Is it true that if are disabled and no longer work and are married and both you and your spouse have 401 k plans, you must withdrawl them because social security says you may not have over 3,000 in bank in total?
Is this true?

Your 401K is not in a bank, its considered retirement savings and I don't believe is counted. Where are you getting this info?

With Social Security there is SSD (social security disability) and SSI (social security insurance.). SSD does not take into account income or assets to qualify only the disability, if you are able to work at any kind of work what so ever you are not disabled.

SSI does take into account assets and income, it is usually a suppliment insurance income program that pays until you receive SSD, which must be paid back with the retroactive check usually. If you are appling for SSI, yes you must use your assets before you will qualify for assistance. The SSI program provides monthly income to people who are age 65 or older, or are blind or disabled, and have limited income and financial resources. Effective January 2008 the SSI payment for an eligible individual is $637 per month and $956 per month for an eligible couple. If you are married, and only one person is eligible, a portion of your spouse's income may be counted. In addition, your financial resources (savings and assets you own) cannot exceed $2,000 ($3,000 if married). You can be eligible for SSI even if you have never worked in employment covered under Social Security.


Social security Retirement program:

Wages for Social Security purposes are gross wages - wages before any payroll deductions for income tax, Social Security tax, dues, insurance, or other deductions by the employer. We use gross wages as the basis for Social Security credit and for determining whether benefits must be withheld because of earnings.

Nonwork sources of income, such as:

Inheritance payments,
Pensions,
Income from investments,
IRA distributions,
Interest,
401(k) distrubutions, or
Other sources;
Do not count as wages for the earnings test. The Social Security retirement program insures against loss of earnings from work and not against the failure to have investment income.
Ergo your 401K would not count against you for retirement.

They have a website at socialsecurity.gov
Hope this helps,
Frankie

Here is some basic info on SSD and SSI
Federal Programs Traumatic Brain Injury - Brain Spinal Cord Org
Public Assistance Spinal Cord Injury - Brain Spinal Cord Org