Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    goodgurlgonebad's Avatar
    goodgurlgonebad Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 2, 2008, 01:38 PM
    Im 18 and afraid to have sex VIRGIN!
    I'm 18 years old and afraid to have sex or even be alone with guys sexual feelings scare me and I almost have anxiety its so weird out of all my friends I'm the only virgin and its not like I'm anti-sexual I do want to find that someone but ill never be able to do that if I always have my walls up and never let people in... and as soon as I meet a guy for the couple weeks its good but when he wants to be alone with me or touch me I back out and don't talk to them?is this normal wats wrong


    Confuzed
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 2, 2008, 01:40 PM

    It's normal and wonderful to hear. There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is scared there first time. You just need to find the right person. When you love someone and are comfortable sex with be more natural. You are trying to sleep with men you don't know well enough to love and be comfortable with.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Dec 2, 2008, 01:41 PM

    If you've only known a guy for a couple weeks it's definitely OK to not want to be touched and have sex. Wait as long as you want because if you're not ready you will regret it. Good for you not giving it up after 2 weeks with a guy!!
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 2, 2008, 02:05 PM

    PLEASE do not type in chat speak.

    If you continue to type like an adolescent, I will assume that you are one, instead of an ADULT on an ADULT board, and I will delete your posts accordingly.
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Dec 2, 2008, 03:10 PM

    There is no reason you must have sex. Just because someone jumps off a bridge do you have to? Sounds stupid, but the point is valid. Why do you feel you have to have sex if you are not ready? Look at it another way, while your friends can very likely go to the marriage bed with some form of an STD you can feel proud that you will not. Also these feeling could be from your upbringing. Was your home life strict?
    goodgurlgonebad's Avatar
    goodgurlgonebad Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Dec 3, 2008, 09:34 AM

    Well I didn't grow up in a strict household hardly any rules really.. my mom is open and I can talk to her about everything.. thank you all so much for the responses it has opened my eyes to a new leval

    But I still don't no why I'm so scared to be around a guy?or even be touched by one its like I can never be comfortable around them
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Dec 3, 2008, 09:40 AM

    Because it is new to you and if you are with guys that you aren't comfortable with you will be scared. Everyone is scared their first time but with someone you care about, it's not as scary. I know there is a lot of pressure in knowing that your friends have all done it and you haven't, but just know that it's a wonderful gift to wait. You are not the only one who has waited. Don't be in such a hurry to give away such a precious gift especially to just any guy.
    TexasParent's Avatar
    TexasParent Posts: 378, Reputation: 73
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Dec 3, 2008, 11:19 AM

    You will know when it's right, every fiber of your being will know when the right person, and the right time has come. If you are able; that would be when you meet and fall in love and marry a man so in sync with you that you will know he is the one.

    To have sex before you feel this comfortable and trusting of someone; who has your best interests at heart will always result in disappointment and regret to some degree.

    Listen to your fear, you mind and body is telling you that you are not ready or he is not the one to share yourself with. Trust your instincts and do not have sex with this person, from what you've said I don't think it's the right time for you and you know it through your fear.

    Don't have sex just to keep him, if he is worthy of keeping he will stay for your heart and your mind, not just your body.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    Dec 3, 2008, 02:41 PM

    A friend of mine is 28 and she is still a virgin. She refuses to have sex unless she is married first. She is a perfectly normal woman in every way and likes men but she refuses to have sex unless she is married first. Not a thing wrong with that. She has morals and is not pressured by anyone to anything she does not want to do. Don't cave in, OK?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #10

    Dec 4, 2008, 06:56 AM

    Comments on this post
    Olblueyes disagrees: Thought it was kind of mean and belittling, actually.
    First, please use the site rules regarding use of disagrees.

    Second--I'm the moderator of this forum. At the top of the page BEFORE you can post a question in Adult Sexuality, is a post that says "Please Read This Before Posting in Adult Sexuality". In that post, it states that if your language indicates that you are a minor--in other words, chat speak--your post will be deleted.

    I feel that it is fair to give a warning to people BEFORE deleting their posts.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Dec 5, 2008, 06:45 PM

    Good,

    LIfe is full of many wonders, many potential experiences, good bad and between, and I recomment that you look forward to the future with great anticipation! You won't be able to do that if you have too much fear... in this case, of males and sexual relations.

    Now, we have a sex soaked culture in America and other first world countries that give false and brutal views of what sex is like, but it is false and for losers... you don't have to have a sex life like anything depicted on Tv or in the movies or in porn.

    I think it would help you to talk about sex with a person who actually knows something about women and sexual relations. Not with pablum pukers or with rough types and brutalizers.

    Good Luck to you,
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Dec 11, 2008, 12:39 AM

    My fiancé is like that. Trust me it's a turn on with most women.
    love092489's Avatar
    love092489 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Dec 20, 2008, 04:03 PM

    I think that it is perfectly normal for this to happen. This happens to people in all sorts of different ways and yours just seems to be sex. I think that you need to wait until you are entirely comfortable with a guy. You'll know when its time to have sex. So many people push the sex issue and then they end up regretting the people they have had sex with. You will know trusst me
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #14

    Dec 20, 2008, 06:25 PM

    You have plenty of time for things to work out, so just learn, and grow, through your life at your own pace. It is your life.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

He's afraid of everything [ 3 Answers ]

I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now. He's 30 and I'm 19. At first we got together because my ex kicked me out and He let me stay at his place for about a month. I got an apartment and he now lives with me. We got really close and became a couple. We had sex a few times a week and for...

The virgin afraid of sex [ 10 Answers ]

I am not homosexual, and there is no other problem. I am just afraid of sex. If you can't tell I'm a virgin, and sex intimidates me. One major fear I will say is being a father, growing up through high school I wished it upon all my friends that were sleeping around, but it never came to them so I...

She is afraid of sex [ 3 Answers ]

My girlfreind used to get raped by here ex boyfreind. There relatoinship lasted a year and a half. I'm helping her deal with it and counsling her because I was raped when I was younger as well. We have had sex before she told me about this and it was really great to. But now that she tolled me what...

I'm so afraid.is this possible [ 15 Answers ]

Is it possible to be pregnant if our organs doesn't meet at all? We only have oral sex? Because I'm 1 week delay.. and there's still no sign that my period will come. Please answer.. thank you

Afraid to have sex [ 5 Answers ]

I was raped about two years ago, I was 20 and a virgin then, and I haven't slept with anyone since. Met a guy I really really like a few weeks ago. He knows about the rape, but haven't told him that I'm afraid to 'you know'. I feel ready, I really do. But I still remember the terrible pain from...


View more questions Search