My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost two years. Then we got into a huge argument and broke up 3 months ago. I did all the wrong things, begging him back, telling him I'll change, and it only pushed him further away. So I just stopped talking to him and days later, he called me confessing that he missed me. We became friends and talked everyday but he told me he had a girlfriend. I pretended it didn't matter to me even though it hurt. But he broke up with her 3 weeks later because they argued too much and he still loved me. I had my hopes up thinking he would come right back to me, but he didn't. He told me he still wanted us to be together but he just needed some time to himself. I took it as if he didn't want to be with me at all and I begged him back, etc... Now I'm scared he doesn't want me at all. To make things worse, his brother died last week and the funeral was Friday. He expected me to be there but I couldn't do it. I've been ignoring his phone calls and texts and now he doesn't call or text at all anymore. It's only been 5 days, I know he's grieving and that he's probably angry that I wasn't there when he needed me the most, but I just didn't want to go for the wrong reasons. On top of that, the girl he broke up with still talks to him because she still has feelings for him and he admitted to me that he still liked her but loved me too, which is another reason why I ignored him... Is it too late for me? It hurts so bad I don't know what to do.:confused:

Wow.. o.k
Well 1st I want to say there is no room for regret I didn't come on this site to lecture anyone in what I think they may have done wrong. I know you care for him deeply I think your best bet is to send a card about how sorry you are about his brother and for not being there, and you just didn't want to make things harder for him. Say if you ever need a friend I am here and then leave it alone. If you want something really bad…you will do anything to have it, so if he wants you as much as you want him, he will come back to you. See what happen the 1st time you stop begging him, he was able to realize he really did miss you! Let him feel that again…
Good luck
Missmax

Yeah... I told myself the same thing. To apologize. But all of my friends kept telling me to not say anything at all to him and just let it go until he calms down and calls me, and that if he never does then move on for good. And I know he loves me because before this all happened, even as friends, he was flirty with me and always called. And every time he didn't call he would send me a text apologizin for not calling and so on. I really don't want him to give up on me. I know I did a lot of stupid crap towards to end of our relationship, but I was under a lot of stress from other things in my life and took it out on him. Now I'm not in that situation anymore and I want to show him I'm worth giving a second chance... but I think he's afraid that I'm going to be the same as before... its so frustrating :/

I really think a long break from each other is overdue, and you could use the time to put your life in better perspective right now.

For whatever reason, your holding on to something you should have let go of a long time ago. It will hurt, but leave him alone, and you both take the time, and space, you need.

Now is not the time to rebuild, but to heal.

I think TALANIMAN is right... don't hold on and if he does love you, like you love him then he will come back that is when you can show him everything you want to. Until then, I still think you should apologize for not being at his brother's wake.

The thing is... how do I apologize? I mean, I've completely stayed away from him since Thursday. And he may not even want to deal with me at this point... which is the best way to say sorry to him?

Enough with the apologies, that's holding on, and now isn't the time. When the emotional dust settles..........maybe. Its time for some positive healing action, disappearing from his life, and getting your own together, without him in it, is what I highly recommend.

You can't live your life when you trying to live someone else's. You two have grown apart, its time to say goodbye.

I think you need to back waaaaaaaaaaaay off and give him space. He has gone through a lot emotionally, and doesn't need you or the other girl in his head when he is trying to get over the loss of his brother. You sound selfish wondering if he will go back to you after his brother just died? He will need TIME to clear his head and get back to his normal self again. So will he come back to you? Possibly, but you can't hold your breath. I think it was smart of you not to go to the funeral if you knew in your head you would be going more so to see him and not support the family etc. So if I were you, I would probably send him a card and send your condolences to him and his family. Don't say anything about how or why you didn't make it to the funeral just be a friend right now and support him and his family. Don't try to get anything more out of it right now.

Once his head is back in the right place, maybe you too will rekindle. But you have to give him a lot of space. Send the card - regular mail, and leave it at that. Let him know you are here for him if he wants to talk. Let him take it from there. Bam!

p.s you don't need to apologize, at least not right now. Just let him know you are sorry about his brother and you are there for him as a friend. He doesn't need to take on worrying about you and him in a time like this.

2 days ago I sent him an apology in a text message just saying I'm sorry I didn't make the funeral and everything and I ended the message saying "goodbye" because I really didn't expect him to say anything back. But he responded hours later and said "goodNITE". But he hasn't responded since. And I know I do sound selfish and I really do want to give him space by not talking to him but I mean its so hard when you're so used to talking to that person every single day for 2 years and now there's absolutely nothing. I can't stop crying as much as I want to. I really just want to get stronger from this.

p.s. thank you so much brkfstatiffs for your advice. I don't want to think it's the end because I know he will come around eventually. But the more I think about the issue the more I worry and start thinking it won't ever work out again. So I'm just going to keep my distance for a while and not call him until he's ready to call me. :)