Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:15 AM
    He loves me one day and not the next ?
    Im wondering if I could ask some advice, I've been with my ex for 2 years off and on. We were back on in November last year and have just found he was also seeing another woman behind my back. He says that they wernt together when we were but I don't believe that's true.

    Also, one day he tells me that he loves me and wants to get back together then the next he says he is unsure. He has been constantly emailing and texting me asking me to go back to him and that the other girl he was seeing is out of the pic (she is out of the pic because she found out about me and kicked him to the kerb, but he don't know that I know that)

    Yesterday I was going to meet up with him and found out only 1 hour later that he is back friends with her on Facebook?? I texted him to ask him why he was asking me to get back with him an then going behind my back with her on Facebook, and funnily enough I've never heard from him today!!

    I also found out that whilst begging me to come back he has been arranging to go on hol with a different girl, when I questioned him he says they were only mates and that they were both going through a bad time at the mo and needed to get away?? He even had the cheek to say to me that they were mates but you never know eh??

    What should I do? I do love the guy but he is playing me for a fool, one day he loves me and then the next day he doesn't know whether we will work out, he is 30 yrs old and still living at home so not the best catch in the world I suppose but I love him

    He text me today saying that he has had enough of mates mates giving him hassle about the way he is treating me, so now he don't want to be together?? But he did yesterday.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:18 AM

    He just text me saying the above about my mates giving him hassle about the way he treats me, he will leave me alone for a few weeks and then get in touch out of the blue when it suits him.

    He says that he loves me and wants us to be together and then the next day or a week later its all changed, I know he always gets close to people and then fires them off

    What do I do please help
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:26 AM

    Ignore him, plain and simple. Why would you continue to allow him to play these games with you? How much longer are you going to wait for his call or text? STAY OFF FACEBOOK!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:26 AM

    End the confusion, from a confused person, by ending all contact, and sending his emails to spam.

    Why would you even consider listening to a confused liar, and cheater?

    He will get the message to leave you alone, by your NON RESPONSES to his advances.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:29 AM

    I do love him but know that I can never trust him, when his mates knew we were together the first thing they said to me was be careful as he tells lies and that was his mates!!
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:43 AM

    How do I get him out of my head, he says I'm the other half of him, that I'm the most beautiful person he has met etc etc. All the corny one liners I fall for!!

    This other woman he was seeing lives over 200 miles away and he told me that he was seeing her but not at the same time as me, that he didn't love her and that she was too young for him
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Mar 13, 2009, 10:46 AM

    He just text me and said tell your mates to stop hassling me thank you and goodbye!! That was it, as clear and blank as that, how could sum1 be so cold??
    MiSSsy111222's Avatar
    MiSSsy111222 Posts: 267, Reputation: 29
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Mar 13, 2009, 11:06 AM

    Its might take you a while to stop thinking about him and the situation.The less contact you have with him the better, if you can't hear him or see him the less you will keep falling for his game. He does not sound like a good person. Leave him be, stop the contact and try to move on from him and his mind games.

    If you know his one liners are fake, then stop believing in them. As soon as you stop responding to him the better, he will soon realise that your not falling for the crap that coming out of his mouth.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #9

    Mar 13, 2009, 11:27 AM

    No Contact, whatsoever!!!!
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Mar 13, 2009, 12:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222 View Post
    Its might take you a while to stop thinking about him and the situation.The less contact you have with him the better, if you can't hear him or see him the less you will keep falling for his game. He does not sound like a good person. leave him be, stop the contact and try to move on from him and his mind games.

    if you know his one liners are fake, then stop believing in them. As soon as you stop responding to him the better, he will soon realise that your not falling for the crap that coming out of his mouth.
    Thanks for your advice, he told my friend that he has been playing mind games for 29 years and is good at it?? The thought of him with another woman kills me so much but I know I should move on. I emailed the other woman and told her of his games and she booted him to the kerb but has since gotten back in touch, I emailed her telling her that he has been horrible about her but she hasn't replied to my email. I don't want her to think that I'm being nasty I just don't want to see her get hurt as she has Cerebal Palsy and is going through enough at the mo.

    What do I do
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
    Senior Member
     
    #11

    Mar 13, 2009, 12:54 PM

    Its so nice of you to care about the other woman and warn her of his behavior/words, however, she is an adult and unfortunatetly if she wants to have contact with him in any way she will.

    As far as you? You need to try your best to move on from this person (I won't even refer to him as a man). You deserve so much better for yourself, and if he is the head game, cheating type he is not going to change. I'm sorry if I am being harsh, but that is really the way I see this.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Mar 13, 2009, 12:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starlite1 View Post
    Its so nice of you to care about the other woman and warn her of his behavior/words, however, she is an adult and unfortunatetly if she wants to have contact with him in any way she will.

    As far as you? You need to try your best to move on from this person (I won't even refer to him as a man). You deserve so much better for yourself, and if he is the head game, cheating type he is not going to change. I'm sorry if I am being harsh, but that is really the way I see this.
    I never know where I stand with him, last weekend he was texting/ringing me when I was away saying that he loved and missed me so much, then he was telling my friends that it wasn't going to work the next day, then Monday he loved me again (I assume you all get the pic) yesterday he said he wanted to try again and he said that because my mates were emailing him and asking him why he was treating me like this way, today he told my mate that he didn't want this hassle that they gave him and it was over.

