He does have a job, but it's only 28 hours a week. We live in Litchfield, IL. Not sure if you can help him considering where we live. Not sure if we can give out email addresses on here.

What is his usual occupation? Does he have special skills? More than a h.s. diploma?

It's not the best time to be job hunting with too many people losing jobs every day. I know where Litchfield is, and will Google a bit for you and even make some calls after I find out more about his skill level and job requirements. Don't post your email address here.

>threads merged<

At 18 months for the oldest the kids neither have a clue what sex is... nor will they remember any of it by the time they do have a clue. Now if they were years older that would be totally different.

She may not know what sex is, but it is inappropriate for them to be having sex in the same room with her awake or asleep. I have gotten a lot of responses and you were not the first one to tell me this. Please remember this is my house, my rules. Enough on this subject.

Are you asking to have the thread closed?

I will not do so if you are just going to start another thread along the same vein on another board. That's just silly.

If you don't like the advice you're getting, I'm sorry. What YOU feel is appropriate and what some of the rest of us feel to be appropriate are two different things.

Yes, it's your house, so your rules.

Just remember that when you don't see your grandchildren because your daughter won't bring them to see you at YOUR house because of YOUR rules (after they're on their own again, of course)---and because of the hard feelings this will cause.

And don't feel at all surprised when the rules at THEIR house include you not influencing their children.

You've drawn a hard line---and if you aren't flexible, you're going to feel the consequences of taking a hard line in the long run.

However---if you really want this thread closed, please let me know. I will close it.

I will, however, not condone you starting another thread on the subject elsewhere on these boards.

I just want people to leave me alone on this. I've received enough replies, thank you. It looks like you don't think I should have a say about things in my own house. When they get their own house, they can do as they please and even though I may not agree with some of their rules, I will respect them just as I expect them to respect my rules while they are here. I am not saying they can't have sex, I just expect them to exercise good judgement when doing so and having sex while their kids are in the room whether awake or asleep is not good judgement. Just as you folks are entitled to your opinions, I am entitled to mine. How can you end the thread on this and not allow me to start another thread on the same subject? Are you the moderator on here or something? What happened to freedom of speech? Am I not entitled to that like everyone else is? I am 51 years old and I have been a mother for almost 31 years. Please do not treat me like I am a dummy. I did not come here for advice. I just wanted to know if anyone else on here felt the same as I did. I did not ask to be ganged up on and told what to do in my own home. I will not be saying anything more on this as I have had enough. Thank you for letting me have my say. I know what I am going to do about this situation here at home.

Yes, Synnen is a moderator.

Are you saying you don't want my help with finding a job for your son-in-law? His finding a second job or a good full-time one will solve your problem.

It's not that I don't think you should have a say in your own house.

I just think that if you're asking THEM to be celibate, you'd better be willing to be so yourself. There is really NO time for them to have sex from what you've said here. I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty ticked off if someone told me what I could or could not do in my marriage bed. Yes, it's your house, but it's THEIR kid.

Either way--I'm not sure, still, whether you want the thread closed.

If you don't want any more replies, the only way to have that is to close the thread.

If you only want to hear from people who support you on this, I suggest you talk to your friends, because you will get people on BOTH sides of the issue here.

Lioness, you answered your own questions. In your original post you asked if it was illegal... no it is not. You felt it was, at the very least, inappropriate... for many people it would be, but given the children's ages the point was made that from a developmental standpoint, they are not in any emotional danger, so others would not be concerned.

However, from your comfort level it is inappropriate... fair enough, then say something to them if you want to... tell them exactly what you have just posted if you feel that will make a difference in the situation... offer to watch the kids once in awhile so they can have some time alone, whatever you think would help you to be more comfortable. At the very least, you would have made them fully aware of how you feel on the matter. You have two choices that have been suggested to you... speak up or ignore it... the choice is yours.

Yes, wondergirl, I do want your help on this matter. Any help getting my son-in-law a new job with better pay and more hours would be appreciated. It was not me who said it was illegal. Fr_chuck, an expert on this web site said that in a post made by another person, pink4life252. I suggest that you contact fr_chuck who is a Christian expert here that it is illegal.

How old is your daughter ?

Not intending to be confrontational here, but if you weren't interested in hearing the opinions of others then why did you post the question, not once but more than once? As was mentioned if you want only answers supporting your belief, only talk to friends the believe the same way you do. If you want unbiased opinions we are good for that here.


I sense a major attitude here. It would be wise to entertain the ideas of others. Look what happened to Brittney Spears, surrounding yourself with only those who agree with you has major downfalls.

Maybe I'm offbase here, but you say you and your husband don't have sex anymore. Does this factor into your situation at all? Does the fact that your daughter and her husband have sex remind you that you and your husband don't? I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to determine if there are other reasons you are so upset about this.

You may need to go back and read that thread again because fr_chuck never knew the age pink4life252 was referring about and they never responded back with the age. He also said they would have a problem with social services as did others have suggested given a certain age. I see no type of neglect the kids are being subject to but in the coming months they should refrain from this activity in front of the 18 month old. As parents you knew what to expect from two married adults( one being your daughter) moving into your house or even if they just stayed a few nights. If you would have laid ground rules before they came and they didn't comply that's a different story, but it seems you didn't.

The fact that my hubby and I don't have sex anymore has nothing to do with the situation here at my house. I just don't think it's a good idea for them to have sex with their babies in the room. It is an exercise in poor judgement on their part. I can't believe that there are people here who think it's OK. Would any of you feel comfortable having sex with your babies in the room?

My husband and I don't have any babies yet so I can't really answer that, but we have two extra bedrooms in our house, so it won't be an issue when we do have babies

The PM feature isn't activated for new members.

With out asking them how do you know that they didn't put a sheet up to cover the bars for the child to see! Maybe offer to sit with the kids if they need some "alone" time! It will be worse if they din't feel that way about one another and be arguing! But I understand what you are feeling

Thank you for quoting me, but as I remember I have never posted to this thread.

I will relate GA law on the issue.

In GA it would be illegal to curse in front of a minor child even.

If you have sexual conduct or even show your body parts to a child, this can be considered a crime.

Now there are excepts, changing of clothes in a public bathing facility.
And I would assume changing clothes at home

But sexual conduct, even if it does not involve the child is a listed offense. I have never know it to be inforced in the state for in the home of the parents but are grounds used by DCFS ( children's services) for child abuse and neglect. And for custody hearings in court.

While for a very young child, I am sure it is done often, and I am sure it is done with blankets covering many times more than people will admit.

In the end, If it was my home and I did not like it, I would have it easy, my way or the highway, as the owner of the home, tell them in YOUR house that is not the way it is done.