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    Username Here Posts: 72, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Mar 31, 2008, 04:13 AM
    Opinion on a poem I wrote for my Gf.
    Just to clear things up, i got carried away while writing the title, i would love to hear male opinions too!

    Hello,

    I would like some female opinions on a poem I wrote for my Girlfriend. I think this is the 3rd poem I've ever written without being made to at school so I would like some honest opinions and tough critics.

    Thanks in advance - Here is the poem:

    Eternal Love
    For Stephanie.

    Staring at the Skies,
    I can see your eyes,
    That Sparkle,
    Is remarkable,

    You are my light,
    So bright,
    Your essence, your being,
    An unbelievable feeling,

    Our hearts beat in time,
    When your body is close to mine,
    I have found perfection,
    In your affection,

    Your soft kiss,
    Is my bliss,
    My emotion,
    Is devotion,

    It is true,
    That I long for you,
    I'm a captive, by choice,
    By your sweet, sweet voice,

    This Passion,
    Is not fashion,
    Your soft skin,
    To touch feels like sin,

    I'm your puppet,
    For we are a couplet,
    Let us be together,
    One forever,

    Two white dove,
    Eternal Love.


    I Love you Stephanie.
    All my Love,
    Louis.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Mar 31, 2008, 04:31 AM
    Concerning art such as this, would you mind if you had the opinions of some of the men here that are really into this sort of thing? I mean, some of us men have been around a long time and might have much insight into such things.

    Just thought that I would ask...
    Username Here's Avatar
    Username Here Posts: 72, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Mar 31, 2008, 04:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough
    Concerning art such as this, would you mind if you had the opinions of some of the men here that are really into this sort of thing? I mean, some of us men have been around a long time and might have much insight into such things.

    Just thought that I would ask...
    I changed the title, I would love to hear male opinions too! :D

    Edit: Although I changed the title, it doesn't seem to have changed the one in the forum, only the one at the top of this thread..
    Sarah48375's Avatar
    Sarah48375 Posts: 85, Reputation: 13
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Mar 31, 2008, 07:37 AM
    If my boyfriend gave this poem to me, I would be thrilled. You can tell that you put thought into it. Is it a little cheesy in some spots? Absolutely. But everyone needs a little cheese now and again. To be honest, that's what makes it special.
    Username Here's Avatar
    Username Here Posts: 72, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Apr 2, 2008, 12:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah48375
    If my boyfriend gave this poem to me, I would be thrilled. You can tell that you put thought into it. Is it a little cheesy in some spots? Absolutly. But everyone needs a little cheese now and again. To be honest, that's what makes it special.
    Thanks. :D lol.
    Mom of 2's Avatar
    Mom of 2 Posts: 449, Reputation: 90
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    #6

    Apr 2, 2008, 12:28 AM
    I wish there were more guys like you out there!! What a tribute to your girlfriend. I would love it if my boyfriend would do this for me. Heck, I would be thrilled if he just bought me a card with a poem in it, even if it was written by someone else!!
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