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    isonesexymom27's Avatar
    isonesexymom27 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:19 AM
    My kids forgot my birthday Im so sad
    Yesterday it was my birthday 29 ,I have 4 girls 11,7,2,1, and my older girls forgot my birthday we where at the dentist yesterday around 2 pm and my 11 year old said oh today is your birthday right mom and I said yes ! I was waiting for her to say oh well happy birthday mom :( but no the whole day went by and it was 7 pm last night and still no happy birthday for mom so my husband got home at 7 30 pm he called my 7 and 11 year old to the living room and asked them why they haven't say happy birthday to mom and I just broke down in tears I was so hurt well I'm still hurting know I'm crying I'm just so sad and I can't believe they didn't even said happy birthday also my ex husband and his wife that I'm real good friends with them forgot to call me I always celebrate their birthday by making them a cake I always make people feel special on their be days or at least I call them and wish them a happy birthday but they just forgot about me :( I'm so sad it hurts a lot the only people that said happy birthday to me was my mom ,my sister that lives 3 hrs away from here in college and my husband .
    I'm not a bad mom I always put my kids before anything in the world I always go the extra mile for them always doing more for them always getting them more than what they need even my mom says I do way too much for my kids that I spoil them a lot it just hurts a lot that even that I do so much for them they couldn't even say a happy birthday mom :confused: I did let them know that I was real hurt by that they said sorry but that don't change anything I'm still hurt ,when I was a little girl I never forgot my moms birthday I would always save my lunch money for weeks to buy my mom a birthday card my mom was the most important thing in my life at that age .
    How would you guys feel if your kids forgot your birthday and what would you do any advice on how to heal my broken heart :confused:?
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #2

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:27 AM

    In my opinion birthdays are for children. Do we still celebrate birthdays in my house? Yes we do. My girls are 38 and 33 and we still get them a card and maybe a cake. I guess some people are more sensitive to this sort of thing. But remember, it is not the end of the world. If you really want to be saddened, think of all the people who cannot afford a birthday cake tonight and be thankful that your family is happy and healthy. I am not trying to be flippant here but things like birthdays need to be put into perspective. If it is bothering you this much, there seems to me to be an underlying issue that you need to address. What is it?
    isonesexymom27's Avatar
    isonesexymom27 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 21, 2009, 10:27 AM
    I know its not the end of the world but it just made me feel unapreciated when they dindt remenber my birthday
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 21, 2009, 01:36 PM

    Husbands and kids don't remember birthdays, do you post it on the calender, remind hubby to take the kids to get something.
    lorenawhiddon's Avatar
    lorenawhiddon Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 21, 2009, 01:47 PM

    What I do is remind them the day before and then they will are ember to tell you I also get myself a cake just like I would for theirs and they sing to me I guess if you get them use to it them they won't forget when they get old they are still young so maybe all they need is a push.
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
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    #6

    Jan 21, 2009, 02:02 PM

    I know it must hurt to have loved ones forget your birthday, but I think it is better than the year I turned 40 and my 6 year old made sure everyone she saw that day knew it.

    "My mom is 40 today! Don't you think 40 is old? How old is your mom? Wow, my mom is a LOT older than that!"

    Her kindergarten teacher felt pity, but couldn't stop laughing.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #7

    Jan 21, 2009, 02:27 PM

    I had no idea when my father's birthday was and still did not know when I went into labor with my son. My mother divorced him when I was 12 and kept reminding me while I was in labor that "Today's your father's birthday". I said "Huh?" She then told me to hang on and try to have the kid after midnight. He couldn't wait and came at 9:55PM on my father's birthday.

    Get a calendar and mark ALL the family members' birthdays on it so they can look forward to not only their birthday cakes, but Mommy's also!

    If it makes you feel any better, I could never remember when my mother's birthday was and she would tell me year after year. The only way I could remember it was 10 days after Valentine's Day. Go figure.
    isonesexymom27's Avatar
    isonesexymom27 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 21, 2009, 10:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Emland View Post
    I know it must hurt to have loved ones forget your birthday, but I think it is better than the year I turned 40 and my 6 year old made sure everyone she saw that day knew it.

    "My mom is 40 today! Don't you think 40 is old? How old is your mom? Wow, my mom is a LOT older than that!"

