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    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Dec 4, 2008, 10:11 PM
    How to win the heart of a married man.who said he wasn't married anymore.
    I hope someone can help.
    I met this man and he swept me off my feet.I have not been on a date in 2 years.
    The night I met him we stayed together until 4:30 in the morning.
    On the dance floor we started kissing, I never did that in my life.
    He asked me to go out with him on the following wed and I said yes!
    When we got off the dance floor he gave me 300 dollars to by a dress for that night.
    On that wed night his mom had fell so he canceled, but he came and we went out for dinner.
    For 2 weeks he ttexted me every single day saying hi my sexy baby... I miss you and I can't wait to see you.
    We had a date for 2 sat after that and he canceled.
    The last one he canceled , I never heard from him again. I callled,texted,emailed and got no reply.
    He is a multi millionaire.
    I sent him white roses to his office and a bear asking him please michael, just give me some closure. You don't go from all those text message and calls to vanish from someone's life without explaining.I just needed closure bcause I'm craz about him and I know he felt the same.
    I called his office and is seceretary and I became really close.
    He is still married. Him and his wifehave been back and forth for years.
    He told me he hated her, but I'm thinking it was his ex.
    Well its not.
    When they fight, he goes to one of his other houses to get away from her.
    What I don't understand is, why he couldn't tell me the truth.
    All I wanted to know is how to you go from everything you did and said to nothing.
    I feel he didn't have the strength to tell me he was still with his wife.
    And because he really liked me,it was better to say nothing.
    So what he did... was leave the door open to call me in the future.
    His sec told me it was cheaper to keep her.And also he adores his little grl and his wife is so crazy she will keep the baby from him and that will kill him.
    I never believed in love at first sight. Now I do.
    I want this man, how do I get him to call me?
    I love him and I know he was crazy about me.
    When I sent him the flowers and the bear, I asked his sec if he threw the flowers away or gave them to someone.
    She said he left them on his deask until they died.
    This man everyday made me send him pictures through email.
    He said he needed to see my face everyday to feel happy because he loves my smile.
    They were all nice pictures, not pictures in the nude. He is a gentlman.
    Can someone please help
    Thanks,Brokenhearted!!
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #2

    Dec 4, 2008, 10:51 PM
    You are not the first woman to write in here with this story.

    Sure... the details are different somewhat...

    But the simple, honest truth is that he is married, until he isn't.

    Why do I give a damn that he's a multimillionaire? As if that makes it better than if he is joe schmo bagging your groceries?

    Your relationship was developed around a lie, a fib, or at least the absence of the full truth.

    Sweet.

    Not exactly what id wish for my daughter.

    So... what to do next? Well... you are convinced her loves you. OK.

    Well... then he's a man who loves you who doesn't have the desire or balls to leave his wife.

    That's the best case scenario here.

    So you choose what you are willing to be and willing to put up with.

    We have posts here all the time from women who state they are "with a great guy BUT....."

    Well... his "but" is he is married and not with you.

    What can you do?

    Back the hell off and see how hard he is willing to work to get you.

    If he isn't willing to chase you down, change his life... well, then it wasn't all that, now, was it?

    Get a pair. Get some self respect. Step away hard and demand nothing less than what you want and need... a man who is devoted to you and interested in a life with you...

    Without his wife, too.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #3

    Dec 4, 2008, 10:52 PM

    Here we go again. You should the many of threads from women in your situation.

    Oh course he is going tell you all the sweet things you need and want to hear. I am sure he told many women before you this.

    He is married with a child so therefore if your thinking about having anything serious with him, throw that thought out the window. If he wanted to leave his wife he would've a long time ago regardles of how much money he has.

    You love him? I think your more in love with being in love with someone due to you being off the dating scene for 2 years. News flash, don't fall for the first guy that comes along.

    I would like to know your definition of love and what do you love about this guy?

