do need to do is get help...
Whether it be preofessional or self help you need to do something rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

Try volunteering at a homeless shelter... that usually puts things into perspective for people... you realise how LUCKY you are to even have parents and a home and trust me, your life will seem like heaven compared to a lot of people out there.

You could volunteer at somewhere like an animal shelter, there are lots of caring, great people to meet and befriend...

Sporting groups are fun.. you can play a game and work on your team skills... you are FORCED to work as a team and therefore you begin to learn how to work well with others.

I don't feel sorry for myself... because no matter what I always know that there is somebody in worse situations than me. And I don't whine because I don't tell anyone what goes on in my head... no body knows. I don't go around telling everyone so that people can show me attention and feel bad... and I have over 400 of volunteer hours so I do get around and see others and the way they live but that doesn't mean I can't feel the way I do... you don't know me... you don't know what I've been through or any of that you only know what I've written but there's more... I had to be out of school for a year and a half because we were living out of a car and taking showers in the community pool area so If you want to comment try to comment on the things that are here and not things you don't know about please and thank u