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YoungPup · Oct 14, 2008, 10:16 AM

The man I am referring to, I have known a while, and am around a lot when our mutual friends get together. One night I text messaged him to see if he was going to be at a meeting, and next thing I knew we had chatted for a couple of hours. The evening chats continued, but only every once in awhile.

This whole "relationship" started when he told me that I was cute... since then I can't get enough. On Saturday night, we had a party with all of our friends (my husband was out of town on business), and he ended up taking me home (which my husband is aware of). I don't remember a lot of the details, but I do remember kissing him...

I have been married about a year and a half (we have been together for 8 years) and I am very happy. We communicate well, our sex life rocks and we are best friends. Why did I do it? Why do I want to continue talking to this man when I know how wrong it is? He is divorced and 12 years older then me, but I am sexually attracted to him and can't help myself.

danielnoahsmommy · Oct 14, 2008, 10:29 AM

Practice a little self control or you will destroy your relatioship with your husband

Romefalls19 · Oct 14, 2008, 10:43 AM

You got to come clean to your husband and cease communication with the other guy

vapo · Oct 14, 2008, 10:47 AM

Well at least it was just a kiss and nothing more, as the post above said practice a little self control before things get worse. You may want to be honest with your husband maybe he can help you through this.

plonak · Oct 14, 2008, 11:14 AM

You need to stop putting yourself in tempting situations..

We are sexual beings and humans can't help but be attracted to others even when we are happy in our relationship.. you can't help that.. but you can help the fact that your acting on it..

Stop talking with this man, stop putting yourself in situations where you're alone with him.. Your main focus should be on repairing what you have done to your marriage.. communicate to your husband what happened and hopefully you both can move forward

talaniman · Oct 14, 2008, 11:21 AM

You can plainly see this is starting to get unhealthy, so reinforce the boundaries, and don't cross the line by not putting yourself in that situation.

Its not the attraction you feel that's bad, its what you do about it.

Its like knowing there is a cliff in front of you, and you take that extra step that puts you in danger, instead of simply backing away from the edge.

liz28 · Oct 14, 2008, 11:36 AM

Stop being around this guy before it leads to something else and you create a bigger situation.

You will always come across people that your attracted to or they might find you attractive. But it stops there. Acting on it only shows that you can't control yourself and if anything is great in your marriage why risk your marriage over someone you was attracted to?

Since you know how this guy feels about you, you should not be alone with him as Plonak stated.

Also come clean because would you like it if your husband kiss someone else? Even if you don't tell him, he still might find out and that can be worst.

JBeaucaire · Oct 14, 2008, 11:41 AM

Your marriage vows included some pretty solemn promises. You need to remind yourself of them.

Your character is what you do. There is no "I can't help myself" unless you're a sex addict. You're not. You're a normal girl experiencing normal attraction to a man, but you are behaving as if your actions aren't in your control or don't matter.

They are 100% in your control and they do matter.

You don't need to tell your husband. If you can't behave yourself around this man, you need to axe the man from your life, 100%, cold turkey. The kiss is all the motivation you need.

There is no shortcut to fidelity. You fulfill your promises to your husband. You PROMISED... him and only him... no matter what. You don't even have a reason for behaving this way, you have a good husband.

Put your free time into "timeout" and stay away from this man. Period. Don't think about it, don't rationalize it, do it. Period.