Hi,

Today, my 5-year-old daughter came and asked me to check out what her friend, the 7-year-old neighbor was doing. So, I followed her into our computer room. I found her looking at porn! The seven-year-old girl jumped out of her skin and started to sort of shake or tremble with fear. My daughter said that the neighbor girl typed in bigboobsex (she said it like one big word, looking for pictures of kittens. I looked at the search history and she had typed in big boob sex

I told the neighbor that she needed to go home immediately and she did. I then started to question my daughter... asking if anything inappropriate had happened. My five yeaold really had no understanding of what all the fuss was about.

What do I do? Do I tell the parent and if I do, what do I say? Do I let my child continue to play with her? I really feel she must have been shown that typing bigboobsex would get to porn, or she has witnessed someone else do this.

I am really freaked out and don't know how to handle this.
Please help.

Thank you in advance!
Mindy

I would discuss this with the parent asap

I would tell the parent, not because the child did anything wrong she was just curious and obviosuly learned it somewhere, but because if that child tells her mom what she saw at your house, you can get into legal trouble.

Your child had the sense to tell you something was wrong so I would watch how I reacted towards her, if she was comfortable enough to tell you this and you freaked her out, she may not be quite so comfortable next time because telling mommy = mommy upset. I would tell her praisingly "you were a very good girl for telling mommy what you saw" that way she associates telling inappropriate behaviour with a positive result. I would absolutely tell the other child's mother immediately because (and I mean no offense, this is just legally speaking) the lack of supervision allowed the child the opportunity to search it and those images to a child can legally be considered contributing to the delinquency of a minor. It's a vague definition that says "knowingly or unknowingly allowed ....."

You should tell the parents. I know it is uncomfortable. And you can let them know that this makes you uncomfortable.
Just tell them you need to talk. Then tell them there was an incident at your home. That your daughter came and got you to show you what their daughter had typed in on the computer. That you were shocked, etc. And as uncomfortable as you are, you thought that you should let them know.

How well do you know your neighbors? Are they good people, etc? If you let the children play together - just express that there is no computer time and supervise them stictly - don't let them be alone together.
Let your daughter know that what she saw was inappropriate, thank her for telling you and let her know that she should continue to do so in the future.

Hello Mommy:

Bingo!!

Then I'd fix your computer so nobody can access that stuff. These children did NOTHING wrong.

excon

Thank you all, I have now left a note on the door letting the mother know that I have been trying to reach her. She has not answered the door when I've gone over, which is very common. Her daughter is only there every other weekend, when her dd isn't there she is a bit reclusive.

I know that they did NOTHING wrong and never thought that they did. I am more concerned that this little girl has been over exposed to sexual things, things that my 5-year-old hasn't. I would be concerned if I were her mother.

I, also, should mention that the web page did NOT show actual nudity but did show "sexy" women, mainly their faces. There was lots of lip licking, too much make-up, hands covering nipples but no shirts on and blurred out images. Luckily the first web site from the Google search was a web-site that reviews other porn sites, you pay and they let you know what site is better. The images were very small but still very raunchy and unsuitable for these young girls. I think that we were very lucky, that they didn't find something much worst. My husband has already put on "cybersitter" a porn blocker, which I highly recommend. I won't be letting her friends on our computer anymore; she doesn't search for things.

I wanted to end their friendship not because of this incident solely. She is rude to me, talks back and is bossy. She has disobeyed me on more than one occasion, but I have always felt bad for her. I'm trying to decide if when I speak to her mother I should also let her know that I that I think she is a little too mature for my dd to play with. It isn't that I want to punish her, but I don't want my dd to have the bad influence.

I will definitely let her mother know because I would want to know if my dd did something like this. My dd thinks that boobs are for breast-feeding. She has two younger siblings. If she were to be typing in something like this, I would want to know where she had been exposed to Internet porn or the idea that there might be something like this. She thinks that the computer is for work and games and doesn't know that there is info other than that. Thank you for bringing it to my attention that this could be construed as delinquency of a minor, something that would not have ever crossed my mind. I hope that her mother will understand that I was ignorant to the fact that kids knew that they could find images like this.

I am not trying to be defensive. I just don't think I gave enough detail because I was in such an urgent state. I do really appreciate all the concerns that were mentioned and the advice. I do really appreciate all the advice.

I just wanted to give you a heads up - my daughter doesn't search for things either, but have found things that I would not consider appropriate. You really have to monitor what they are doing. My daughter got on a Barbie website, where you can play dress up with the dolls. She really liked it and was on there all the time. Well, as she clicked away - she came across things that, while still "cartoon", were not kid friendly. She would dress dolls that had no clothes on (most would have underwear to start) and they were physically correct. Some where giving the finger, etc.
So, just because it isn't "porn" doesn't mean that it is still appropriate.

I was floored when she showed me these things. I thought she was on Barbie for crying out loud! :(

Again, just a heads up. I wish someone would have told me.

OMG, wow, that would be a bit of a shocker. Thanks. I appreciate your concern. The internet is so new to my daughter, I mean she has been playing the computer for years, but just this year we started to let her get onto pbs.com. So, far she is happy with that along with games that are on the PC (w/o internet). I have learned a huge lesson, I'm very lucky that no one was hurt (emotionally or psychologically). There is no chance that I won't be supervising her computer use and no other kids will be on it, period.

Thanks again.