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Donroro80 · Dec 25, 2008, 10:09 AM

:(:confused: me and my girl has been together for over 6 years. Break up twice. Has a 5 years old daughter and a house witch we are about to loose. My girl has a lot of mail friends that I don't even know. Beside working, she spend most of her time texting or talking to them. I don't really have a problem with that, but the fact that they call her very late at night, I'm talking 12:00am 1:ooam o'clock in the morning and she always try to hide when talking to them. After our first break up, she finally admit she kiss him not once, but twice some guy she try to convince me was suppose to be her friend. It has been 3 weeks now since we break up again over guys calling her late at night. Now she has been going out Friday and Saturday every weekend leaving home with my daughter. Home girl treat me like , but I can't see myself go on with out her. I can find a million reason to let her go, but I always end crying and begging for her to stay. I made twice her money, but I still have to hang my little bite of clothes in my daughter closet cause we let her sister live in the our 3rd room while she has a closet over full of clothes. She get whatever she ask for, but she will choose her friend a million time before me any way. I really want to get out in this relationship, but I can't do it cause I have to see her because of my daughter. Up thing is we leaving together and I think I could ever get over her I don't move away. Please help?

LifeChangesMan · Dec 25, 2008, 10:34 AM

Hey Hey,

It's kind of breaks my heart to read this is what your thinking about on Christmas but, hey we're here to try and help you, so here it goes.

If you want to get out a relationship man, do it. There's going to be repercussions and you know that already no matter what side of the break up you are on, but if you can sit here and tell us you have a million reasons to leave, then you should leave, just as if it were the opposite we would tell you to stay! Listen life's too short for you to be miserable, no matter what happens you'll still have your wonderful daughter man, that's all you probably need right now.

Maybe, the break up and you leaving will snap your spouse back to reality and what is really important, and that these guys and fake attention she's getting isn't anything important to her, as compared to her family.

I'd say try your best to move on, especially if your sitting here telling us you want to, do it. What's the worst that could happen... you become unbelievably happy with your new life for you and your daughter... hmmm...

Happy Holidays,
Yours Truly,
LCM

talaniman · Dec 25, 2008, 11:14 AM

Such a sad story, but the good part is you have a beautiful daughter to help raise, and can rebuild your life around her, and let the ex do as she please. Get your own place, and get started.

liz28 · Dec 25, 2008, 11:56 AM

Your ex will always be apart of your life because you two have a child together and your going have to deal with her at least until your child is 18.

Your going have to separate your feelings for her and look at her as a long term friend because if anything your should get along and remain friends. I hope that she don't try to separate you from your child and bad mouth you to your daughter.

Your unhappy and if you continue to stay you'll be more unhappy. Then eventually it will take toll on your mental.

You did nothing wrong here and tried to stick with her even though you knew you shouldn't. You tried to make it work but it take two and right now she isn't on the same page as you, let alone the same book. She wants to hide and lie about things and in a relationship you should do the opposite of that.

You need to detach yourself from her but not your child. Move on and it's going hurt at first but in time your going be all right. Just be there for your daughter and take care of her.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 25, 2008, 01:15 PM

Easy, get a court order for visit and child support, you can even arrange to have a third party do the child exchange or use a state approved exchange location.

But you pay for the child support and don't worry about what else she does.

Donroro80 · Dec 28, 2008, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan

Hey Hey,

It's kind of breaks my heart to read this is what your thinking about on Christmas but, hey we're here to try and help you, so here it goes.

If you want to get out a relationship man, do it. There's going to be repercussions and you know that already no matter what side of the break up you are on, but if you can sit here and tell us you have a million reasons to leave, then you should leave, just as if it were the opposite we would tell you to stay! Listen life's too short for you to be miserable, no matter what happens you'll still have your wonderful daughter man, that's all you probably need right now.

Maybe, the break up and you leaving will snap your spouse back to reality and what is really important, and that these guys and fake attention she's getting isn't anything important to her, as compared to her family.

I'd say try your best to move on, especially if your sitting here telling us you want to, do it. What's the worst that could happen... you become unbelievably happy with your new life for you and your daughter...hmmm...

Happy Holidays,
Yours Truly,
LCM

Year I have a million reason, but I just can't convince myself I can live without her. It's like I forget every hurtful moment right now. My only option I guess is to get away for a couple of weeks.

LifeChangesMan · Dec 28, 2008, 04:27 PM

"Deep Faith Eliminates All Fear."

Donroro80 · Jan 1, 2009, 08:26 PM

I have 2 more days before I leave town. I honestly don't want to leave, but I already quit my job and have a job waiting for me as a truck driver driving 48 states. Not to longer ago she was in the bathroom, she call me and remind me about something good we used to do and say why we still talking about this. This woman don't know what I'm going through right now. We never I mean never get physical not to even call each other name. We were engaged and I was planning to get married this December or next December. We were friend for over two years and we got together when she was 18 and I was 22. She complain about how she didn't have a chance to enjoy her teenage life, I feel like I'm responsible for that cause I got her pregnant when she was 18. Thing used to be good, but man she has been treating so bad I even think low of myself. Even though I know danm well I better go, but I wonder if I should just stay single jut in case she change her mind years down the road. She is 24 I'm 28, I'm not a party person. I'm ready to settle down, but I'm still in love with her.

Nestorian · Jan 1, 2009, 08:37 PM

Difficult situation brother. If she don't want you then let her go, you did what you could for her. If she feels that she missed out on her teenage years, that is her issues to work through. See she could have said she wanted you two to wait, but she didn't' did she? She didn't' get pregnant alone, so yes you do have a responsibility to the child. I think that's what you were talking about, I got a bit lost in the writing.

So, let her go, and live your life for yourself. Stay single if you want, but it really don't matter. What she decides is up to her, and really doesn't involve you, unless it is about the child.

I hope that helps buddy. Take care.

Donroro80 · Jan 2, 2009, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Nestorian

Difficult situation brother. If she don't want you then let her go, you did what you could for her. If she feels that she missed out on her teenage years, that is her issues to work through. See she could have said she wanted you two to wait, but she didn't' did she?? She didn't' get prego alone, so yes you do have a responsibility to the child. I think thats what you were talking about, i got a bit lost in the writing.

So, let her go, and live your life for yourself. Stay single if you want, but it really don't matter. What she decides is up to her, and really doesn't involve you, unless it is about the child.

I hope that helps buddy. take care.

Yeah man I'm sure I will be OK. All that matter here for me is my daughter. Even though what she does stoll bother me, but I won't let that break me. Leaving or not, I'm going to have to see her because of my daughter. Well life will go on