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    glenn84's Avatar
    glenn84 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:21 AM
    My girlfriend(That I very much love) wants me to leave her alone
    Hi everyone my name is Glenn and I have been an emotional train wreck the last week or so. I am 24 years old and my girlfriend(or ex.. I am confused) is 22 years old. We have been together for almost 5 years and just last week she told me that she wants to be left alone and needs some space to breathe. Now bear in mind I have always been a bit jealous because she is the most gorgeous girl in the world. I would always want to talk to her because I can never stop thinking about her and she is a very busy girl... She works full time and goes to school full time and she's also in the Air Force National guard. From the first day we held each other I knew she was the one for me... I would have dreams of getting married with her. I actually asked her one day if she ever saw herself marrying me in the near future and she said that she is not thinking about that right now because she is so busy with school, work and the Airforce. She has always said that she loves me and she never wants to be without me and one day she took it a step further when we were being passionate and said "I never want you to leave me". Their parents are very cool with me and they even let me sleep in her bed one night because I had too much to drink on her fathers birthday! I love this girl with all my heart... And just last week she told me that she wants me to leave her alone because I am always all over her. I admit that I am because we barely see each other much because we are both very busy with work and school and I always like to know how she's doing. I admit I've made my share of mistakes in the past but I think that's what makes us human... She also sometimes gets angry with me and yells things I know she does not mean.. Like the other night I called her around 1 30 in the morning and she yelled at me over the phone for waking her up and accidentally woke up her parents(I was so mad at myself that I couldn't sleep that night). She has told me that if I keep trying to come at her that is only going to push her away even more and that I need to leave her alone... I know from past experiences that when she's mad at me she will tell me to give her space and I would give her space. But this time is different I have been trying to talk to her about what's wrong and trying to come up with a solution on how we can fix this, she doesn't even answer any of my texts or phone calls so we could talk. I have always given her flowers and Ive given her cards that have been handwritten by me with poems of love... I can't even count how many I've written in the last 4-5 years we've been together. She told me the other day that she doesn't feel the same way anymore about(which really hurt!) and that I need to give her space to breathe. I sent her a text that said "I love you with all my heart and I will do whatever you ask of me... I cannot see myself without you and I will do whatever it takes to better myself as a person, whenever you need to talk to someone I am always there for you". A couple of days pass by and nothing... I am really starting to do bad at school because of all this. I hate not being able to hold her or talk to her at night and tell her sweet dreams. I cannot see myself with anyone else but her. We have always said that wet would be together forever but I am really starting to have bad thoughts entering my mind. I really worry about her all the time and I always tell her to be careful when she's driving or if she's going out to hang out with her best friend(which is a girl). I never thought it would come to this I have done everything I can to show her how much I love her and I even said I was sorry for not giving her the space she needed... I even told her I was a complete idiot. I haven't heard from her in two whole days and she used to always text me when she was on her way to school and call me at least twice a day. I am in a state of shock at this present time and its so hard for me because I am so confused about the whole situation. I have a paper and finals this week for my economics and Financial Accounting classes and I have no desire in doing that right now but I have to push myself if I want to become president one day(majoring in Political Science). She means the world to me and I miss her very much and she knows this... But I have decided I will not call her or text her anymore... I need to appear strong to her and not act like such a wimp because I know girls do not find that attractive. I promised her I will change and that I will be here whenever she wants to talk... What do you guys think I should do? I am at a dead end.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:26 AM

    Just leave her alone and give her a chance to miss you.

    You are making her run, she has to have room to move and be close to you, she can't do that if you are smothering her.

    Find some new outlets, she will come around when she is ready not when you are. You sound really insecure right now, find something that you can do FOR YOU.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #3

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:28 AM

    Hey man. Do what she asks and give her space.

    A couple of words and movie lines are not going to fix this. All you are going to do in the end is push her far far away.

    So Give her SPACE

    Go No contact. And try and get on with your life.

    If someone says they don't feel the same way. Take that as a break. And get busy
    All the love poems and flowers in the world will not change someone's feelings

    It will just make you look needy and pus them away.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:32 AM

    She has asked to be left alone, so that's what you do.
    glenn84's Avatar
    glenn84 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:36 AM
    Very true! I think that's the problem she never really got a chance to miss me because we would talk everyday. I have told her everything I could possibly think of. It is very hard for me to do because I am so close to her but I will have to apply the no contact rule from now on... I am just so confused and sad at the same time... I wish we could just talk about what is wrong. I was even planning on taking her on a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean islands at the end of the month and asking her to marry me! I had it all planned out too...
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #6

    Dec 5, 2008, 10:42 AM

    You are missing the red flag, you didn't need us to tell you about your relationship. She was direct and told you what she needed from you. You have been with this woman for five years you owe her the respect of acknowledging her concerns and respecting them as well. You both have very full lives, you need to stick by the no contact rule. You will be looking for any excuse to break it, but let her come to you.
    glenn84's Avatar
    glenn84 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:09 PM

