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worried parent · May 22, 2009, 08:35 PM

Hi
My 10 year old wants to live with his dad.His father and I have had joint custody since our 2005 divorce.We are in a week on week off situation. Well about 6 months ago his father moved in with a married woman and her daughter in a 2 bedroom apartment.

I am in the process of going for a modification of our current parenting plan.In September of 2007 my ex-husband lost his job.He has had a few jobs here and there since than but,they have only lasted a couple of weeks.His married girlfriend whom he lives with draws a disability check and gets subsidized housing to pay for the apartment.My son has a severe allergy problem and this has not stopped them from smoking around him,her daughter has some major depression issues and often lashes out which is causing my son to do the same,He doesn't have his own room over there and until recently was forced to sleep on the couch,My ex is ordered to provide major medical and hasn't done that since September of 07,My son comes home smelling like a ashtray,he has had a horrible school year due to teasing at school and some add issues which I am finally starting to get under control thinks to meds.

My ex has told my son that I am trying to take him away from his dad and is being coached on what to say if he talks to the judge.I can can tell this is the case because my son told me that his father told him that if he lived with me that I wouldn't let him see his father.

So if he has to talk to the judge I am sure that he will tell the judge that he want s to live with his father and I don't think this is best for him.So my question, if he tells the judge that he wants to live with his father do you think the judge will honor his wishes?

worried parent · May 22, 2009, 08:38 PM

I also forgot to add that his girlfried often talks badly about me,as well as his family.

GV70 · May 23, 2009, 05:24 AM

Originally Posted by worried parent

hi
My 10 year old wants to live with his dad
So my question, if he tells the judge that he wants to live with his father do you think the judge will honor his wishes?

Very possible.

ScottGem · May 23, 2009, 05:36 AM

A judge is not likely to weigh too heavily on the wishes of a 10 year old. More likely he will order the child to discuss what he wants with a therapist. A decent therapists should be able to tell if a child is being coached into something.

What you need to do is document the issues, the smoking, the lack of his own room, etc. I think if this can be documented the judge will not make a change in custody.