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    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #61

    Feb 7, 2009, 01:51 PM

    This is the calm before the storm. I can feel it. I have no problem getting the police up here if he kicks in the door again. I just fear that he will do far more than that.

    About the possession. I was told that I shouldn't be charged with anything because I was the one that phoned the police and asked them to come up here and remove the stuff out of my house. I also offered a UA because he asked if I do this drug. I said if you have a UA kit in your car I would be happy to take it. I don't believe I would be charged because I think they would have arrested me instantly seeing I was the only one here. It looked bad I am sure to them. But my sister has a co worker with family in law enforcement and they told me not to worry about anything. They are looking for my boyfriend to question him about the friend that was here with the drugs. As far as I know they probably won't charge my boyfriend with anything. I wish that none of this had to happen but the strength I needed was having the police up here to prove to me that the drug was here and that they are here to help if need be. I don't trust the courts but will do my best to take care of me and my kids
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #62

    Feb 7, 2009, 06:08 PM

    Things just keep getting better (sarcastically speaking). At 4:30p (02/07/09) I received a phone call from a pay phone. The caller, a male asked if Mike (my boyfriend) is there. I said no. I asked who the caller was and he said (sarcastic tone) "someone that Mike is making real good friends with" Caller then asks "When did you see him last" I replied "Last Night" Caller went on to say " Tell him to watch his back" " We are keeping our eyes on him" He then asked "Do you expect him home later this evening?" I said "No". Caller said (sarcastically again) "Okay" and then hung up. I quote the caller but may be missing a few words here and there but this about sums up what the caller said. I instantly felt fear so I phone the police with the call. They couldn't do much because it was a pay phone and advised me to lock my doors and if I receive any more calls to mark them down and call them. I instanly removed Mikes clothing from the bedroom and placed it out on the front porch. If there was even a glimpse of a possible reunion or make up not anymore. That was another straw for me. I am assuming its over a drug deal or something of that nature. But its staying away from my home and my kids. I couldn't believe that that just happened today. I am tired of the crap
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #63

    Feb 7, 2009, 08:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovergirl247 View Post
    Things just keep getting better (sarcastically speaking). At 4:30p (02/07/09) I received a phone call from a pay phone. The caller, a male asked if Mike (my boyfriend) is there. I said no. I asked who the caller was and he said (sarcastic tone) "someone that Mike is making real good friends with" Caller then asks "When did you see him last" I replied "Last Night" Caller went on to say " Tell him to watch his back" " We are keeping our eyes on him" He then asked "Do you expect him home later this evening?" I said "No". Caller said (sarcastically again) "Okay" and then hung up. I quote the caller but may be missing a few words here and there but this about sums up what the caller said. I instantly felt fear so I phone the police with the call. They couldn't do much because it was a pay phone and advised me to lock my doors and if I receive any more calls to mark them down and call them. I instanly removed Mikes clothing from the bedroom and placed it out on the front porch. If there was even a glimpse of a possible reunion or make up not anymore. That was another straw for me. I am assuming its over a drug deal or something of that nature. But its staying away from my home and my kids. I couldn't believe that that just happened today. I am tired of the crap
    Good move calling the police. Good move placing his things out on the porch. He has gotten himself in some hot water and you don't want to be any part of it If they call again, say you are not his keeper nor his messenger and he can not be found here.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #64

    Feb 7, 2009, 09:03 PM

    Thank you so much for the support cozyk and all others. Things will be difficult. But I am preparing for what I need to do. Nothing has happened since the phone call so that puts me at ease some. I still fear the worst is yet to come.
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #65

    Feb 7, 2009, 09:17 PM

    You are welcome. It's 11:13 and I am going to crawl into bed and get ready for Sat. Night Live. You have done all you can for one day so I suggest you do the same. Good for you letting the machine get that call last night. Calling at that hour especially was just rude, but what else is new? Same ole, same ole.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #66

    Feb 7, 2009, 09:40 PM

    Sweet Dreams To all :)
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #67

    Feb 8, 2009, 02:54 PM

    No more calls which is good. Was told that Mike wants to get a hold of me at some point today. Either by phone or visit. Its not going to go well and I am afraid of what he may say. I feel OK though. I am not likeing the fact that I have to lock my doors I have never had to do that before. I lock them when I leave and I hate it.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #68

    Feb 8, 2009, 09:29 PM

    I did not hear from Mike yet. His things are still out on the porch. Been a rough day.
    Good Night Everyone!
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #69

    Feb 9, 2009, 01:00 AM

    Hang in there. By the way I like your new avatar, cute.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #70

    Feb 9, 2009, 07:46 AM
    I would have called the cops when he kicked the door in the first time... after all its your place not his. Legally.

    If he ever tries it again I hope you have 911 on the line before he has time to get in.


    And make it clear no in person meetings... you are putting yourself and your kids at risk. If its something that absolutely has to be said... it can be said on the phone... and if you do I hope you record your call. Most Answering machines let you do that. If you live in a state that requires both parties to have concent before recording then make sure you tell him first. If you don't then no reason to inform him.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #71

    Feb 9, 2009, 09:16 AM

    Thank you for the nice compliment cozyk. And about the door. I did tell him after the last time that I will call the police if he were to do something like that again. I can't afford it first thing secondly its illegal what he is doing.