    Save yourself the pain and move on unless you like being strung along being someone husband play thing.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Dec 4, 2008, 10:57 PM

    Messing with a married man, is like knowing there is a rattlesnake in your boot, but you put it on any way.

    So don't holler, when he bites you.

    Hmmmm, I guess he has bitten you. Better get your A$$ some snake medicine, and leave them rattlers alone.

    And next time, shake them boots before you put them on. Never know what critter will crawl in them next.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Dec 4, 2008, 11:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by TrueFaith View Post
    Hey.. Here is a word..

    STOP!!
    FIND A GUY THAT IS NOT MARRIED
    YOU IMORAL GIMP!


    No matter what the wife is like or what you think might be going on. it is there problem! nothing to do with you!

    Keep your noise and your feelings out of other peoples relationships.

    IF he was away from the marrage. it would be a different story. but just because they go into hard times. gives you no right to think you are better for him. than the wife is.
    My morals are at the highest standard that any women can have!!
    He told me he was not married anymore. I did nothing wrong, I thought free.
    He told me he was going to take me to his house, why would I think he would lie.
    Not a man of his calibar. I have all his numbers including his business.
    I didn't date anyone for 2 years. So go back and reread my letter.I asked for help... not insults
    Thanks!!
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Dec 4, 2008, 11:47 PM
    Thank you so much for your advice, and I know your right.
    I guess because he is the first person to sweep me off my feet... I fell for him!
    Not only that but I'm known for having a beautiful smile and a warm heart... so people tend to like me.
    I keep thinking about how we met and he must have been having a bad time with her and when he felt my kindness, he wasn't use to having that in his life.
    God bless you and thank you.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #7

    Dec 4, 2008, 11:47 PM

    HA!

    You said how to win the heart of a married man.

    Yeah that's imoral.. I read your letter and Your TITLE. It does not matter what he did
    You said you want to win him. Even though he is married.

    So don't back track now, you dozey mare.
    Have some balls.

    And I did not insult you
    You are doing a good enough job all on your own

    Stop trying to Win a married mans heart!
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Dec 4, 2008, 11:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Here we go again. You should the many of threads from women in your situation.

    Oh course he is going tell you all the sweet things you need and want to hear. I am sure he told many women before you this.

    He is married with a child so therefore if your thinking about having anything serious with him, throw that thought out the window. If he wanted to leave his wife he would've a long time ago regardles of how much money he has.

    You love him? I think your more in love with being in love with someone due to you being off the dating scene for 2 years. News flash, don't fall for the first guy that comes along.

    I would like to know your definition of love and what do you love about this guy?

    Save yourself the pain and move on unless you like being strung along being someone husband play thing.

    Thank you so much and your right.
    The thing that kills me... is he lied and he isn't young. All I wanted from him was closure and he refused to give it to me. He wasn't going to tell me he was still with his wife on and off, I would have never gone out with him. His secretary told me because I asked her women to women, please tell me the truth and she did!
    Thank you and god bless!!
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #9

    Dec 4, 2008, 11:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by visrael22 View Post
    My morals are at the highest standard that any women can have!!!!
    He told me he was not married anymore. I did nothing wrong, i thought free.
    He told me he was going to take me to his house, why would i think he would lie.
    Not a man of his calibar. I have all his numbers including his business.
    I didnt date anyone for 2 years. So go back and reread my letter.I asked for help...not insults
    Thanks!!!!
    You thought he was going take you to his house for what?

    Okay, he lied to you about being married. I am thinking that makes him a liar. But once you found out the truth you should've left him alone.

    If you want to continue seeing him maybe you should get the wife number and ask her. I am should she would find it interesting and then maybe she would divorce him and your can live happily ever after while his wife get half of everything. Then see how quick he stays with you.

    Come to think of it you might be doing the wife a favor.