    He text me tonight and just said tell your mates to stop hassling me and goodbye?? That it was my friends faut that he couldn't be with me because they ave him too much hassle?? I think this is just an excuse for him to wander even more

    Help please
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #13

    Mar 13, 2009, 01:50 PM

    I surely wouldn't believe anything he says. Its up to you to continue with this misery and pain, so get busy making changes, like disappearing from his life.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I surely wouldn't believe anything he says. Its up to you to continue with this misery and pain, so get busy making changes, like disappearing from his life.
    Thanks for your advice, I'm fed up of one day him loving me and then the next he says he don't think it will work, then next day he didn't mean what he said and he loved me. The other day he told my friend to tell me to go and "get laid" by other men?? That hurt me so much. When I asked him why he said it he said that he was angry and didn't mean it.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:04 PM

    When I found out that he was discussing going on holiday with a "girl that was just a friend so he says" I was gutted, he turned round to me and says that she's just a mate as she has a daughter "but you never know eh" how could he say that to me?? Its killed my heart
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #16

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:24 PM

    I do love the guy but he is playing me for a fool,
    Yes,he is playing you and he will continue to do so.That is not a relationship and it is not love.

    Value yourself and do not allow anyone to treat you with such blatant disrespect.

    I can't even imagine what could possibly keep you hanging on to this relationship.If it is hope that he will change,forget it.

    If it is because you have invested time,you can't get that back but you can make certain you do not waste anymore .

    Cut your losses,see it as a life experience you will never repeat and honor yourself by dumping this loser.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #17

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    Yes,he is playing you and he will continue to do so.That is not a relationship and it is not love.

    Value yourself and do not allow anyone to treat you with such blatant disrespect.

    I can't even imagine what could possibly keep you hanging on to this relationship.If it is hope that he will change,forget it.

    If it is because you have invested time,you can't get that back but you can make certain you do not waste anymore .

    Cut your losses,see it as a life experience you will never repeat and honor yourself by dumping this loser.
    Hi artlady, thanks for the advice, I know he is playing me for a fool, the whole thing is making me unwell, I've lost a stone in weight with not eating and my family are really concerned over my health.
    He treats me badly but I still care, that shows what a fool I am!! Why does one day he loves me and the next he don't??
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #18

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:51 PM

    why does one day he loves me and the next he don't??
    He says he loves you but he does not.You have to look at his actions.Look at how he is hurting you and literally making you ill.
    He is no good and he will never be able to give you want you need.
    Cut all ties with him and begin to get your life back.It is your only hope for happiness.
    imaloneandscare's Avatar
    imaloneandscare Posts: 48, Reputation: -2
    Junior Member
     
    #19

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    He says he loves you but he does not.You have to look at his actions.Look at how he is hurting you and literally making you ill.
    He is no good and he will never be able to give you want you need.
    Cut all ties with him and begin to get your life back.It is your only hope for happiness.
    artlady, you don't know how much it hurts to see your words in bold, he don't love you. As he always tells me he does, that no other woman inc the ex gives him the alive feeling that I do/did. I know the best thing is to move on as what is a relationship without trust.? It kills me thinking that he will probablt be on Facebook now picking up more woman like I was nothing to him, I'm only 8 stone and 6 foot tall so you can imagine how ill I look and feel at the moment . Im hurting so bad xx
    MiSSsy111222's Avatar
    MiSSsy111222 Posts: 267, Reputation: 29
    Full Member
     
    #20

    Mar 13, 2009, 03:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by imaloneandscare View Post
    thanks for your advice, he told my friend that he has been playing mind games for 29 years and is good at it ???? The thought of him with another woman kills me so much but I know i should move on. I emailed the other woman and told her of his games and she booted him to the kerb but has since gotten back in touch, i emailed her telling her that he has been horrible about her but she hasnt replied to my email. I dont want her to think that im being nasty I just dont want to see her get hurt as she has Cerebal Palsy and is going through enough at the mo.

    What do i do

    Sounds to me like he is good at it, fooling two women at once. Try not to think of him with another woman, and when you do think of this it should give you the finally push to move on. Wow I'm actually surprised , thumps up to you. Most females would have some kind of jealousy of the "other women". You just need that final push to go ahead fully with no contact, sooner rather than later.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Loves me but loves someone else too she thinks [ 2 Answers ]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now. I love this girl and she says she does too. But I found out that she had feelings for her best friend and she said she realized she was in love with him after she found out she was in love with me. Hes a friend also a good guy too but he says...

He says that he still loves me [ 4 Answers ]

Hi I had made the decision to stop talking to the ex friend and I'm okay with that be cause I wasn't my ex back.See me and him talked about it and he says that he still loves me.He said that the only reason why we aren't back together is because of my parents.See I didn't introduce them so my...

He loves me,He loves me not [ 5 Answers ]

I have been with a guy for four years. He has been so good to me and my daughter and we love him to death, but once a year he wants to break up. He goes on and on about how much he loves me and about how I'm the one and then all of the sudden he can't see himself with me and we are breaking up. I...

How do I know if he really loves me? [ 2 Answers ]

I'm really confused... I have a boyfriend for 5 months. When we started our relationship, 1 month later he said he loves me, but I didn't believe him because it was too early. Few weeks later he said it again with this words: "First time when i told you I love you, i didn't really meant it, but now...

Hey found an article about first loves and loves in my local paper, might interest you! [ 2 Answers ]

Love Story (from Bournemouth Echo) Might interest you, :P Nothing amazing but its sweet, a book is listed there some may be interetsed in.


View more questions Search