My boyfriend of 2 years told me he doesn’t love me anymore. It was completely out of the blue. We had a very close relationship, were each other’s best friends and even discussed marriage (we’re in our 20’s). On that night he was acting very cold towards me, something which in 2 years was a side I had never seen before. I asked him what was wrong and he blurted out that he didn’t love me, I’m not the girl he wants to marry and that he was confused and didn’t know what to do. He said that he thought we should go on a break, but I was so hurt and shocked at what he’d just said that I told him if he really meant what he’d said then we should just finish it. He agreed. I’m heartbroken and my whole world seems like it’s destroyed. I am still so in love with him and think about him every second of everyday.

3 days after the break up, he sent me a text saying;
“I know you’re gona hate me saying this but I love you and I want you. I’m such a mess right now. All I know is that I’ve hurt you so much and there is something missing inside me – I need you back to make me ok again. But I understand if you never wana speak to me again”
My friends and family have not allowed me to contact him because they said that what he did was so harsh it cannot be forgiven by merely a text, and that if he really meant what he text then he would be making much grander gestures to sort things out with me. He has not contacted me since. I have also heard that he is out drinking with his friends every night, which doesn’t give the impression that he’s missing me.

What should I do?

Move on girl.

Parents say no
Friends say no

It's strange how time heals all wounds (believe it or not)

Here's what I'd suggest
Tell him how you feel (even days later now)
And then say, you're right lets have a break for a while (weeks months, however long it takes)
Eventually, you'll find someone
Or he'll contact you back on the first day

Either way, win win :)

Sounds like he is confused or stressed about something. Follow your gut feeling if you think you want to go back to him ask to meet up privatley and get down to the bottom of what is causing his stress. Tell him that even though he says he wants to be with you and you want to be with him that you are not getting back with him until he figures out his confusion and he knows what he wants. As for him going out to the bar pl handle things in different ways some like to hide their pain and go lashomg out doing things to gte that certain thing off their mind because they feel like they messd up, others cry about it and hide in their bedroom for days and some act angry act angry at the world. Don't call him when he is drunk though call him when he is sober. Or better yet wait for him to call you if your family will allow it. And in that case its your families job to give their opinions and show their support in w/e desiscion you make don't follow your family follow your gut feelings.

Thanks for that friendly answer
Even though the actual friends say no
More confusion :confused:
Read my response above again

Good idea to ask his feelings too
That's about it
AS for the bar, nah! He's just having a good time, not thinking about anything

Maybe but you never know. Now is it her friends saying no or is it his? And by him going out and having a good time isn't that the point to not think of anything. Along with his obvious confusion with his feelings and the break up and he realized he made a mistake id say that in a way he is going out to not think of anything or maybe even in the end he will figure out his feelings towards his confusion and his relationship. Trust me hangin with the buddies always helps. And that's what he is doing. Trying to not think about anything.

This is one of those, wait a week and see quotes ;) :)

Hmm yes indeed that's why she needs to let him know that she sint getting back with him until he figures out why he is having these twisted emotions. But she still needs to let him know that she still loves him but she don't want to go through one of these stages he is going through again and they can't be together until he figures it out!

Agree with that

But I'll provide cold hard truths
You can provide a shoulder

Lol I did I just can't give you any more rep because I already gave you some lol

And what cold hard truths are we speaking of you act as if he is cheating on her he is just confused with his emotions clearly he loves her and wants to be with her he is just lashing out in a different way with his emotions. Honestly we really can't tell wats going on through his head or w/e only she will know that when she asks him wats going on. I just try and stay on the positive side of things I didn't know that the truths always had to be so cold. Why can't the truths be warm?

I'm not sure I'm staying yet (as you probably know)
But if I do go (don't smile yet)
I think you should be a bit tougher, people require help first then the soft approach

Re: topic
How dare he says this! are you OK?

Perhaps is how dare he say this another topic of hers? I guess that I am just the one who always tries to be on the positive. Unless the answers are obvious that something is wrong or not right then I lay down my harsh words. What do you mean you don't know if your staying lol I like your company! I look forward to your replies. Every opinion matters and all I am doing is stating my opinion as are you!

Dear,

I totally agree with your friends and family. If your (ex) boyfriend was really regretting what he said or did to you, he could have used stronger gestures.