    Also, don't throw that woman crap around because a real woman would've left as soon as she found out the truth.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by visrael22 View Post
    My morals are at the highest standard that any women can have!!!!
    He told me he was not married anymore. I did nothing wrong, i thought free.
    He told me he was going to take me to his house, why would i think he would lie.
    Not a man of his calibar. I have all his numbers including his business.
    I didnt date anyone for 2 years. So go back and reread my letter.I asked for help...not insults
    Thanks!!!!
    Excuse but as a human, your very rude and not helpful at all. So why sit on this computer and give advice.
    I didn't date for 2 years. He is the one that came after me. I kissed him and I was in his arms, so don't you dare tell me that I don't have the right to want him.
    I Didn't KNOW HE WAS MARRIED!!
    He put me there.
    He told me that he hated his ex
    Meanwhile she is his ex on and off!!
    If I knew he was married, I would have never been with him. He wouldn't have a chance with me.
    His marriage has been bad for years and not because of me... I just met him.
    I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS PULLED IN BY HIM WITH HIS SWEETNESS AND LIES.
    And yes, I care about him, he put me there. End of dissuccion with you!!
    Thank you and god bless you!
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #11

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:08 AM

    V22, I am sorry if I was harsh but I stand by everything I said. I think you got lost in this guy to quickly and you fell for him for all the wrong reasons.

    Before you can love someone you have to get to know them and getting to know someone takes time.

    Once you heard he was married communication with him should've stopped instead of you wanting to know ways to win him back. You can win someone that is already taken unless you want to play the role of being his mistress.

    The road of a mistress is a lonely one and only wastes time. If you have the time read stories from other women that played this role and see what it lead to.

    In order for you to be in a healthy relationship you have to find someone that is available to fulfill your needs and who will value you as woman and who only wants you. Write down a list of qualities that you want in a guy then go out and seek it. Don't settle and don't fall for anyone games nor lies and married man are out limits.

    Good Luck with the dating scene.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    You thought he was going take you to his house for what?

    Okay, he lied to you about being married. I am thinking that makes him a liar. But once you found out the truth you should've left him alone.

    If you want to continue seeing him maybe you should get the wife number and ask her. I am should she would find it interesting and then maybe she would divorce him and your can live happily ever after while his wife get half of everything. Then see how quick he stays with you.

    Come to think of it you might be doing the wife a favor.

    Also, don't throw that woman crap around because a real woman would've left as soon as she found out the truth.
    I found out 2 weeks after he was still married by one of his workers. He didn't have the nerve to tell me. I had to do research on my own. I didn't have sex with him , thank god I'm not that stupid... Im not with him right now and I would never call his wife and hurt her... because I don't know the truth of what's going on in his marriage.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    V22, I am sorry if I was harsh but I stand by everything I said. I think you got lost in this guy to quickly and you fell for him for all the wrong reasons.

    Before you can love someone you have to get to know them and getting to know someone takes time.

    Once you heard he was married communication with him should've stopped instead of you wanting to know ways to win him back. You can win someone that is already taken unless you want to play the role of being his mistress.

    The road of a mistress is a lonely one and only wastes time. If you have the time read stories from other women that played this role and see what it lead to.

    In order for you to be in a healthy relationship you have to find someone that is available to fullfill your needs and who will value you as woman and who only wants you. Write down a list of qualities that you want in a guy then go out and seek it. Don't settle and don't fall for anyone games nor lies and married man are out limits.

    Good Luck with the dating scene.

    Thank you and yes I did fall into it to fast. I have been alone for the last 5 years. He was the first person that I was intrested in after 2 years of not dating. He gave me no reason at all to not trust him.
    Every day he called me... texted me... emailed me always telling me hi my sexy baby.. whats my baby doing.
    So why would I think he is married.
    He called late at night. I thought this was a healthy relationship that started and I was on cloud 9. He was taking me to his house and he wanted to move me to miami on the beach. And so much more.
    Im the inocent one.
    If I was cruel... I would call his wife, I would never hurt her.
    I don't know the whole story except for the fact his marriage is not a good one.
    Thank you and I will get through this.
    I think the hardest part of all of this is, when I asked him what was wrong he wouldn't repply.
    His 85 year old mom had falling the week be 4.
    I thought something happened to her.
    He left me with the not knowing which is a brain teaser.
    Im not stupid, he didn't want to tell me the truth.
    He thinks he left doors open, I just need to get over the hurt and then get mad.
    Have a beautiful day today and thanks again, viv
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #14

