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    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 12, 2008, 06:31 AM
    How to win your ex back?
    Is it worth it to try to win your ex boyfriend even you caught him with someoneelese and when you ask him who is she and he said she's his wife? I was confused he said to me he wants to have babay with me but he lied to me about her
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    Aug 12, 2008, 06:34 AM
    No it's not worth the effort, especially if he is married. You should never have to win back someone, they should want to be with you because they care enough to be with you not because you fought for him. It sounds like he fed you lines and you bought them, not uncommon but my advice to you would be to go No Contact with him, remove any way of getting in touch with him and remove yourself from his life. Read the stickies at the top of the forum and get on the road to recovery!
    HeadsHigh's Avatar
    HeadsHigh Posts: 75, Reputation: 10
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    #3

    Aug 12, 2008, 06:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melisha
    Is it worth it to try to win your ex boyfriend even you caught him with someoneelese and when you ask him who is she and he said she's his wife?
    Erm.. your kidding right?
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 12, 2008, 06:47 AM
    But I'm confuse romefalls 19. We always have on and off relationship maybe because of distance.. then the last severe one was 6 months ago when I asked him what is my assurance of his love and he said he loves me but won't marry me then after 6 months his friend talked to him that made him contacted me then last month we started talking and we were laughing everyday over the phone and he wants me to visit him and make some baby making but I came a week ahead.. he knew I was coming but he kept saying he's not ready for this and he'll cut me off at first I don't understand him because I thought we were getting better then I caught him. He cat look into my eyes when I confronted him
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #5

    Aug 12, 2008, 07:54 AM
    You need to move on and leave him alone. I can't believe you what to have a baby with him, I hope you don't think that will make him stay? Then not only would you be left alone but alone with child. He's married and do you think you're the only one he lied to? Let him stay being the liar he is and you need some more self esteem and confidence and realize how wrong this is and how much better off you are without him.
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Aug 12, 2008, 07:59 AM
    [QUOTE=liz28]You need to move on and leave him alone. I can't believe you what to have a baby with him, I hope you don't think that will make him stay? Then not only would you be left alone but alone with child. He's married and do you think you're the only one he lied to? Let him stay being the liar he is and you need some more self esteem and confidence and realize how wrong this is and how much better off you are without him.[/QUO
    Well I am not sure he is married lawfully because he doesn't believe in marriage. But thank you your advice is an eye opener
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by HeadsHigh
    erm.. your kidding right?
    But I am confuse if he is really maried. As a man's point of view. When I went to his place and as I confronted him and her especially when he left her open for me a chance to attack her but didn't buy it, my voice was calm and low... I didn't do any violent actions towards her and him. I just look directly to his eyes and his eyes where sad same as her and he can't even look directly to me... he's eyes were too busy setting his car, I turned and walk away and he flew his car so fast that when I turned back I can't see them anymore... you know just slit of a second
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melisha
    but i am confuse if he is really maried. as a man's point of view. when i went to his place and as i confronted him and her especially when he left her open for me a chance to attack her but didnt buy it, , my voice was calm and low...i didnt do any violent actions towards her and him. I just look directly to his eyes and his eyes where sad same as her and he can't even look directly to me...he's eyes were too busy setting his car, i turned and walk away and he flew his car so fast that when i turned back i can't see them anymore...you know just slit of a second
    What do you think of me? Did I act right?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #9

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:10 AM
    I think you're grasping at straws here. Him being "really" married is neither here nor there. He has, for whatever reason, chosen to be with the other women, the best thing to do is nothing but move on. It will be hard but you will realize you are doing the right thing
    hidden123's Avatar
    hidden123 Posts: 153, Reputation: 51
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    #10

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:10 AM
    Melisha - you really need to get yourself out of that situation. He is married - not to you - that should be enough right there and than. Move on - no matter how hard - it's easier than when he dumps you with the baby.
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melisha
    Is it worth it to try to win your ex boyfriend even you caught him with someoneelese and when you ask him who is she and he said she's his wife? I was confused he said to me he wants to have babay with me but he lied to me about her
    Thank you romefalls but as a man what do you think of me when he wanted me to come next week when he has off and make baby and you think he can have 2 women at the same time then I came earlier and caught him. He even parked his car one block away from his building main entrance and garage and they both came out from the other building's entrance. He lives in south building and they came out from north building. The angel maybe made me walk around to see them
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #12

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:13 AM
    No I think he simply had you as the other women and his wife was going to be away that week you were supposed to be there and then you showed up early and blew his spot up(as my little brother would say) he parked his car so far away to try and hide any instance of him n her from you
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melisha
    Is it worth it to try to win your ex boyfriend even you caught him with someoneelese and when you ask him who is she and he said she's his wife? I was confused he said to me he wants to have babay with me but he lied to me about her
    Rome I did saw them she looks that she's sad but controlling her emotions. I confronted him with calm and low tone voice. I didn't attack his wife and his eyes were busy setting his car . Did I make it right? I mean did I handled the scene right/ He always says that I can kill a person if I'm angry and that made him scared of me because he escape death so many times. I want to know a man's point of you. Did I completely uplift my dignity there? Tell me the truth I like the way you answering me
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #14

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:34 AM
    You did handle the situation correct. You could have very easily flew off the handle and reemed him out, but would only have resulted in you looking like a basketcase.
    melisha's Avatar
    melisha Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melisha
    Is it worth it to try to win your ex boyfriend even you caught him with someoneelese and when you ask him who is she and he said she's his wife? I was confused he said to me he wants to have babay with me but he lied to me about her
    This site really cool!! Nobody symphatize me but its nice you know why because I believe that if someone sympathesize a person although its wrong you are just making her life more in the dark... thank you
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #16

    Aug 12, 2008, 08:50 AM
    No problem... On this site, the advice may be harsh and not what you want to hear but it is always what you need to hear. We do our best as we have all been in your shoes with break ups
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #17

    Aug 12, 2008, 11:35 AM
    You handled it well, and kicking him to the curb, and rebuilding a life you enjoy would be icing on the cake.

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