    What I think is happening right now is a game. Mike has not called to get his things. I can't keep letting this happen. He will drag this out as long as he possibly can. I can't get the ball rolling with him because I don't know where he is staying. I also don't feel that I should be the one that makes the move. He told me he wanted out why isn't he getting any of his things? What do you recommend that I do in this situation?
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #72

    Feb 9, 2009, 10:42 AM

    Right now I don't know what to tell you about his things. I just want you to know I'm working on it. Hopefully between all of us, we'll come up with something. Make sure ALL his stuff is out there so there will be no reason to come inside. Or he won't be taking you to small claims court saying you have his TV or whatever. Maybe you could ask the police what the procedure should be if someone has left, but will not come and get their stuff. You want to make sure you play by the rules. IF big IF I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for it, I'd somehow get a message to him that reads... Today 's date. Then something like, All of your belongings left in my possession will be kept on my front porch until Feb. xx, 2009. Any items not picked up by you by that date will be donated to bla bla bla. Now you just need a mailing address. You also need some sort of proof that you mailed the letter. Like send it, "Return Recpt. Requested" or have it notorized or signed by witnesses or something. He could later claim that he never recd. Such a letter and take you to court for getting rid of his things. It would be his word against yours. You have to think in a way that puts you a step ahead of this guys stunts. Come on people, help us come up with some ideas.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #73

    Feb 9, 2009, 10:45 AM

    Do you know any of his relatives or friends?

    Personally, I'd drop all his stuff at his mommy's and let HER deal with it.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #74

    Feb 9, 2009, 10:49 AM

    His relatives are actually sick of our ins and outs. I have just regained some bit of trust from his father. I fear that if I contact him he will only make matters worse. I have told his father before that his son is into meth but he doesn't really care. His brother is mean. I mean MEAN. I am actually afraid of his family's words. Not so much their actions. I just would hate to get them involved. I hate this feeling I am having.
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #75

    Feb 9, 2009, 11:03 AM

    What about his work place? Send a letter addressed to him in care of where ever he works. Don't go there. That's only more drama if you go there. But, it gives you an address where you know he will get his instructions . Also in your "eviction notice" say that you are not responsible for any damage that may occur to his belongings before he picks them up. I would be generous so he can't cry foul on that. I would maybe give him 10-14 days. That would be more than fair I think. Still up for more ideas people.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #76

    Feb 9, 2009, 12:09 PM

    I just hate that he is prolonging all of this. I did nothing to deserve this treatment. It hurts so bad because all I can do is go back. When things were all right. There were happy times and that is all I can think about. Why this is happening to me and my kids. What I actually did wrong. Knowing in my heart that I did nothing. It just feels as though I am being punished and punished hard.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #77

    Feb 9, 2009, 12:16 PM
    Call your local police dept... explain the situation and find out what your legal options are for getting his stuff out...

    If he likes it or not doesn't matter. THis is on your schedule not his. If the police say you can dump his stuff at the street then do so. Follow the recommendation of the police. YOu can cover your butt this way.

    And if he is playing games get a restaining order issued. Now before he does something.
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #78

    Feb 9, 2009, 12:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovergirl247 View Post
    I just hate that he is prolonging all of this. I did nothing to deserve this treatment. It hurts so bad because all I can do is go back. When things were alright. There were happy times and that is all I can think about. Why this is happening to me and my kids. What I actually did wrong. Knowing in my heart that I did nothing. It just feels as though I am being punished and punished hard.
    You are in mourning about how you wished it was. Unfortunately that is not your reality. Of course you did nothing to deserve this and it sucks when innocent people suffer. I don't know why innocent people suffer, I just know they do. You are letting your mind go back to the "good times" because you are normal. It's clinging to those good times because these times are too painful. I never want to make light of your pain. But as an objective outsider, I can see that you were in a relationship where you were getting crumbs. His selfishness, his drug dealings, his abusive language and actions, you deserve better than that. You will have it too eventually. There is no reason why you can't set a higher standard for yourself and when you meet someone that is also looking for a high quality person, then you have a match.

    You are thinking of yourself as a victim. " Why is this happening to me?" "I'm being punished". The only thing you did wrong is make a poor choice in men. Now you know better, and now you will choose better. You are not a victim so I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and take the lead in your life and know that you are an empowered woman, taking care of a previous mistake, and get mad, not sad. I know it hurts because your dream was so much better than this. The damage is done. It is being cleaned up. You have taken the first steps to a better life. I'm praying for your pain to ease. Keep your chin up and your steps forward.
    lovergirl247's Avatar
    lovergirl247 Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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    #79

    Feb 9, 2009, 05:38 PM

    He called today to get some things. I didn't know what to say when he asked if I would pack him some things. I packed what I felt like giving him and actually talked to him for about 5 minutes. Told him that I needed him to tell me what his plans are. He didn't say much and told me he had to think about things. How much time should I give him?
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #80

    Feb 9, 2009, 06:34 PM

    I am confused. I thought you had packed his things and they were sitting on the porch to be picked up by him. Why didn't you just say, everything is packed and waiting on you.

    What do you mean you need him to tell you what his plans are. Do you mean about picking up his things, or what he plans to do concerning you. You don't let him tell you what your future is going to be. You tell him.

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