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    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #1

    Nov 10, 2008, 06:02 PM
    Is She Gone Forever?
    Hey, here's my situation, I look forward to everyone's response and thank you in advance. I've dated my girlfriend for over 4 years now, and at about two years we both broke up and seen other people and came back to each other after a few months. Well everything has been great up until this point I would say, I mean we have our minor arguments like everyone but nothing major. My girlfriend loves me to death, just as much as I love her, she wrote me a text message "your the only person i wanna be with and the only person who i am going to be with. and you can make me happy baby you know how, i love you very much. you mean the world to me." and a few days before "you are everything to me and i never wanna go a day without you. i love you more then anything in the world and i can not imagine my life without you. i can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you, my best friend" all right now to the current, my girlfriend and I were fine I sense nothing wrong, she decided to go to a halloween party with her friends from work and I (being jealous/overprotective in the past but have gotten much much better) said okay, with no problems I let her go to the party and I didn't contact her at all during the party, nor her me. No big deal, she texted me when she got home, same old I love you good night. The next day she was acting kind of strange but I paid no attention to it, we talked sporadically through out the day, and I sent her a text saying "I'm going to lose you!" she responded with "what?" and I said I got a chain text from a person I haven't spoken to in the long time and it said "if you don't send this to 10 people you will lose the love of your life forever" I told the sender of the chain text there's not a chance in hell of me sending this to 10 people, and I told my girlfriend she simply replied I hate chain texts, later on my girlfriend came to my football game and nothing really out of the ordinary hug and kiss, laughs and she was there, after the game I walked her to her car, and have not talked about the party, I calmly asked her about the party, how was it? What'd you where? Did you have a good time? She didn't really seem to want to talk about it and gave I don't know answers and one word answers, so I looked at her and said I thought you'd have more to say to me after I LET you go to the party, this is where it goes bad. (I meant let you go, meaning I didn't care, not that I control you) she texted me immediately after saying "you let me goto the party? you don't control me" and I tried to explain myself, she then sent me a message saying "i don't have fun with you anymore, i feel like i am (my name) girlfriend not (her name), i feel like things between us are getting worse and not better, and i've sacrificed so much for you that i don't know who i am anymore, i might just need sometime for me for awhile to figure out who i am and make some friends for me instead of tagging along with your friends all the time" I called her and she was hysterically crying and the last thing she told me, I asked her if she wanted to be with me? She said I don't know, I don't know. I love you I just don't know if I can do this anymore, just give me some space and time please. I haven't spoken to her in over a week now, because I'm being a strong person and giving her request because I love her to death, and if she wants to see other people, I'm okay with it because it'll make her happy. I know that we're truly in love. The updates through out the week I sent her a text 2 days after just saying hey to see how serious it is, no answer, I got were from my mother who works with her who simply said to my mother that she just asked me for space, and she was wearing some of my jewelry still, I spoke to her mom because I wanted to make sure she was doing okay, and her mother said she hasn't brought it up and her mother and I would go out to eat sometime soon, then my buddies girlfriend went out with her 5 days after I stopped talking to her, I told my friends girlfriend please do not bring me up unless she does, I guess she brought it up and my girlfriend got real upset and mad and didn't to talk about it, and my friend told me that I need to talk to her, and that it's over. I tried calling her mother today to see about dinner, but no answer and no callback. Also my girlfriend just got into her choice school after getting her associates from community college, I'm so proud of her, so she's going away to school in January but however I'm supposed to live with her, we also have a joint bank account. Also, this break has been so great to me I finally got into school, I'm going to be attending Devry and I started realizing all the little things I've done wrong, but me realizing this stuff doesn't help unless I get a chance to tell her about them, and prove it that I've changed my ways especially if I can't contact her.

    Now my questions for you to address for me, is this break to her so that she can work things out and comeback? Is she thinking about me? As much as I think about her? Is she gone forever? Do I ever take a stand and email her or call her or go see her? Her birthdays on Dec. 4 and I have her gift we were supposed to go to the city to see a Broadway show she's wanted to see? I also have her Christmas present? I understand things happen for a reason and I truly feel we are in love, I'm a very real person and like the dead truth, but this whole situation came out of left field. Please in responses rule out the fact of their being another man, because I'm 99.9% that's not the case at all. Also, by me giving her this space is it making it easier for her to walk away and let go, is that what she wants? I mean if she wanted to break up with me, wouldn't she have just done it?
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #2

    Nov 10, 2008, 09:58 PM

    This was her way of breaking up with you... It lets her be on her own while keeping you wondering and holding on. I mean how many ends to relationships have started with the simple words "I want a break".

    That's how my ex did it. And that's how most of the people I have gotten to know on here have gotten it done to them.

    You have to go no contact though, and I know you think you have been doing that and giving her the space she asked for but you are not. You can't text her, call her, e-mail her, and bud you have to stop calling her mom. Don't think that because you are not talking to her she will just forget about you and move on. She told you she wanted the space so give it to her. That means even ignoring her birthday when it comes.

    She will comeback to you if she wants, and there is no way of knowing if she will. You have already accomplished some pretty positive things with this short time on your own, so keep going with it, don't contact her and just let fate take it's course.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:16 PM

    Give her what she asked for, and go about your business. Don't wait for her to see the light, or change her mind, just get on with your own life.

    It may be to late with her, but see your mistakes, and correct them for the next tiime, whomever it is.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #4

    Nov 11, 2008, 06:27 AM

    Your handle on here is "Life-Changes-Man." Ain't that the truth? Weird huh?
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #5

    Nov 11, 2008, 11:42 AM
    Hey guys thanks for keeping it real. I still got my head up, I'm sure we love one another and down the road sooner or later we should be able to reunite, say a prayer for me if you don't mind, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for all your time.

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