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teresa green · Sep 18, 2009, 04:46 AM

I'm young and I have a boyfriend 3 years older, we split for about 3 months and we've been back together for 2 weeks now. We're both trying really hard to not let the things that broke us up before do it again. We always fought, and he always admitted to being the one in the wrong. I always just tried teaching him how to be a good boyfriend and to do the right thing and not be inconsiderate as he is. He acts very immature sometimes and can be very inconsiderate and this seems to make me very very angry and upset, even the smallest things. I love him so much but I truly don't know how to make things better. I try to have patience to talk about it so he doesn't do it again but it always happens and I'm running out of patience. I need major relationship advice to at least guide me and help me with how to deal with these kind of siyuations please?

kctiger · Sep 18, 2009, 06:14 AM

9 times out of 10 a break up happens for a reason, that reason here being your boyfriend and you aren't on the same page. He hasn't changed, isn't making significant trying to change and it is once again killing your relationship.

What exactly does he do that bothers you? You seem to want to mold him into your ideal man, which may be a bad move to begin with.

J_9 · Sep 18, 2009, 06:20 AM

Teresa, maybe it's time to look inside yourself so that you can find out what is making you unhappy.

You can't change a person. If he's not what you like, you aren't going to change him. Don't even try, it will never be as perfect as you want it.

I always just tried teaching him how to be a good boyfriend and to do the right thing and not be inconsiderate as he is.

He is who he is. If you don't like it, it's time to move on.

I wish · Sep 18, 2009, 07:22 AM

Relationships are about being attracted to the other person naturally. I'm sure you have a certain image of what type of guy you want him to be, but if there are so many things about him that you want to change, so how is he a good match for you? He doesn't have what you want, so why force things?

talaniman · Sep 18, 2009, 10:28 AM

How old are you? Sometimes we try so hard to stay with someone we are not compatible with, or don't have the skills, or tools, to deal with someone else's ways, or habits.

Don't try and force it, take a break, and see what your own issues are, and what you can do about yourself, and YOUR actions.

Only after we know someone, do we know if we can get along with them, And I don't read that here, just you trying to change him, and getting frustrated, because you can't.

artlady · Sep 18, 2009, 10:55 AM

You must have realistic expectations in any relationship.

Some things you have to accept at face value,knowing you can't change them.

If you are always fighting and finding fault with him,maybe he just isn't the guy for you.

Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic.

Just because he admits to always being in the wrong,does not mean he is.

It could just be a tactic to get the argument over with.

Bottom line in many relationships is ,do you always want to be right or be happy?

Some things just aren't worth fussing about!

Gemini54 · Sep 18, 2009, 09:03 PM

Good relationships are about communication, compromise and acceptance. You can't make someone what YOU want them to be - even thought you may be young, this is something it is never too early to learn.

It sounds, like kctiger says, as if you're on different pages. What's the point of being in a relationship if you fight all the time? Or, if you're unhappy.

If you genuinely want to stay together, try listening to what he has to say and back off from telling him what to do. Try talking about what makes you fight and take responsibility for your part in it.

If you can't accept him the way he is, perhaps it's time to move on.

zippit · Sep 18, 2009, 09:13 PM

Teresa green;
We always fought, and he always
I always
It always happens and I'm running out of patience.

Hi teresa

One of the first things I learned in dealing with my relationships was to drop the word ALWAYS,because there never is a ALWAYS in a relationship.
You can be sure of one thing people including you and him are ALWAYS changing
I'm not trying to pick on you in anyway just wanted to share that with you