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alejandro2009 · Mar 19, 2009, 02:23 PM

Hi my name is Alejandro. There's this girl that I like I met a couple a months ago. I talk to her everyday in class but she doesn't know I like her. So while we were talking she told me she has a boyfriend and showed me a necklace that he gaved her. They have been going out for a year and eight months. It hurt so much inside when she told me and don't know what to do if I should tell her or stay quiet about it. She likes sports just like me and loves to play soccer she's on the school soccer team. I finished my nine month relationship to ask her but then froed when she told me she had a boyfriend. What do I do pleaseeee help me!! :(

liz28 · Mar 19, 2009, 02:45 PM

You don't go after because she is already committed to someone else. You've to respect her relationship.

In the meantime you keep your feelings under control and only stay friends with her if you understand you can only be just that.

Than you go and find someone that is available with the same interests as you because there are plenty of girls out there.

Clough · Mar 19, 2009, 09:05 PM

Hi, alejandro2009!

I agree with liz28 above.

Even without you telling her, she has already given you the kind of information that would indicate that she already knows that you like her and that she's committed to someone else.

Thanks!

dontknownuthin · Mar 19, 2009, 09:42 PM

I agree, too. Respect the relationship she's in. Of course, if you're in high school, it's not exactly a marriage, either. I think it would be OK to let one of her friends, or a mutual friend know, "If Maria didn't have a boyfriend, I'd ask her out in a minute. She's my kind of girl." It will get back to her. But never ask her out while she's in a relationship. And if she shows reciprocal interest in you, make it clear - you don't date girls who have other boyfriends. You don't violate the code with other men because it's not cool, and you don't date anyone secretly. And please keep in mind who this girl is and who her boyfriend is, and what your school is like. When I was in high school there were some kids who wouldn't think anything of letting it be known that you like someone who was dating already. There were also kids who would want to kill the guy. So, don't be foolish!

alejandro2009 · Mar 26, 2009, 07:58 AM

Thank you all for your help. Yes I am clear that I have to respect her relationship and everything. Her and I are already are real good friends now wish for more but I'll see what happens. Thank you all!

alejandro2009 · Mar 29, 2009, 12:36 PM

Ok I am currently a junior in high school in New York. I broke up with my Girlfriend a couple days ago but now I'm back with her. The problem is that its kind of a long-distance relationship. I have not seen her for about two months now. Everything was going great until her parents knew she had a boyfriend and decided to move. Yeah it sounds crazy doing that but I think they are sick in the head they are over protected of her. Im going to tell you why I think that because they don't even let her go to a store by herself, don't let her use the phone, or be on the computer. We barley talk on the phone and can't even write to each other on the computer because of them. I tried to break up with her before but she would cry on the phone. They left New york and now are residing in Pennsylvania and now my girlfriend goes to a all girls school. I known her for about 4 years now and we at first went out for a year and a half and then broke up and now we're going out for almost 10 months. I don't know what to do?? Im trying to do this long distance relationship but its very hard and I miss her so much. Can someone please give me advice!

-yours saldy,
Alejandro

talaniman · Mar 29, 2009, 03:43 PM

I think your both rather young, and she has her parents to obey, and it really seems they will do all that it takes to keep there daughter safe.

Right or wrong, they are her parents, and you need to let her go for now, as it can only create more problems in her life, with her parents.

Sorry guy, there are to many obstacles in your way, and it can only lead to misery, for you both.

It may get better later, but for now her parents won't let anything happen between you.

alejandro2009 · May 31, 2009, 02:45 PM

Ok a couple of months ago I wrote that I liked this girl but I found out that she had a boyfriend. Her and I are good friends now I make her laugh , etc. So we were talking one day and she told me she had ended her relationship with her boyfriend so I still like her but I am afraid of getting rejected by her happened to me once but hurts. Like she would write silly things on my hand with her pen , but looks in my eyes smiles at me and holds my hand. So I do not know what to do? Like I want to know if she likes me but how can I do that? What can I tell her or ask her to know if she likes me? Please help!! Thank you

soriel · May 31, 2009, 02:59 PM

Tell her you like some girl pretend to confide in her tell her how you feel about her but pretend its another girl ask her advice about the situation you'll know by how she reacts to the advice if she likes you listen to her advice tell her you want a woman's point of view
Ask her what she would do if it was her

I had a friend use the same trick on me he was my boyfriend 3 days later

I wish · May 31, 2009, 03:03 PM

Give her some time to recover from her breakup. 1 year and 8 months is a long time. Just be there as a friend for her first. Once she has recovered, you can make a move on her. While you're waiting for her to recover, it's a good time for you to start building up so courrage for the day to make that move.

You don't need to ignore her while you give her time. Just be her friend while you wait and don't give her extra pressure. Just go with the flow.

soriel · May 31, 2009, 03:55 PM

Let her recover is a great idea
But what if another asks her out while he's letting her recover
Its now or never
Take a chance
Go after what you want
Or you can nurse her through another break up
Or maybe she won't break up with the next 1
Besides I think her
Actions that her actions you described are a bit flirty
Maybe she likes you too

If she doesn't OK maybe it will hurt
It would hurt to see her with someone else too
At least try to get what you want
And forget the what ifs

JBeaucaire · May 31, 2009, 04:12 PM

Being afraid of rejection is the #1 dumbest reason to not ask a girl out. Think of it this way:

Right now, she's not going out with you.
If you ask her if she's interested in going out with you and she says "no", then nothing's actually changed, has it?
So, you might as well ask since the worst that can happen is "nothing".

Of course, there are dumb ways to ask a girl out.

DUMB WAY:
"Gosh, Sally, I think you're the prettiest girl that ever walked the earth. You have to go out with me or I'll just kill myself."

DUMBER:
"You're hot!"

NOT SO DUMB:
"Sally, you know that band we like is playing next Friday. Wouldn't it be fun to go see them? Can I get us a couple of tickets?"

Just don't put your whole life on the line over something as simple as a date.

alejandro2009 · Jun 1, 2009, 09:29 PM

Thank you everyone. I am going to ask her out and see what happens.

JBeaucaire · Jun 1, 2009, 09:37 PM

Good! The #1 most attractive trait (in my experience) is confidence and "purpose". Don't ask her out to "hang out" and do nothing. Ask her to DO something of interest... to both of you!. something you will most likely do whether she comes or not.

Intallekt · Dec 5, 2009, 04:30 AM

Sorry for being late on this, I hope that you asked her out.
She might like you as more then a friend if she writes on your hand, though can never be too sure.
But if she has broken up with her boyfriend, Definitely ask her out as soon as you can.
Ive done the same a bit too many times, and if you wait too long, she will probably find another boyfriend.
You sound like a great guy, and hope that it works out for you.
Just remember, being in high school kind of sucks relationship wise, as in the long run, you both have a chance at attending college far apart, and also many other things. But definitely Good luck in this, and I hope you where able to ask her out and get into a relationship with her.