    Her kindergarten teacher felt pity, but couldn't stop laughing.
    Well that made feel better thanks a lot ;)
    ss_aa_rr_aa's Avatar
    ss_aa_rr_aa Posts: 32, Reputation: -4
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    #9

    Jan 22, 2009, 12:29 AM

    Happy birthday sweetie.. I donno about your kids I am not a mom but it's sad! But don't pay too much attention to their behavior I mean you are their mom of course but at their ages (young I mean) they see you as the great woman who does every thing to them but I guess they are too spoiled to actually feel happy for you or wish you a happy day.. at their age now they think of you as the rock that can take it.. and trust me the like to test you some times.. I mean maybe because you cried in front of them to them you failed at their test.. like "yes mom u r great but at some point u r just not the super lady" and to them finding a super mom who can take their every good and bad behaviors is want they want.. specially your 11 yrs old daughter.. she just doesn't want to grow up.. she need to be taught by you how to start grow up and be nice to others even their mom and dad! I mean if you don't teach her who will? My father and I have a very very lil' contact and I don't like him.. OK I love him.. but I always make him responsible for not teaching me how to be me and how to be polite and how to be a good person with others.. I had a tough time during my growing up period! So don't do that.. I know you are a great mom.. but you also need to remember it's your responsibility to teach your daughter and kids how to treat you even in your birthday.. and maybe like in your next b-day before two days you can start (in a funny way) asking them... what did you guys get for me? And stuff like that.. this way you will be teaching them that it's important the way they treat you as much as it's important for them they way you treat them! And about your ex and his wife... I say their net b-day OK say happy b-day to them but don't be so nice.. during normal days be as yourself (if you call yourself a nice person then be nice) :) but specially on christmas or b-days or thanksgiving or these holidays.. don't be so nice.. do what you have to do.. because when you be so nice people got spoiled by you and this way you will be the woman who can be pushed to her last limits! Don't let people take advantage or your good qualities.. always know that people have limits.. not will all other people but with some.. I am sure you have limit with some people in your life! So anyway :) happy birthday
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #10

    Jan 23, 2009, 11:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ss_aa_rr_aa View Post
    happy birthday sweetie.. i donno about ur kids iam not a mom but it's sad! but dont pay too much attention to their behavior i mean u r their mom ofcourse but at their ages (young i mean) they see u as the great woman who does every thing to them but i guess they r too spoiled to actually feel happy for u or wish u a happy day.. at their age now they think of u as the rock that can take it .. and trust me the like to test u some times.. i mean maybe coz u cried infront of them to them u failed at their test.. like "yes mom u r great but at some point u r just not the super lady" and to them finding a super mom who can take their every good and bad behaviors is want they want.. specially your 11 yrs old daughter.. she just doesn't want to grow up.. she need to be taught by you how to start grow up and be nice to others even their mom and dad! i mean if u dont teach her who will? my father and i have a very very lil' contact and i dont like him.. ok i love him.. but i always make him responsible for not teaching me how to be me and how to be polite and how to be a good person with others.. i had a tough time during my growing up period!! so dont do that.. i know u r a great mom.. but u also need to remember it's ur responsibility to teach ur daughter and kids how to treat u even in your birthday.. and maybe like in your next b-day before two days u can start (in a funny way) asking them... what did u guys get for me? and stuff like that .. this way u will be teaching them that it's important the way they treat u as much as it's important for them they way u treat them! and about ur ex and his wife... i say their net b-day ok say happy b-day to them but dont be so nice.. during normal days be as ur self (if u call ur self a nice person then be nice) :) but specially on christmas or b-days or thanksgiving or these holidays.. dont be so nice.. do what u have to do.. coz when u be so nice people got spoiled by you and this way you will be the woman who can be pushed to her last limits! dont let people take advantage or ur good qualities .. always know that people have limits .. not will all other people but with some.. iam sure u have limit with some people in your life! so anyway :) happy birthday
    Please do not use text speak on AMHD as a lot of people come to this site to read questions and answers. Your post was nice and all but extremely difficult to read. We'd prefer plain old English spelled out.
    gobe's Avatar
    gobe Posts: 27, Reputation: 3
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    #11

