Hello I'm new to this site. I'm writing a theme essay on a pretty interesting topic. I write very well. However, I am having trouble getting started with my thesis statement.

The theme of my essay is Fate vs. Free will: the question that I would like to turn into a thesis statement is: What are the benefits of Technology in Medicine?

I'm thinking of starting off my thesis statement something like this... Technology has a great impact on free will vs. fate. Then go from there, but I’m a little stuck for the reason that I do not want to go into religion. I want to talk about the fact that with the development of technology gives people the chance to have the baby of their choice. For instance (through a series of tests) A couple finds out that the baby the mother is carrying will one day develop downs syndrome and is informed that they can correct that defect.. By using technology to correct those genes vs., leaving up to fate and letting the child develop without the help of technology.

I feel that my thesis statement is a little weak and can be stronger. If there is anyone that can help me with developing a stronger thesis statement, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance for those that will offer their assistance.

Clough

How about this for your thesis statement? "With continued advances in the technology of medicine, people will face more and more difficulties as to what decisions to make based upon what they want versus what they believe."

What do you think? At least it was an attempt...

I'm not sure what you mean by "but I’m a little stuck for the reason that I do not want to go into religion."

Hopefully, others will come along with suggestions also.

CJstudent

Thank You Clough that's pretty good and I appreciate your response.

What I meant by stating that "I was a little stuck on my creating a thesis statement for this essay ,for the reason that I did not want to go into religion."

To me that is a knee jerk reaction everyone wants to automatically discuss religion, which can become a little tense. I was strictly trying to make a strong statement and support it with supporting details. As I continue to develop my paper I was going to touch on religion a little bit for those that disagree with the new advances of technology, based on their religion. However I didn't want religion to be the focus of my essay.

Clough

You're welcome! And, would you please let me know how this essay turns out for you? Thanks!

CJstudent

Hello Clough,
I just wanted to let you know how my essay, turned out.. I got and (A). My instructor really enjoyed it as well as my conclusion. I actually used this as my thesis...
Thanks to the advancement of medical technology, fate is losing control of more and more deaths and free will gains control of more extended lives. In other words, the time we die could likely someday be ours to choose in the majority of cases. Technology has always been a significant part of life since the 19th century etc.... then it goes into my essay.

So thanks, guess I just had a bit of writer's block and needed to dicuss my thesis with someone else. Thank again,

Clough

Hey! Thanks for getting back to me and no problem with discussing things here, anytime! Congratulations on getting an "A!" I also really like how you embellished/elaborated on your original thesis statement!