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BeeBopN · Jul 30, 2009, 11:56 PM

So I like my best friend, but I'm afraid things won't work out because she loves to dance. I know she likes me too because her friend told me. I'm fun and energetic whenever I'm around her and I guess she loves that. But when it comes to the dance floor, I freeze. I don't like dancing, and honestly I think it's wrong for someone to force you do to something that you don't like and won't try. You can say I'm a party pooper when it comes to dancing, I don't care. But I hate how dancing will win a girl's heart. She knows I don't like to dance. And I think that's a real big problem. I've been crushing on this girl for a while. I don't mind her dancing with other guys, can't do anything about it anyway, so I lose every chance on the dance floor.

Meh, I feel like if you don't like to/cant dance, then you have a big problem. Prom is so far but will come by very soon. I don't know what to do. I really feel like dancing is the only way to win a girl's heart because its attracts more attention. I don't know. Help me.

I'm pretty sure there's nothing I can do though, unless you have something in mind.

taoplr · Jul 31, 2009, 12:13 AM

It's an unnecessary problem. You are boxing yourself in. If you want this girl, learn how to dance. Once you know how, you might surprise yourself and have a great time.

Don't wait! Do it!

Tao

Torrid13 · Jul 31, 2009, 12:15 AM

If she doesn't want to be with you because you can't dance, maybe she's not worth it anyway.

taoplr · Jul 31, 2009, 12:20 AM

Originally Posted by Torrid13

If she doesn't want to be with you because you can't dance, maybe she's not worth it anyway.

This girl is not that important. This is what's important:

"I feel like if you don't like to/cant dance, then u have a big problem. prom is so far but will come by very soon. i don't know what to do. i really feel like dancing is the only way to win a girl's heart because its attracts more attention. idk. help me"

He might free himself by learning to dance. It won't hurt him.

Tao

BeeBopN · Jul 31, 2009, 12:26 AM

Uhh. I've tried to dance. Nothing works. Last winter formal I went to, my date and my friends laughed at me. Yeaaah.

I heard that dancing disabilities leads to depression. Yup its working haha. And this girl loves to party as well, like freaking and grinding. Not my thing.

mudweiser · Jul 31, 2009, 12:27 AM

I know the feeling.

I can't dance. I do it alone. The only public dancing I've ever done was either a) under the influence of alcohol b) Cheerleading [a long time ago].

Like Torrid said "If she doesn't want to be with you because you can't dance, maybe she's not worth it anyway."

However, let her know it makes you feel uncomfortable and HOW it makes you feel. Don't just say "No I hate dancing". If you were into.. "painting" and she said "No, I hate painting" -- it would sort of turn you off, because it's your passion.

This also give you the chance to let her teach you privately;)

Tell her, I'm not a good dancer, I freeze up in public-- maybe sometime we can dance alone and you can show me how.
Also, be positive about it. Don't get frustrated or angry if you make a mistake-- laugh it off. Make it fun. Make it memorable.

Take your weakness as an advantage to win her over.

Good luck.

Sarah

Torrid13 · Jul 31, 2009, 12:30 AM

Dancing disabilities lead to depression?

I've never heard that, but I'm sure if someone dwells on something they don't feel good at, and obsesses over it, then yeah, I can see that happening.

Who is she freaking and grinding with? If it's other guys, I would just keep her as a friend. Anyway, you don't have to like everything she does. In a relationship, no two people are exactly alike. Maybe you like/are good at something she's not?

BeeBopN · Jul 31, 2009, 12:35 AM

Lol I made that up torrid. I just feel I'm uncoordinated when it comes to dancing and I can't move my body. But I'm not really uncoordinated.

All I know that makes me happy is being, flirting, hugging, laughing, teasing her with her. We can pretty much do anything else, except dancing haha.

Torrid13 · Jul 31, 2009, 12:37 AM

Originally Posted by BeeBopN

lol i made that up torrid. i just feel im uncoordinated when it comes to dancing and i can't move my body. but im not really uncoordinated.

all i know that makes me happy is being, flirting, hugging, laughing, teasing her with her. we can pretty much do anything else, except dancing haha.

Next time please be more specific. Ballroom dancing is quite different from freaking and grinding. That's basically sex with your clothes on.

Then I don't see why you can't be together. You're psyching yourself out with this whole dancing thing.

BeeBopN · Jul 31, 2009, 12:40 AM

Yeah I guess you're right. But dances such as prom has both if you know what I mean. Depending on the songs that are being played. And most likely the dances I go to are always related to freaking and dancing. And there will always be a slow song for the ballroom dancing I guess.

Chey5782 · Jul 31, 2009, 12:40 AM

That's a pretty self conscious stance. You should try asking her to dance and then dance SO BADLY she laughs and never expects you to do it again. I do things I am not good at ALL THE TIME. But if I can have fun doing it I don't mind. Be more open minded and less self conscious, learn to laugh about dancing and it will be a LOT more fun when you do bother to try it once in a while. I can't dance at all or sing, but I do both freely and hope to god no one gets kicked or goes deaf. Be fearless! Rawr!

Gemini54 · Jul 31, 2009, 12:58 AM

Originally Posted by Chey5782

That's a pretty self conscious stance. You should try asking her to dance and then dance SO BADLY she laughs and never expects you to do it again. I do things I am not good at ALL THE TIME. But if I can have fun doing it I don't mind. Be more open minded and less self conscious, learn to laugh about dancing and it will be a LOT more fun when you do bother to try it once in a while. I can't dance at all or sing, but I do both freely and hope to god no one gets kicked or goes deaf. Be fearless! rawr!

Had to spread the rep Chey, but great answer! Yea! My hubby used to be all funny about dancing - he said that I laughed at him once when he was dancing a million years ago and so it's my fault he doesn't dance anymore (yea, right). Anyway a couple of month ago we go to a function and a band is playing and he gets on the dance floor and he's Mr John Travolta!

When I asked him what happened, he just said - 'I stopped worrying about it'.

There's your advice BeeBopN!

Chey5782 · Jul 31, 2009, 01:03 AM

That reminds me of the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when his wife finds out he COULD actually do laundry. He was telling his buddy that she asked him to do it once and he did it SO BADLY she never asked him again. But she overheard and the whole episode was her giving him hell and questioning what else he had done that about.

I laughed my butt off.

CFZD · Jul 31, 2009, 08:10 AM

OP,

Let me tell you something. I also LOVE to dance, especially with guys. If I am interested in a guy I would suggest going out to dance. Most guys ( deep inside of them) hate to dance, I know it clearly. If he makes an effort to go, I greatly appreciate it. Whether he is a good dancer or not, guess what? I prefer the one doesn't know how to dance!

The rule of this game is participating only. Women can be intimitated by men who dance well, we tend to assume he is a player! :D

spitvenom · Jul 31, 2009, 08:27 AM

I don't dance never have. I Never had a problem getting girls. Chey is right saying you don't dance will just have her asking you more to dance. Showing her you can't dance you only have to do it once.