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smrfun357 · Jun 11, 2007, 02:14 PM

Recently my parents took my 13 year old daughter to the movies with one of her girlfriends. My parents went to a different movie and when there movie was done they checked in on my daughter and caught her making out with a boy. I've already punished her for lying and everything else but now punishment is over and she wants to see him again.
I thought it would be a good idea to have him over. I went in the house for a minute to get dinner and when I looked out the window they were kissing!
I'm not sure what to do, I've told my daughter to be honest with me and she has been, she thought that I understood that they were going to kiss.
At what age is it appropriate for girls to start kissing boys? I remember kissing a boy at 13 but I'm having a really hard time with letting her do it.

kirriky · Jun 11, 2007, 06:21 PM

I guess there's no standard age for that, when my younger brother was 12 he was making out with a girl in the movies and they were deeply in love texting each other every day about how they were 'the best thing that ever happened to me'. And it looked ridiculous to me, especially when I remembered myself at 12.

In any case, you can't forbid her to do it. I mean, you can, but criminalizing this sexual behaviour won't do any of you any good. And it won't prevent her from doing it anyway. Make the best of the trust that you seem to have right now, and start a sensible 'sex-ad' campaign. Find out where she's coming from - are her girlfriends also 'dating' ? And classmates? I remember at this age at school we used to have a lot of sex talk and crazy rumours (or maybe not that crazy.. ) so if you're able to discuss such things with her it can help her develop some correct values and opinions about appropriate sexual behaviour.

Skell · Jun 11, 2007, 06:49 PM

Im not a parent and I dare say I am a little younger than you are. 24. It wasn't that long ago that I was 13 and I can clearly remember that lots of kids were kissing by that age in the playground etc. Im not saying you should approve, I'm just saying that in my opinion it is a pretty common event.

Now if you don't want her too then it is your place as a parent to ask her not to. Policing this will be a different story but you certainly have every reason to disapprove.

I like what kirriky said. Perhaps you can use this situation to educate your daughter about sex etc. She probably is further advanced than you realise in her knowledge of this so don't be afraid that you are opening up a can of worms.

But I think it is important that you get through to her that she should be honest with you and that you won't tolerate her lying. That is a totally different disciplinary issue than the kissing.

For the record I was kissing girls at 13 / 14 and I think I'm okay.

Highway · Jun 11, 2007, 07:12 PM

You have every right to set rules that you deem reasonable and right for your daughter. And you should, as this shows her you will set boundaries for her safety and will always be there for her to fall back on and rely on, and setting boundaries for kids at any age, whether they follow them or not, is a known self esteem builder.

However, enforcing them when you're not around will be next to impossible. They're most likely going to kiss! But as long as your daughter knows WHY you think this behaviour is not good for her at this age, she'll have a little more information on which to base her decisions/choices, which she will do at 13 and from now on.

My mom was a bit lenient to say the least, and I remember always feeling scared and a little out of control with a whole bunch of situations. I know your daughter will feel good about herself and have better self esteem if you have rules- she can have the boy over but no kissing. It may just give her the confidence in herself to set limits when you're not around. Say your peace - she needs to know you care enough to set boundaries. GOOD LUCK.

Ps - "highway" is my hubbies name - I'm on his site.

love is blind · Jun 13, 2007, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by smrfun357

Recently my parents took my 13 year old daughter to the movies with one of her girlfriends. My parents went to a different movie and when there movie was done they checked in on my daughter and caught her making out with a boy. I've already punished her for lying and everything else but now punishment is over and she wants to see him again.
I thought it would be a good idea to have him over. I went in the house for a minute to get dinner and when I looked out the window they were kissing!
I'm not sure what to do, I've told my daughter to be honest with me and she has been, she thought that I understood that they were going to kiss.
At what age is it appropriate for girls to start kissing boys? I remember kissing a boy at 13 but I'm having a really hard time with letting her do it.

What is the kiss like do they use tounges because if not there is nothing to worry about but when they start to use tounges that's when there getting really sexually attrackted and you have to be very cautios

smrfun357 · Jun 13, 2007, 05:58 AM

Thank you all for your help and suggestions!

supermommy25 · Oct 12, 2007, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by smrfun357

Recently my parents took my 13 year old daughter to the movies with one of her girlfriends. My parents went to a different movie and when there movie was done they checked in on my daughter and caught her making out with a boy. I've already punished her for lying and everything else but now punishment is over and she wants to see him again.
I thought it would be a good idea to have him over. I went in the house for a minute to get dinner and when I looked out the window they were kissing!
I'm not sure what to do, I've told my daughter to be honest with me and she has been, she thought that I understood that they were going to kiss.
At what age is it appropriate for girls to start kissing boys? I remember kissing a boy at 13 but I'm having a really hard time with letting her do it.

I think you should just talk to her and let her know about sex and all the repercussions.. I'm 25 and when I was her age My mother used to tell me that kissing will get me pregnant... because if I kiss a boy then he will more than likely try to take it further than kissing and POOOF then comes the baby... scare tactics work... I also think that you should sit down with your daughter and open up to her as if you were one of her girlfriends and you tell her what really concerns you about her and in turn she will listen and open up to you as well... it worked with me when me and my mother would sit down and talk and she would tell me about all the stuff she went through when she was younger some of it I could relate to so it made me open up more because I felt like my mother was just like me and she would understand me because she has been through it.. But she is a teenager and teenagers like to experiment but if they have the proper guidance they will always make the right decisions..

DENEILA101 · Jan 23, 2008, 07:37 PM

I Think Its Totally Normal Just Cool Down Its Just That Your Girl Is Growning Up And The Only Way She Can Grow Up Is If The Mom Is Ok Because I Know You Wouldn't Want Her To Stress Out Do You Just Let Her Do What She Got To Do (still Tell No Sex)

kitten94515 · Jan 24, 2008, 10:47 AM

13 is normal for kissing. (lol.) but I mean there always will be talk of sex and all that other junk. But you shouldn't have to worry about it because I'm 13 and were not that stuid nowadays. Because most of it just sounds repulsive to me. But if your that worried and you tell your daughter no sex or something she might be rebellious and have the urge to. Its just a habit to disagree and be wild. I mean I'm not trying to say anything, but if you don't worry about it she should grow respect for you and she won't do anything. Kissing is REALLY nothing to worry about.
Sorry if I repulsed you in any way.
-Janelle.

Punk chic · Jan 24, 2008, 02:53 PM

I think it is OK to be a mom about it and to know what she is doing is just what a true mom should do. Just make sure she knows that there are a lot of bad people out there, so she should watch who she picks to show her affection to... Anyway, that's what I think.

playa252008 · Jul 6, 2009, 12:42 PM

I am 13 I have kissed a girl and people do it but that's as far as we go and there's nothing wrong with it so just let her but have the sex talk it helped me lots:)