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AngelaMartis · Apr 8, 2009, 11:36 AM

MY daughter is nearly 8 months old. I gave her the last name of her father (although we are not married) and he left us several months ago. When he left I was adament about being update when his contact information has changed and he has neglected to follow through on doing this.

I would like to give her my last name because he now has nothing to do with her, and I suspect that he never will. I understand that the laws are different from state to state and that there is a difference in the protocol if the child is over 1 year of age. She was born in Maine and we now live in Illinois so I don't even know where to begin.

phoxphyer78 · Apr 8, 2009, 12:03 PM

Sorry to hear, I know how you feel. I changed my kids name to mine. It's easy as pie, only I don't think they will allow you to change it a third time. Call the register's office and explain to them you need the name change. They will send you the proper documents. Also I have to give my opinion that I think your making a wise move because later on if your getting say a passport for you child, you won't have to find the father to get his permission or explain where he is. Just a simple letter will help because the child has your last name. Good luck!

ANB428 · Apr 8, 2009, 12:37 PM

I have asked this question to many people and they all told me that in order to change my daughter's last name I have to have her father sign the papers to do it. Otherwise, I can't change her last name. He will not sign the papers, so I am SOL. My daughter is now four years old and has not seen her father since she was two months old. He has never given me child support or anything. I don't have any contact information for him either. So, I don't think that it is easy as pie. I am sure that the legal experts will post here soon to tell you the same thing that I am telling you.

stevetcg · Apr 9, 2009, 08:45 AM

ANB has it right - you will require the father's consent in order to change your child's name. While the protocol for doing so varies from state to state, the requirements do not. The age of the child also does not make any difference as far as I have ever heard or read.

phoxphyer78 · Apr 9, 2009, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by ANB428

I have asked this question to many people and they all told me that in order to change my daughter's last name I have to have her father sign the papers to do it. Otherwise, I can't change her last name. He will not sign the papers, so I am SOL. My daughter is now four years old and has not seen her father since she was two months old. He has never given me child support or anything. I don't have any contact information for him either. So, I don't think that it is easy as pie. I am sure that the legal experts will post here soon to tell you the same thing that I am telling you.

Sorry to disappoint but it was easy for me and I had twins. The registrars office told me to contact the father and I told them I don't know where he is and that he's not a U.S citizen or resident, it worked for me. Like I said easy as pie and I did get my twins passport with no problem either. Yes I also know that every state and situation is different. But I'm telling you what happened to me.

phoxphyer78 · Apr 9, 2009, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by ANB428

I have asked this question to many people and they all told me that in order to change my daughter's last name I have to have her father sign the papers to do it. Otherwise, I can't change her last name. He will not sign the papers, so I am SOL. My daughter is now four years old and has not seen her father since she was two months old. He has never given me child support or anything. I don't have any contact information for him either. So, I don't think that it is easy as pie. I am sure that the legal experts will post here soon to tell you the same thing that I am telling you.

I only had to write a letter stating I don't know where the father is and that he's not American, and I got my twins passport. Like I said, it worked for me.

ANB428 · Apr 9, 2009, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

I only had to write a letter stating I don't know where the father is and that he's not American, and I got my twins passport. Like I said, it worked for me.

Well, in your case it is different because the father is not American for one. The OP isn't talking about getting a passport, she is talking about trying to get her child's last name changed. It has nothing to do with a passport. Now there is a process of abandonment, but I don't know how that works exactly. I know that you would have to place an article in a newspaper and if the father doesn't respond for so long, you can have abandonment granted. I don't know the exact procedure. The OP needs to talk to a laywer. I know that it isn't that easy to change a child's last name by just saying that the father is absent and the mother doesn't know where he is. I have been trying to change my daughter's last name for four years.

ScottGem · Apr 9, 2009, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

Sorry to disappoint but it was easy for me and I had twins. ... But I'm telling you what happened to me.

That's all well and good, but what you have to understand is that what worked for you may not work universally. You gave this advice as if it would work for everyone, which is just not the case.

A birth certificate is a legal document and generally it requires a court to change it. Maybe your local registrar accepted that you can't find the father and agreed to process the change. They may have even done so in spite of local laws.

When giving advice here that is based solely on a single personal experience, you have to explain that and NOT assume that your experience will work for everyone.

phoxphyer78 · Apr 9, 2009, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That's all well and good, but what you have to understand is that what worked for you may not work universally. You gave this advice as if it would work for everyone, which is just not the case.

A birth certificate is a legal document and generally it requires a court to change it. Maybe your local registrar accepted that you can't find the father and agreed to process the change. They may have even done so in spite of local laws.

When giving advice here that is based solely on a single personal experience, you have to explain that and NOT assume that your experience will work for everyone.

That I do know, I was just giving my input on how it worked for me. If someone ask a question you can answer with your experience right? That's what I did, and I also stated that every situation is different. I am ONLY stating how easy it was for me, obviously for others it isn't. Maybe I was lucky who knows. That's what I made up and told them because I didn't want to be bothered to try and get any info about him and have to pay from my pocket. The passport is just a reference of the outcome of changing their names that's all, nothing else. Good luck to you or anyone who's trying to do the same thing.

stevetcg · Apr 9, 2009, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

That I do know, I was just giving my input on how it worked for me. If someone ask a question you can answer with your experience right? That's what I did, and I also stated that every situation is different. I am ONLY stating how easy it was for me, obviously for others it isn't. Maybe I was lucky who knows. That's what I made up and told them because I didn't want to be bothered to try and get any info about him and have to pay from my pocket. The passport is just a reference of the outcome of changing their names that's all, nothing else. Good luck to you or anyone who's trying to do the same thing.

So you lied? To the government? You do realize perjury is a felony right?

phoxphyer78 · Apr 9, 2009, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That's all well and good, but what you have to understand is that what worked for you may not work universally. You gave this advice as if it would work for everyone, which is just not the case.

A birth certificate is a legal document and generally it requires a court to change it. Maybe your local registrar accepted that you can't find the father and agreed to process the change. They may have even done so in spite of local laws.

When giving advice here that is based solely on a single personal experience, you have to explain that and NOT assume that your experience will work for everyone.

I'm sorry if I assume that the person who asked the question will have it easy, but please we are all not perfect I made a mistake. Like I said, for me, it was easy as pie.

stevetcg · Apr 9, 2009, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

I'm sorry if I assume that the person who asked the question will have it easy, but please we are all not perfect I made a mistake. Like I said, for me, it was easy as pie.

Telling someone to commit a crime is not good advice.

ScottGem · Apr 9, 2009, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

If someone ask a question you can answer with your experience right? That's what I did, and I also stated that every situation is different.

Yes you can answer from your own experience, but you have to indicate that its from a single experience, not knowledge of general procedures or rules. And you didn't state that every situation was different until challenged.

Originally Posted by phoxphyer78

That's what I made up and told them because I didn't want to be bothered to try and get any info about him and have to pay from my pocket.

We do not support or condone illegal activities here. As said a birth certificate is a legal document. You lied to change a legal document and that IS perjury. If the father every challenged the BC you could be in big trouble.