What do you think of my poem? Please, I need help on whether its good enough to send into a competion.


I got flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasnt my birthday, or any other special day.
Last night, we had our first fight.
He yelled at me, and said some cruel things,
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasnt our annaversary, or any other special day.
Last night, he hit me.
But I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasnt mothers day, or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me again.
It was much worse than anytime before.
He shoved me into a wall, and choked me.
I cant leave him.
What about the kids?
What about money?
I got flowers today.
Today WAS a special day.
Today was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally beat me to death.
If only I had had the strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.
-paige.


Im only fifteen. Please dont be harsh. I watched this happen with my mother. She was my inspiration.

paigerwaiger94

you guys please. If youve read my poem, please tell me what you think. I need some help here

leavethdoorajar

Thats a chilling poem...maybe you could make them into stanzas each starting with "i got flowers today"
other than that there are just a few spelling errors, but i definitly think you should enter the competition. even if you don't win its still a learning expirience so that the next one can be even more mind-blowing than this

paigerwaiger94

thank you for the suggestions

ZoeMarie

I had a poem that I wrote about my mom after she died. It was a bit chilling too. It ended up being published. As stated earlier, polish it up a bit. I think writing helps after you go through things like that. Good luck

paigerwaiger94

thank you very much.

Sir Guengerich

In summary...it has great meaning. I would suggest it be posted on women shelters to give them the will to leave their beaters. Like you, I write from experience and have only one goal. When you write from the heart you can never be wrong. I have wrote many
poems and suddenly lost my inspiration. Some have said I was gifted because I could write a great poetry in minutes. It's not the time it takes...but the quality of one's work. My goal was to always make the reader identify with what I wrote on a personal level. Make them feel the passion in your writings.

paigerwaiger94

I now have an updated version. Please look at it.

s_cianci

I'm very sorry for what happened to your mother. You've found a very creative outlet with which to express yourself and that's a good thing. Perhaps lots of women will learn from your poem ; lord knows lots of them need to! Good luck with your competition.

Altenweg

I love it! It sent chills down my spine.

I don't know alot about poetry, but I know what I like and I like this alot.

Bravo.