My husband is constantly accusing me of cheating on him. I have never cheated on him once. One of us (not sure which) entered into our relationship with the std chlamydia and now every time he accuses me he says I gave him chlamydia. I have no friends nor do I go out. He says I am cheating when I go to the store. He thinks I am cheating over the internet anytime I use the computer. I've really had it. We fight all the time because of his weird behavior and he always turns it around and says it's my fault. As a matter of fact, he just started a fight as I was typing this and came over to "inspect". I really love him, but he has turned into a complete psycho. His ex-wife cheated on him, but I really don't feel I should have to pay the price. This is getting to be way too much. Is there anything I can do about this?

Hi, Ollie_Bear!

I'm sorry that you are going through this sort of thing with your husband! How long have the two of you been married, please?

Thanks!

Sometimes when people are doing wrong they try to place the guilt on their partner. Maybe he's the one cheating. If not, he have some major insecurties. You need to make friends and go out and have a good time. This is no way to live your life. If marriage counselling doesn't happen I can't see you contining like this. It's unhealthy for you and your husband needs help.

He was so burned by wife #1 he's taking out all of his anger right now on you. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but you have to remember, he must have loved you to marry you and try again. Just please hang on and be patient with him and try and be open and loving with him. Sometimes it can take a long for some men to fully appreciate they married the right woman THIS time around.

Maybe he is the one that was cheating.. Maybe he got that std from his ex wife, the original cheater...

Tell him to stop accusing you of everything and deal with his past... Or the future will not be so bright.

If the husband is not cheating and is burned by his cheating ex-wife, the only way he could overcome it is through counselling. I know how it's to live and be with someone that constantly accused you of things that you're not doing. Patience will run out and it can play with your mental. This is unhealthy and if he's unwilling to seek help then you'll be left with some choices to make because this isn't a good way to live. Oneday you might blow up from it like I did with ex because it became unbearable. When someone is like this it doesn't matter what you say or do to prove otherwise they'll always view and accuse you of being gulity because they only see one thing.

His paranoia and fear could come from cheating or from being cheated on or both. He isn't handling it in a healthy way and it is driving you both apart. Find someone to talk with to help separate fact from fiction.

Until then you will both be jumping at shadows.

He obviously did not properly heal from being cheated on before assuming he was the one cheated on. If he was the one that cheated, he is afraid that he will be the one cheated on this time. Was he jealous with his ex like this or is this new behavior for him, do you know?

Do you know for a fact he was the betrayed one before? How well did you know him before you got married? Was he like this when you were dating or just after the wedding?

In either case, it's not healthy for either of you to live that way with constant suspicions & accusations. It will not likely get better by itself no matter how much of an open book you are. He is being driven by his fears, insecurities & jealousy which without some good help are only likely to get worse because he is acting out not treating the underlying issues causing him to behave that way. Until then, sadly nothing you say or do will make him feel safe or loved enough to change his behavior.

When men accuse you a lot of cheating, its either two things. He is the one cheating or you are giving him reasons to think that you are. Sounds like your not so he might be the one cheating. Guilty conscience takes over you big time. Maybe he thinks its so easy to get away with it that he worrys about you cheating. I think you should sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Tell him its hurting you for him to treat you this way and if he doesn't change, like the other person said, future may not be so bright

Unfortunately, it's not always that simple. Many times the past does contaminate the present & ruin the future especially if something extremely difficult to deal with has taken place that wasn't properly cleaned up. Then even without any valid reason to think the same thing is going on again, the person reacts as if it is.

Accusing someone of cheating for no good reason is often fear driven response. It is their way of saying "I'm afraid you would cheat on me because this has happened before" or "You matter so much to me but I don't feel I deserve you & when you figure that out, you'll cheat on me", for example.

But it could also be that he is or has cheated (on you or a previous one) so he's projecting that onto you. It's a way to keep you on the defensive. Is it possible he's cheating?

Dealing with the symptoms (his accusations) won't solve the real problem (what's causing him to be constantly accusatory). Until that happens, nothing you say or do can reassure him enough to make him stop & logic alone sure won't work, those accusations are emotionally based if there is nothing you are doing to cause them & he's not cheating himself.

Have you tried asking him what is going on now that is making him feel that you would cheat on him? Was he like this the whole time you've been together or is it new for him?

That sort of constant accusations can also be used by someone that is controlling & manipulative in order to keep the upper hand. It's a form of emotional abuse. Again, professional help would be needed to stop that effectively, you won't be able to change his attitude by yourself, it's too deep rooted especially the longer it goes on & it's on him to work on his own stuff.

I know what your going through everything you wrote that's how it is in my relationship even with the chlamydia and I'm pregnant so its not good for the baby. Evey day we fight like cats and dogs, I can't do anything when he isint home. I can't shower be on the computer nothing because I'm accused of cheating. I don't feel like we are married at all I feel like a prisoner. The only time we are nice to each other is when we are intimite for those few minutes.

Your man has issues, and either he does something about it, or he sleeps on the couch. Don't put up with bad behavior.

Ain't that much love in the world.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Many men get paranoid and make false accusations against their wives because of their own guilt and insecurities. I wouldn't doubt that he has cheated on you from the way he is going on, it is a typical behavior of cheaters. They turn the situation around on the person they cheated on.

Something similar is happening to me.. my husband doesn't let me go out unchaperoned,if I do he says I was cheating while I was out.. he checks my phone records.. it always comes up clean yet he still accuses me even after checking it but if I go to check his computer,he gets mad and he always clears his web history before I check it.. I have told him to either trust me and stop the accusations or I am leaving.. we haven't spoken for 3 days.. we don't even sleep in the same room anymore.. he calls me names and afterward says he is joking but everything he is doing is very hurtful..