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drakotamer1987 · Dec 31, 2008, 09:51 AM

I don't know how to strt or find the person how would I do so

BMI · Dec 31, 2008, 10:07 AM

Let me know when you find this very elusive answer:)

Synnen · Dec 31, 2008, 10:14 AM

Well, how about asking your guy friends if they want to get with your wife?

450donn · Dec 31, 2008, 10:17 AM

So you are saying that your wife does not believe in the marriage vows? So if that is the case, simply go on the internet find a swingers site, and start searching for someone. Just be prepared for the consequences. If you are not comfortable letting your wife screw anybody and everybody then I can see nothing but disaster from this sort of actions.

smoothy · Dec 31, 2008, 10:26 AM

Is she wanting a FFM or an MFM threesome?

Synnen · Dec 31, 2008, 10:43 AM

The point is this:

Most couples can not handle a threesome. They can't. They don't set ground rules in advance, they don't talk about it enough ahead of time, they don't make plans--and even if they DO do those things, they forget that there is a third person that needs to have THEIR say in the matter as well.

You both need to outline your expectations of this with each other. You need to TALK about it. You need to make RULES about it. You need to discuss what will happen that has unforseen consequences--what happens with a pregnancy, for example.

The word "stop" has to mean it, with no reprecussions or disappointment on anyone's part. Neither one of you can be the jealous type.

Fantasies are one thing---acting out fantasies usually isn't as good as the fantasy itself.

As far as finding the person---you just DO. You meet someone that you think might be interested, and you ASK them.

I highly suggest you do not use friends for this, since they probably won't BE your friends afterwards.

bronzebabe · Dec 31, 2008, 11:05 AM

I agree with Synnen. Most couples fantasize about the three-some, but when it actually happens, it messes up the relationship very badly. Example: a very happy married couple I know tried it. He brought a female into the marriage, his wife was fine with it. After about six weeks, she left her husband of several years to be with the woman in their threesome. It Backfires! Don't do it!

talaniman · Dec 31, 2008, 11:18 AM

Let her do the picking.

krispedha · Dec 31, 2008, 01:59 PM

That's interesting...

N0help4u · Dec 31, 2008, 02:49 PM

I was thinking more along the lines of you find another woman and say you are ready or is she wanting another male?

I would say as synnen said you need to get into all the ground rules and precautions. If she wants a three some with another man then do you get a turn with another female?

TexasParent · Dec 31, 2008, 08:30 PM

Speaking from personal experience, fantasy is far different from reality. My ex-wife and I engaged in a 3-some with another woman after going over ground rules and discussing it for months.

When we finally did we enjoyed the moment pretty well, but it wasn't as good as the fantasy as you have to take everyone's needs into account; but it was the aftermath which really shook us. While the 3-some wasn't my idea, she got very jealous from that time forward even though I followed every rule. She started to have trust issues which were rooted in her own insecurities.

Heck I even had jealousy issues when she went out with her girlfriends shopping; thinking they may be getting together for sex.

Unless you are both very secure people and I would suggest of a more mature age where you truly know yourselves and each other, I would advise against it. I don't know of a couple who has engaged in a 3-some who is still together today, perhaps the desire for a 3-some is a symptom of a relationship that has some troubles already.

Fantasy between two people can enhance their intimacy. Reality between 3 people can be very risky; too risky if you value your relationship.

Starbucks21 · Dec 31, 2008, 10:39 PM

Well to answer your questions internet like Swingers, Free Adult Chat & Adult Personals Site - Adult FriendFinder or ask your friends or if you live in certain places... you may be able to find a legal prostitute (be very careful with any of these and the methods you use them)

Be cautious with either way

You really are playing with fire though when you mess with threesomes... they can be very volatile in relationships

Synnen · Jan 1, 2009, 11:29 AM

Just want to point out that I DO know couples who have made it through the threesome thing.

But--it takes ABSOLUTE trust. You have to believe ABSOLUTELY that your partner loves you, and finds you to be the sexiest person in the world. There is no room for a smidgen of doubt. There is no room for jealousy. You have to believe, honestly and wholeheartedly, that your partner is gaga for you, and only you. And that works for BOTH partners. Seriously. If you are not BOTH in that place of absolute trust and love--don't bother with a threesome. It will explode in your face, and it will cause issues, and it will probably end your relationship.

Not very many couples can do it.

Choux · Jan 1, 2009, 05:41 PM

d, If you and you're wife are under 35, don't even consider it.

If she is bored with her sex life, both of you go for some sex counselling. An investment in your future happiness, both of you. :)

Good Luck,

KellyAlexander · Jan 30, 2009, 09:47 AM

Don't do it!! It will ruin a already messed up marriage. If your wife wants someone else and doesn't love you enough to not share you then something is wrong buddy! Don't do the threesome... it will totally mess things up in the long run!

chrissymarie · Jan 30, 2009, 09:57 AM

Definitel let her pick somebody... leave everything up to her. You don't want any of the blame to fall back on you if anything goes wrong. Let her make all the moves.