Using harsh words, asking for break ups and not giving appropriate reasons and acting all of a sudden. It all means that the guy is not taking the relationship as seriously as you. He is just taking you for granted.

He is texting you. But I could not find a word that was asking for forgiveness in his text. He does not seem to be regretting at all. He says he need you back to make him OK. He sounds selfish to me.

I know it's heart piercing when it comes to break ups especially during the first few weeks. And it's really tempting to grab that silly mobile phone and start texting your ex - but don't ! It will only make you feel worse, believe me. If you really can't let go of him, let him suffer now. Let him suffer to the degree that he comes back crawling to you and once he is back the victory is yours. You will be the boss in your relationship.

Go out, dress to kill, flirt with his best friends, pretend you are cool with the break up (even though it's crushing you inside) and never talk about your (ex) boyfriend with his friends because your ex is going to ask his friends about you and if he finds out that all you talked about with his friends was about him then he is going to think that you are doing everything to just make him jealous.

Good luck !

It is agreed he should have stated his feelings diffrently instead of texting them! And I never looked at it through your point cloud. Very interesting. And it makes sense. He shld have apologized.

Well at least I'm not that bad! Lol :)

Anyway, it's covered
Tell feelings
Ask what's happening
Wait, for response

I'd say disregard all that stuff now
Just do the above
Although no need to be sadistic about it :cool:

Yea lol kim I don't think I would let him suffer either! But it is a good point that he only contacted her through text and he didn't even apologize but yet you have to think that he is confused and most likley he still don't know what he want he just knows that he don't want to be so meant to her because he does care. And he is just emotional lol.

Hey guys, this is just an update:

It has been 16 days since he sent me that text, and he has had no more contact with me. I didn't reply to it or contact him in anyway (which I am super proud of, & quite frankly I don't know how I've managed it, especially during some gut wrenchingly weak moments). I thought that considering what he said to me was so hurtful and tactless, that a single selfish text message such as the one he sent, didn't warrant a reply from me.

I got an amazing book Its Called a Breakup Because Its Broken which is really helping me build strength day by day. Don't get me wrong, every time my phone beeps I jump to it wishing it were him asking for my forgiveness. But as each day passes and he doesn't come back, the realisation is growing that he doesnt want to come back, and Im better off without someone that doesnt want me.

Everyone told me that my boyfriend isn't right for me and that he was controlling and abusive. So what did I do? I broke up with him. He fought for me back and we eventually got back together. I just needed my space to know he is what I wanted. What happens when I take him back? I throw away all those people who wouldn't accept the man I love. I move in with him and move 100 miles away from all my family and friends. Just for him to tell me 4 months later he isn't sure about us and is scared that he is throwing his life away for me. (This was the same week of our 2 year anniversy) so we took a week off.

I drove up to my moms house and stayed with her. We talked every night for a 5/10 min period. Once that week was up he told me that he missed me sooooo much and I came back. He wanted to also make sure that him needing space didn't ruin the way I feel about him. He just needed time to sort out what he wanted out of his life and the conclusion was... he only wanted me. Now, things couldn't be better. He provides for me we got engaged and are planning a wedding next November.

I think that is just something men go through. The fear of losing their freedom. My mom accepts and loves him, my friends all got over it and said that they are proud that we stuck it out. Maybe you need a week apart for him to realize that he isn't throwing away his life, he is simply starting a new one, with you in it.

Good luck girl. If you want him, go get him. Make sure he knows that he can't do that to you again though. Make sure he knows he hurt you. Don't let him get off to easy... but if your heart tells you to take him back... then give it a second chance. If it doesn't work out... he isn't the one.

Trust me follow your heart... you will be sorry if you don't. I would have been.

I know its been awhile since you posted this
But as for the topic. I'm going through something very similar
I was with my boyfriend for about almost 3 years and bam "i dont love you" is what he told me. He told me he hated me! I know I don't deserve this. No one does because its so painful and selfish. Im sorry that this happened to you. I know exactly how that feels and as I read your story I realized this should only make me stronger and everyone else who has gone through the same thing. As for him I guess he's realized that by saying that he really messed our bond and everything that we had, he calls me and texts me everyday sometimes ill respond back but I really think I should probably stop talking to him for good. Im scared it will happen again if I give him another opportunity. I love him so much and if I stop talking to him for good I'm sure I'm going to hurt but as for my feelings and dignity perhaps its not best if I stay with him.