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by visrael22 View Post
    Excuse but as a human, your very rude and not helpful at all. So why sit on this computer and give advice.
    I didnt date for 2 years. He is the one that came after me. I kissed him and i was in his arms, so dont you dare tell me that i dont have the right to want him.

    he iS MARRIED !!!!!!!
    He put me there.
    He told me that he hated his ex
    Meanwhile she is his ex on and off!!!!
    If i knew he was married, i would have never been with him. He wouldnt have a chance with me.
    His marriage has been bad for years and not because of me...i just met him.
    I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS PULLED IN BY HIM WITH HIS SWEETNESS AND LIES.
    And yes, i care about him, he put me there. End of dissuccion with you!!!!
    Thank you and god bless you!!
    That was rude and you don't have to use caps because that only states that your screaming at someone. You're the one that came on here asking how to win the heart of a married guy not me. I don't date married men and never have a day in my life.

    How can you care for someone that has no respect for his wife? What does that tell you about his character and all the sweet lies he told you?

    I didn't come out rude but my advice was harsh but it was the truth. Sometime you can't sugar coat everything.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Messing with a married man, is like knowing there is a rattlesnake in your boot, but you put it on any way.

    So don't holler, when he bites you.

    Hmmmm, I guess he has bitten you. Better get your A$$ some snake medicine, and leave them rattlers alone.

    And next time, shake them boots before you put them on. Never know what critter will crawl in them next.
    Your right... he did bite me!!
    I better get to the doc's for a quick fix.
    He doesn't deserve me, I'm to kind and I don't lie about anything.
    He was in my house so he is sure I'm alone.
    Thanks for the good advice.
    I guess I just need to get over the way he made me feel.
    I was shocked when I met him.
    Class beyond words.
    I treid calling him until thanksgiving and then I stopped.
    That's when I knew his mom was OK.
    And it was something else and he wasn't going to tell me he was still married!
    Have a beautiful day and thank you.
    visrael22's Avatar
    visrael22 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Dec 5, 2008, 12:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by TrueFaith View Post
    Hey.. Here is a word..

    STOP!!
    FIND A GUY THAT IS NOT MARRIED
    YOU IMORAL GIMP!


    No matter what the wife is like or what you think might be going on. it is there problem! nothing to do with you!

    Keep your noise and your feelings out of other peoples relationships.

    IF he was away from the marrage. it would be a different story. but just because they go into hard times. gives you no right to think you are better for him. than the wife is.
    You don't have to be rude!!
    When I met him, he told me he was not married and he hated his ex wife!!
    After 2 years of not dating this man swept me off my feet.
    He called.. texted... emailed every single day.
    When he canceled our last date and didn't call me all of a sudden... I thought something bad happened to his mom.
    I never called him, I only replied to what ever he sent me.
    But when I didn't hear from him I started calling him and when he didn't reply, I knew his mom was okay.Something else was going on. I stopped calling him and I called his office.
    I asked the sec, women to women... please tell me the truth is michael still married or is he in a relationship with someone.
    That's how I found out... she told me everything.
    She said their marriage was bad for years. They split up all the time and he goes to stay at one of his houses.
    Im the inocent one in all of this.
    If I would have known that this man was married... he wouldn't have a chance in a lifetime with me.
    But the fact remains, he swept me off my feet and I was in his arms and I kissed him.
    So yes... I don't do that with anyone.
    He was pretty special to get me, I'm very picky.I won't go out on a date just for the sake of dating.I went out with him because for the first time in a long time I met someone I liked.
    He is just like me or so I thought.
    Im kindhearted and sweet and I care about other peoples feelings.
    But I also care about mine.
    So where does that leave me, as the bad person.
    I don't think so.
    He was the bad person by luring me under his lies.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #17

    Dec 5, 2008, 01:08 AM

    Look girl talk as much as you like

    I don't care who came after whom. Or he touch me first and all that crap

    Bottom line is.. what are you asking help for? How to win a married man back.

