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    farmtowngirl's Avatar
    farmtowngirl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 26, 2009, 09:22 PM
    Night time loneliness.
    My ex of almost 1 year broke up over a month ago. I've been through the mopping part, the crying out your eyes, neglecting your body blah, blah, blah, all that good stuff.

    Since then, I've gotten pretty good, little contact, being able to see him in the hallways at school and being fine, hanging with other friends, but it's just at night. I start to get lonely and thinking about him.

    I'm not sure if I just want someone to cuddle with or if it's just the loneliness itself.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to get over this?
    teastalk's Avatar
    teastalk Posts: 299, Reputation: 21
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Mar 26, 2009, 09:34 PM

    Watch a scary movie or focus on some problem that will really bother you and you'll have to think about that for the rest of the night. Like if you have an exam due.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Mar 26, 2009, 09:55 PM

    Im not sure what it is really. Do you want him to be the one there to cuddle with you while you sleep or would anyone be fine? If you want him than yea you miss him but if anyone is okay than yah maybe you're a little bit lonely. If it's the second and you would be fine cuddling with anyone, than I don't think it's a good idea to find anyone because than they would just be a rebound. It wouldn't be fair for the both of you. But I'm pretty sure that since you're thinking about him, than you miss him. Its hard getting over a break up.

    Do you want to move on? Or would you like to get back together with him? Have you talked to him lately and let you know how you feel about him? Here's some stuff to think about. Good Luck!
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #4

    Mar 26, 2009, 10:02 PM

    I know exactly how you feel.. didn't sleep properly for about 6 months after me and my ex broke up.


    The nights are by far the hardest, nothing to distract us.

    All I can say is that it does pass. This is just the part when your head and your heart are trying to align themselves to the same idea. The heart takes a lot longer to forget unfortunately!


    Your doing really well, don't backtrack! Stay strong, you've gotten over the worst bit.. this too will pass. I must say I find this site really addictive when I can't sleep. But it's great because I can feel a bit better thinking that I'm trying to help someone. Everybody wins! :D
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #5

    Mar 26, 2009, 10:25 PM

    May I ask how old you are? Are you in high school or in college?

    The worst thing you can do is try and talk to him at this point, as mentioned above. He has broken up with you. The best thing you can do for yourself, is accept it for what it is, and that it is over. I know it's hard, but it won't be your last relationship. Relationships end for a reason, and you will only hurt more if you cling to it.

    Don't listen to music that reminds you of him. Don't look at pics, if you have any. Don't do things that remind you of him. Occupy your time with things you are interested in that will keep you busy. Write in a journal, and just get your feelings out if you feel you need to.

    I see your name is "farmtowngirl." I'm assuming you may live on a farm? If you can't sleep, maybe go out for a long walk if you're allowed. If you have animals, focus your attention on them. They have unconditional love. Cuddle with your dog or cat if you have one. They are really good company, and will be there when you need them. If it's not too late, call a friend. The ex boyfriend talk is off limits. Make plans for the summer, or an occasion that is coming up... etc.

    Also, if he is still on your cell phone, Facebook, myspace... etc... remove him. It will only prolong the hurt to see who he is talking to, or what he is doing. It only causes more drama, and it will drive you crazy.

    Also, do things during the day that will give you more things to think about at night. Do things with friends, or find a hobby that you are interested in. Also, get a lot of exercise. If you do that, you will fall asleep easier at night, and you won't be awake to think so much about him.
    slow man's Avatar
    slow man Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Mar 26, 2009, 11:43 PM
    I experience the same feeling at night. I get home, and stare out the window sometimes. I am sorry ,but I haven't exactly found a way to overcome it completely. I log on to this site lately so I know I am not the only one experiencing these feelings
    ozz_'s Avatar
    ozz_ Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 26, 2009, 11:57 PM
    First thing is to make a thorough analisis so there is no doubt in your mind that you and him will be back together, if that is absolutely not possible, I would suggest to focus on your life before him and try to find the motivational fuel to keep pushing every night.

    Even though it is frustrating, the only thing I know that will help you is to give it time, the answers will come alone, you have them in you, is just that you haven't found them yet.

    Once it clicks in your mind and you start answering your own questions you will start to feel better.
    rachelcuryy08's Avatar
    rachelcuryy08 Posts: 47, Reputation: -3
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Mar 27, 2009, 01:12 AM

    OK, look I know I might sound too save as what people tell me. But look prayer changes everything some people say it don't but it's because they don't have faith. Look I dare you to fall down on your knees and to ask GOD to for give you for all your sins and to tell him you accept him as your personal saver in christ. Look it might sound crazy but I promise It will work. Ask GOD to repair your hurt from hurt and to heal your hurt I bet you it will work. Also I just want to let you know that sometimes we want something but GOD be like no I don't want you with that but we be like yes so he allow us to get it. Like a baby they will want to touch something hot we say no it's hot then they still make they way there so what we do? We let then touch it to let them see that's it hot.Well that's what GOD is doing he allowing you to touch the fire he's allow you to get in a relationship that hurt you in a way. So now all you have to do is come back to your nest surrender and have faith put your head in the bible and soon you will see your mind want be on that man. Look at it in this way GOD take things out our way for better things to come in and when we allow them to come in we will see the deferents I challenge you today and anybody else that's experiencing this promblem to hold on to your faith with GOD and see what will happen... GOD BLESS YOU!! I hope I help you today...
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Mar 27, 2009, 04:16 AM

    I have insomnia and my brain just starts to spin with problems the minute my head hits the pillow.

    I make up a story,dialogue and all and I finally bore myself to sleep.

    Sounds goofy ,I know but it works for me.Distraction is the key.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #10

    Mar 27, 2009, 07:12 AM

    Hot bath, two aspirin, the body relaxes then the mind.
    asssasasa's Avatar
    asssasasa Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Jan 1, 2010, 09:04 PM
    Asasasass
    asssasasa's Avatar
    asssasasa Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Jan 1, 2010, 09:08 PM
    Yeah starbuck8 speaks the truth. And I totally agree about the myspace, Facebook situation. If you leave him on your friends list and in the future you see the "is now in a relationship" status come up, it will destroy you. I know, it happened to me.

    I wish you well and maybe can add something along the lines of reading a good book or listening to music. If it's nighttime and there's nothing else to do. God bless you.


    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    May I ask how old you are? Are you in highschool or in college?

    The worst thing you can do is try and talk to him at this point, as mentioned above. He has broken up with you. The best thing you can do for yourself, is accept it for what it is, and that it is over. I know it's hard, but it won't be your last relationship. Relationships end for a reason, and you will only hurt more if you cling to it.

    Don't listen to music that reminds you of him. Don't look at pics, if you have any. Don't do things that remind you of him. Occupy your time with things you are interested in that will keep you busy. Write in a journal, and just get your feelings out if you feel you need to.

    I see your name is "farmtowngirl." I'm assuming you may live on a farm? If you can't sleep, maybe go out for a long walk if you're allowed. If you have animals, focus your attention on them. They have unconditional love. Cuddle with your dog or cat if you have one. They are really good company, and will be there when you need them. If it's not too late, call a friend. The ex bf talk is off limits. Make plans for the summer, or an occasion that is coming up...etc.

    Also, if he is still on your cell phone, facebook, myspace...etc....remove him. It will only prolong the hurt to see who he is talking to, or what he is doing. It only causes more drama, and it will drive you crazy.

    Also, do things during the day that will give you more things to think about at night. Do things with friends, or find a hobby that you are interested in. Also, get alot of exercise. If you do that, you will fall asleep easier at night, and you won't be awake to think so much about him.

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