    Jan 23, 2009, 01:24 PM

    Happy birth day!
    Don't be sad I have a 2 year old my parents dyed I have only my brother (blood relatives) he forgot my son 1 and 2 birthday. I was hurt and I just told him without anger. If you would be in Canada I would invite you to my son birthday so this way he couldn't forgot his birthday. You could do the same. Next year a day before order a cake make sure they are there when you pick up and let them know that tomorrow mommy's birthday and we all will sit down and celebrate. They will be happy to sing happy birthday until you make your wish. Happy birth day!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Jan 23, 2009, 01:48 PM

    Rethink how you celebrate. Maybe do like we do -- the birthday person gets to choose dinner out for his birthday or for the coming weekend. My kids are in their 30s. Daniel still wants Arby's and Jeremy still prefers Chinese buffet. No one forgets because we all look forward to the food!

    The family birthday /anniversary calendar is a good idea too.

    Stop being a martyr and make some changes so everyone gets to be a special person on his or her birthday!
    sakbir2's Avatar
    sakbir2 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jan 24, 2009, 09:58 AM

    Oh I really went through that myself . In my family we used to celebrate each other's bdays at night ( just acake and a happy birthday song but it was really warm). When I married I expected to go on the same habit with my family in law . I wished happy be days and was keen on giving them presents but when mine came , none even cared to call. What was worst my husband forgot it so when my family called me at night he was embarrassed like what your children felt but he didn't try to explain why .I felt so bad and cried a lot that night and the same thing happened every year . I got hurt but I try to cope with it.I say I 'll never celebrate his but I do and I am still hoping.
    However that doesn't mean that he doesn't love me or care about me. I feel other ways .
    So that doesn't mean that your children don't love you maybe they had their reasons and they don't look at things the same way you do.
    An advice , to avoid the disappointement , remind them of you're a day or two before . I know it's not want we want but it helps avoid the bad surprise. ;-) Take it easy and continue to give one day I'm sure you'll receive.
    As for your children
    YamiMami's Avatar
    YamiMami Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Nov 1, 2011, 10:50 PM
    I had actually replied a thorough reply but accidentally deleted it. But I have to say, I know what you are experiencing as I am going through the same feelings right now. Yesterday, on Halloween, was my birthday and my almost 9 year old son acted very nonchalantly about it as well. I understand your feelings as I felt very much unappreciated and was(and still am) very hurt. I am a single mother and therefore there is no significant other to remind or coax him into doing something for mom... so the responsibility lies on me to teach him the importance of making others feel special just like others do to him. I have to admit I felt the same... unappreciated and doubted what I have been teaching him. However, asking yourself if there is any other underlying issues at hand is not a bad thing. I know for myself, I have recently felt overwhelmingly stressed and pulled in a million directions by work, family and friends, which has me overly sensitive as well. Anyhow, I know I am a good mom and you are probably too... but can't take away from the hurt feelings this experience has us feeling. We'll get over it and this will teach our children never to forget a mother's special day. Best of luck!! Keep me posted.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #15

    Nov 2, 2011, 07:44 AM
    This thread is from 2009 - please keep an eye on the dates.
    YamiMami's Avatar
    YamiMami Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Nov 2, 2011, 07:56 AM
    Thanks... I did notice that after the fact! This was my 1st time ever replying to anythg of such but thanks for thinking it was so important to post your reply.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #17

    Nov 2, 2011, 08:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by YamiMami View Post
    Thanks....I did notice that after the fact! This was my 1st time ever replying to anythg of such but thanks for thinking it was so important to post ur reply.
    I don't understand your attitude but, yes, it is important to keep an eye on the dates. The only people who will see this thread and your addition to it are the people who have already answered. It is also asked that members NOT use text speak.

    New threads are visible to everyone.
    tsilver1's Avatar
    tsilver1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Nov 4, 2012, 03:40 AM
    Who cares about the dates of the posts? If the post help to answer or help someone on need, then so be it. It's nice to know there are, or have been others out there with the same issues. Thanks for all the posts here. I truly enjoyed reading them.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #19

    Nov 5, 2012, 06:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tsilver1 View Post
    Who cares about the dates of the posts? If the post help to answer or help someone on need, then so be it. It's nice to know there are, or have been others out there with the same issues. Thanks for all the posts here. I truly enjoyed reading them.
    Thanks for your input. Judy is right about dates, so please note the date before you post on an ancient thread that is now sitting in the archives. I will now close this thread, so it doesn't attract anyone else.

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