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xterdferguson · Jul 18, 2009, 04:11 PM

My girlfriend of almost 6 months says she doesn't know if she feels the same way about me anymore. She has been gone for a little bit and we were fine when she first left. Then a few days before she was supposed to come back she started acting different towards me. She says she needs a break from us until she gets back. I text her and I can't even get her to talk, she will answer me with one word answers and when I try to get into things she gets mad and defensive and says she isn't talking about it right now. I love her with all my heart but hearing her say she is questioning us really hurts. I don't know what to do. She is amazing but this caught me off guard because up until this point we have had no problems. What do I do? I don't want to lose her, but I want to go back to how we were before.

Alty · Jul 18, 2009, 04:14 PM

You can't force someone to love you, no matter how much you love them.

She asked for a break, so give her one. Leave her alone, stop texting, go to no contact and then live your life.

Good luck.

talaniman · Jul 18, 2009, 04:43 PM

You have already lost her, now leave her alone, that's what you do. Sorry her feelings have changed.

I wish · Jul 18, 2009, 04:58 PM

If she had a change of heart, you can't do anything about it.

She asked for space, so respect her wishes. The more you pressure her to talk to her, the more you push her away.

If she comes back to you, then great, but realistically, it's time to start moving on with your life.

0EntitY · Jul 18, 2009, 05:34 PM

Sometimes a guy has to become an actor. Evey answer here is top quality and very true. Being an actor you pretend that all is well and she is doing the right thing. You never contact her or agree to, but instead bypass this with cleverness. You have to out-fox the fox here. When she does contact you and she will, you set a mystery up for her by side stepping her questions and really sounding like everything is cool. You can even act a little distant like you have other things going on. You can get good at this and it gives you purpose instead of feeling sorry for yourself. You can take control here if you decide too...

xterdferguson · Jul 18, 2009, 05:39 PM

What do you mean I can take control?

talaniman · Jul 18, 2009, 05:44 PM

You take control by getting your own life without her, and being happy with the life you build for yourself. No matter what she says, or does, she dumped you remember?

xterdferguson · Jul 18, 2009, 05:49 PM

she didn't say it was over, she said she just wanted to take a break from like talking all day, I forgot to mention that. She said she wants to talk when she gets back but and she still will text me throughout the day randomly, just not all day everyday like it used to be.

jmjoseph · Jul 18, 2009, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

she didnt say it was over, she said she just wanted to take a break from like talking all day, i forgot to mention that. she said she wants to talk when she gets back but and she still will text me throughout the day randomly, just not all day everyday like it used to be.

Dude, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but, she's breaking it to you easy-like. Whenever they say they want a break, that's just what it is, a break... up. Don't call, text, e-mail, anything. Go about your life and if things work, they work. Go dress up, go to the mall, and flirt with all the girls you see. It'll help take your mind off things , and let you see that there's more than just one girl out there for you to spend time with. It'll also give you an ego boost. Love gives us our highest highs, and lowest lows. Good luck to you.

talaniman · Jul 18, 2009, 06:35 PM

she didn't say it was over, she said she just wanted to take a break from like talking all day, i forgot to mention that.

Given the responses, now you have new facts?? I don't think so.

she said she wants to talk when she gets back but and she still will text me throughout the day randomly, just not all day everyday like it used to be.

Friendzone, whether you like it or not, that's a demotion.

Look my friend, just leave her alone, that's what she wanted, so make yourself busy, and unavailable for those RANDOM texts.

xterdferguson · Jul 18, 2009, 06:41 PM

I'm not giving up, not this easily, I love her way too much. I want her to be mine.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2009, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

she didnt say it was over, she said she just wanted to take a break from like talking all day, i forgot to mention that. she said she wants to talk when she gets back but and she still will text me throughout the day randomly, just not all day everyday like it used to be.

So it's HER choice when you two text? Isn't that control?

I agree with the others. She has broken up with you already in her head and heart. Do NO Contact and get out into Life again.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2009, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

im not giving up, not this easily, i love her way too much. i want her to be mine.

What you want doesn't matter. She has moved on and is letting you down easy.

jmjoseph · Jul 18, 2009, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

im not giving up, not this easily, i love her way too much. i want her to be mine.

Don't act crazy."I want her to be mine". This sounds too much like an obsession. One day you'll look back on this and say "what was I thinking?". But now you don't see that. You are hurt, like most people are when they find out that they've lost something dear to them. Just concentrate your energy on something productive.

xterdferguson · Jul 18, 2009, 07:03 PM

Its not an obsession, its love, you can say whatever you want but I want some advice to try to help me keep her, cause I'm not giving up. Its not my personality

talaniman · Jul 18, 2009, 07:07 PM

Adjusting your personality is easier than changing her mind.

Wondergirl · Jul 18, 2009, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

its not an obsession, its love, you can say whatever you want but i want some advice to try to help me keep her, cause im not giving up. its not my personality

She's got the ball, and you are no longer in the game. There is absolutely nothing you can do to get back into the game. You're already in the locker room.

jmjoseph · Jul 18, 2009, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by xterdferguson

its not an obsession, its love, you can say whatever you want but i want some advice to try to help me keep her, cause im not giving up. its not my personality

I'm trying to help you. But I see it's no use. NO ONE can TELL you how to keep a woman. It's her choice. And personality has a lot to do with it. You see, our personality is who we are. Good luck to you, I'm through.

IMONTHATMETHING · Jan 18, 2010, 09:08 PM

Me and my girlfriend of 9 months are having the same issue right now,she said she didn't know what she wants and it was making her unhappy.so we ended it and I gave it 5 days or so,may I add,the hardest 5 days I've ever had.then after I gave her the space she needed,I texted her saying no matter what happens I love her and I always will and wished her the best,then a day later we hang out and she misses me and kisses me and we have sex.now it's a week after all that and she still has that gut feeling she doesn't know what she wants.so one thing I've learned from this.step back.let it happen.if its meant to be its going to happen,if not don't let it change you.your your own person,never let one person convince you there's nothing better,you deserve to be happy :)