    I know what I need to do now thanks everyone for responding. It's just a horrible feeling not being able to talk to the girl you love. But I have to be strong and respect her decision and do what she asked of me in the first place. I really thank you guys for giving me some insight, I have never been so confused in my life... And I really have nobody else to talk to... Thanks again.
    LSHS65's Avatar
    LSHS65 Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Dec 5, 2008, 07:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by glenn84 View Post
    I know what i need to do now thanks everyone for responding. It's just a horrible feeling not being able to talk to the girl you love. But I have to be strong and respect her decision and do what she asked of me in the first place. I really thank you guys for giving me some insight, I have never been so confused in my life... And I really have nobody else to talk to..... Thanks again.
    Dude, my relationship is very very similar and it is hard for me too. I am now deciding to be more distant and it SUCKS! I feel the same about my love too, I am just learning how to be distant and be loving at the same time.
    face_reality's Avatar
    face_reality Posts: 22, Reputation: 9
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    #9

    Dec 6, 2008, 12:08 AM

    Dude this relationship is over! She right out told you that she does not feel same about you anymore. What do you want this girl to do to make you understand it, burn down your house? Also, stop pouring your heart, giving gifts or flowers, it is called begging. This girl gave you 5 years and you blow it. Now your only option is to stop all forms of communication and have same pride and move on.
    Dare81's Avatar
    Dare81 Posts: 264, Reputation: 44
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    #10

    Dec 6, 2008, 04:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by glenn84 View Post
    I know what i need to do now thanks everyone for responding. It's just a horrible feeling not being able to talk to the girl you love. But I have to be strong and respect her decision and do what she asked of me in the first place. I really thank you guys for giving me some insight, I have never been so confused in my life... And I really have nobody else to talk to..... Thanks again.
    Part of love is letting go.If she doesn't want you to be there for her then don't be, am sure you can find better things to do with your time.Its hard to move on but you have no other option but to move on.
    aray7254's Avatar
    aray7254 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Feb 23, 2009, 07:03 PM
    Hey,

    I know it sucks... I'm sort of going through the same thing. We literally went from one day to being happy, texting, sending pictures just everything... to 2 days later she was wigging out and needed time and space so she wouldn't do anything insanely impulsive... 2 days later she tells me she wants a break. She's at Lackland... at Tech School for the Air Force (She's also in the Air National Guard) At first I was hurt, lost, I didn't know where it came from. We were fine, there were no signs... then I was thinking about everything she said to me while we were together I mean everything... did she mean it? A close friend of mine told me no contact, and I tried... but my phone is weird... it sends texts to the wrong people ever since I dropped it in the snow... so texts to other people would go to her... so then we would start talking because myself control was horrible... well... tonight marks 1 month of us on break... she gets home really soon and said she thought things would go back to normal soon after she got home... anyways sorry You don't need my life story.


    I know how you feel. I know how much it hurts. I know how it feels like a nightmare that you just can't wake up from... but you really got to give her space... if its meant to be its meant to be... loves a ed up thing. But don't seem desperate... girls like the chase... its weird... their mentally ed up and predisposed to being like that. What can you do. But good luck... ur best bet is to delete her number from your phone... I mean I did that but... I know her number better than my own... but at least not seeing the name will help sort of... I don't know... good luck though... find someone to keep you interested, even if its not on the same level as a girlfriend... someone to keep you occupied.
    Thewizard's Avatar
    Thewizard Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #12

    Feb 23, 2009, 08:18 PM
    I agree Bro, I was there about 3 years ago, I dated a girl who I loved like you do. She was a model and blahhh same stuff. She told me she needed space also, my guess now was to see if she felt the love on her end. I didn't give it to her, I was the IM all the time guy and sappy emails tons of them. Now she is gone, I am well over her now but deep down I still love what I knew of her. Not who she became. So you still might have a chance bro... dont be me and go chasing... you will ruin it. It will be the hardest thing ever did but try to give her the space and don't contact her. If she loves you... she will come back, if she does not then she will become a shell of who you knew!! My shell is thousands of miles away haha a "shell" more like a story , a story how how I met "this girl" and we did this and that,Do you hear my Bro... you still might have a chance! Give her the space.
    cowgirl182's Avatar
    cowgirl182 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Dec 26, 2009, 12:05 AM
    I'm kind of also in one of these relationships. My boyfriend and I have been dating for like 5 months I guess now and I feel like I'm growing apart from him. I'm a senior in high school and I'm really busy trying to get into college and earning extra money I sometimes feel he doesn't understand that. He is 19 and isn't doing anything with his life and it scares me because if I land up with him I have to be the one that has to support him. And he thinks were going to be together forever or something and I'm only 17 I'm not ready to settle down. So I think I'm just pushing him away when I really should be honest with him but I don't want to hurt him

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