    Not going to happen! He is married

    Get that into your head. If you can.

    You're the inocent.. oh give me a break you doughnut

    He did a dumb thing OK I will give you that
    But what you are doing is just pathetic

    Move on with your life.
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #18

    Dec 5, 2008, 01:09 AM

    Viv, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. You seem like a nice person who got used by a player.

    With that said, my first thought was that his wife found out, and has got him on a tight leash... which she probably should! You cannot believe the things that he tells you about his wife. Any man that tells you that he "hates" his wife, you should pack your bags and run! That is not healthy, and any man that "hates" his wife, that he has beared children with, is just not worth you hurting over. I realise you are hurting, but I would count your blessings that this didn't continue. If he will cheat with you... he will cheat on you. Why? Because he can!. and he's got the pocket book to back it! In all honesty, this probably isn't the first time he has "cheated" on his wife. Have you ever heard the saying, "It doesn't matter how flat you make a pancake....it still has two sides!"

    Another thing that really caught my attn. was that you mentioned his money a lot. A millionaire, gave you $300 dollars for a dress, wanted to "move you" to Miami, and so on. I'm not at all implying that you are a gold digger, but he sounds like a guy who likes to flash his money, and you sound like a girl who mistakes monetary gifts as caring.

    You also mentioned a lot of him calling you baby, and sweet baby, and names like that. I think you are confused by the whirlwind! If he really honestly loved you, he would not lie to you, he would not deceive you, he would not blatently keep flowers and a bear in his office, for everyone to see! This sounds to me like a guy that is saying to himself... look at me, look how much she worships me, and I'm going to completely disrespect my wife, by letting everyone see these flowers, because that is what I can do with the people I buy! I can lead them on and get them to start buying me things, so I can flaunt my ability to suck innocent girls into my ego pool!

    If this man indeed a millionaire, his secretaries alliances would not lie with you! Trust me, she wants to keep that job!

    I'm sorry you got burned hon, but I would cut your losses, and move on to someone who is willing to "be real" with you.
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #19

    Dec 5, 2008, 01:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by TrueFaith View Post
    Look girl talk as much as you like

    i dont care who came after whom. or he touch me first and all that crap

    bottom line is.. what are you asking help for? how to win a married man back.

    Not going to happen! he is married

    Get that into your head. if you can.

    Your the inocent.. oh give me a break you doughnut

    He did a dumb thing ok i will give you that
    but what you are doing is just pathetic

    Move on with your life.
    Whoa! TF, calm yourself! ;) I don't think this is right either. But this sounds like a case of someone that got sucked in maybe before she got the whole story. You won't find anybody more against cheating than me! Believe me you won't. I've been cheated on more times than you can count. I think there is a bit of a different scenario here though. I'm not excusing this, and emotional cheating is just as bad, if not worse sometimes than full blown, in your face "cheating"! But I think there was a more than a little coersion going on here. Just my take on it.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #20

    Dec 5, 2008, 01:26 AM

    Viv, I'm not going to give you any advice. You screw around with a married, and yes I know you didn't know he was married because you have mentioned that in every post so don't reiterate it, but none the less he is married, man. So you came here and you got the advice. None of it seems to be what you want to hear, which is sort of the point of this website, you get advice sometimes that is the harsh reality, not sugar coated. Why is it rude to tell you not to get involved with a married man? Why are you snapping at people who care more about you then a guy that wants to get in your pants and lies to you to achieve that goal. Why are you attacking other posters who spend there free time helping you in defense of a man you know can't commit but you want to make him commit? After 2 years of waiting, isn't it worth it to wait for someone that doesn't lie to you?

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