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    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 22, 2009, 12:03 PM
    Dad paying child support, but cant see kids?
    IM a good father, who works hard and always provided. Now my children have been ripped out of my life, and have absolutely no contact, don't know where they are, nothing. BUt I am expected to pay not a few hundred dollars, but lots of hundreds of dollars for kids I am NOT allowed to see. She is on welfare and has NOT claimed the money I have sent. She does drugs, and drinks often. Kids are in Daycare all day, she has a degree in dental, but doesn't work, collects welfare. Also on days she needs to "get" stuff done she leaves my babies in the custody of her mother, who has a record that consists of theft, assault with a deadly weapon ( more than once) and massive alcohol and drug abuse. ANd has another man living with her who is on welfare as well, is a heavy drug user, and is a drug dealer and they have a child together. I have contacted CART (a division of the Family Act) in New Brunswick, and they aren't doing anything about it. They warn her when they are coming, so she can clean up and make everything good. This guy has no license and drives the kids around in the van I paid for, WITH NO LICENSE. I have also contacted police and still nothing has been done. My question is where and who can I contact to get my kids out of a unfit environment. Im not rich by any means, so who out there gives a about good fathers?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Apr 22, 2009, 02:47 PM

    Sorry but custody and support are two independent things legally. One is not contingent on the other.
    You need to gather your records together
    And prove that you have been paying. Then you need to notify welfare that she is committing fraud. You need to find a way to prove everything since nobody will listen
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #3

    Apr 22, 2009, 03:05 PM

    You need to get a good lawyer and fight for custody. Also, you should have taken her to court for visitation a long time ago.
    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 22, 2009, 04:41 PM
    We have gone to court. She was awarded full custody and left the province as soon as I went back to work. I have a letter from a lawyer stating that I cannot be deinied my kids if I should ever show up to see them... problem is I don't know where they are
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Apr 22, 2009, 05:08 PM

    When she got custody was a visitation schedule put in place? If so, you go back to court and file contempt charges against her for moving and not letting you know. Even if a visitation schedule was not put in place, then you you still file for contempt because she will not let you see the kids.

    The keyword here is FIGHT. You have to keep going back to court and force the court to enforce your rights.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #6

    Apr 22, 2009, 05:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stoneymurf View Post
    We have gone to court. She was awarded full custody and left the province as soon as i went back to work. I have a letter from a lawyer stating that I cannot be deinied my kids if i should ever show up to see them...problem is I dont know where they are
    If you are paying child support than follow the money trail to find her.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Apr 22, 2009, 05:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    If you are paying child support than follow the money trail to find her.
    Most often when support payments are paid through an agency, the agency will not provide location info. However, a court may reveal the info if there is a violation of a visitation order.
    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 22, 2009, 09:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    You need to get a good lawyer and fight for custody. Also, you should have taken her to court for visitation a long time ago.
    That is the plan now and thank you for a kick in the butt, I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt. But thank you
    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 22, 2009, 09:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    When she got custody was a visitation schedule put in place? If so, you go back to court and file contempt charges against her for moving and not letting you know. Even if a visitation schedule was not put in place, then you you still file for contempt because she will not let you see the kids.

    The keyword here is FIGHT. You have to keep going back to court and force the court to enforce your rights.
    Yes it helps a lot I really thank you so much, I have lots to learn
    lighterrr's Avatar
    lighterrr Posts: 1,415, Reputation: 72
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    #10

    Apr 22, 2009, 09:48 PM

    Stoney if you got records of the payments that you are making to her monthly you can call welfare office yourself and report that you are providing child support to this woman.

    Sometimes the children's aid agencies are completely bombarded with complaints and don't react the way they should when trying to determine the best living conditions for children. Which is really sad cause that's suppose to be their jobs!

    Do you know what province she is in! Has a visitation scheduled been put into place. Depends on the terms of your custody agreement she may have breached it by moving out of province?

    Good luck and I hope you get to see your children soon
    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Apr 22, 2009, 09:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lighterrr View Post
    stoney if you got records of the payments that you are making to her monthly you can call welfare office yourself and report that you are providing child support to this woman.

    Sometimes the children's aid agencies are completely bombarded with complaints and don't react the way they should when trying to determine the best living conditions for children. Which is really sad cause that's suppose to be their jobs!

    Do you know what province she is in! Has a visitation scheduled been put into place. Depends on the terms of your custody agreement she may have breached it by moving out of province?

    good luck and i hope you get to see your children soon
    I have done that as well and they do not do there jobs at all id like to have them all fired. New brunswick sucks
    lighterrr's Avatar
    lighterrr Posts: 1,415, Reputation: 72
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    #12

    Apr 22, 2009, 10:00 PM

    Have you talked to a family court lawyer? Their has to be @ least a legal aid firm you can get in contact with so you can get in contact with your children.
    stoneymurf's Avatar
    stoneymurf Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 22, 2009, 10:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lighterrr View Post
    have you talked to a family court lawyer? Their has to be @ least a legal aid firm you can get in contact with so you can get in contact with your children.
    I talked to one but he said he doesn't want to get involved with the welfare part , but I have a few leads for tomorrow I'm looking into. So I'm hoping because this unreal.
    lighterrr's Avatar
    lighterrr Posts: 1,415, Reputation: 72
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    #14

    Apr 22, 2009, 10:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stoneymurf View Post
    i talked to one but he said he doesnt want to get involved with the welfare part , but i have a few leads fo tomorrow im looking into. so im hoping because this unreal.
    Unreal indeed

    Keep us posted
    I'm routing for you
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #15

    Apr 23, 2009, 05:15 AM

    First, you never answered about a visitation schedule. If you want our help you need to give us the info we ask for.

    Second, I'm confused about this welfare business. If you are paying court ordered support to an agency, generally the agency will coordinate this with social services. Its very possible she doesn't even see what you pay, that it goes back to the govt to reimburse the welfare payments she is getting. So you need to get the facts here before you start crying welfare fraud.

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