Originally Posted by Bonnie46
I am not angery. I am angry. Angry with this post. It is low-self esteem women and girls (such as this one) that enable some men to cheat on their spouses. If no female girl or woman EVER offered up herself to a married man, then NO man would ever be able to cheat, would he?
a man who is a pig cannot be changed - cheating men will always cheat. But, a smart woman or smart girl can CHANGE her actions and refrain from such poor-taste behaviour. she can choose the high-road of dignity and self-respect.
I am disappointed that this mybossnme's mother or father did not instill her with proper values or morals. It is a shame, and just makes her look like the fool.
Nestorian, if you are open to loose values/morals of infidelity than I too am sad for you.
Hmmm, correct you are, I did misspell "angry", Though I think my misspelling just opend my eyes to a hilarious joke. My apologies for this little note, but, I said, "Why are you so an-GER-y? Haha, that is kinda funny and ironic. haha. Once again my appologies if that little unintentional joke offended you.
Perhaps she does have low self-esteem? But what of your self-esteem?? Please, avoid over generallizing some one as if the only quality they have is low self-esteem. There apears to be more to her than that. I can see that there is a potential for great wisedom with in her, even more than that of I, for she is asking the right questions, " My question is do you think he likes me too and is too afraid to say? And if so do you think I should make anthr move and tell him , I won't tell anybody at the job if doesn't. Should I tell him we can have a discreet relationship!! Please help with your answers." - OP She apears to be confused, her feelings are driving her toward one thing, her mind seems undecided what it wants, and her spirit seems free and adventurous. But once again, I do not know enough about her to assume anything with out feeling like a fool. (To assume is to make an A$$ of U and ME.
, I learned how to spell that word because of that joke.) The last part she is asking for help, and guidence. It seems unwise to tell some one asking for help that they are less than. That only solidifies the idea in their minds that they are and should act as you have said. I"m not entirely sure why that happens, but I've seen it a lot, especially when people are genuinely confused and seeking advice.
"...enable some men to cheat on their spouses."-Bonnie46;1673373. Interesting indeed. It would apear you hold men incapable of self control, and women responsible for sexual enconters? (KEY WORD, "apear".) Very facinating choice of words as well; "Enable... men... cheat... their spouses." What about women who cheat on their husbands? This is becoming quite common happening these days, I volunteer at a court house and it's just as likely that you see a father with his kids because his wife cheated on him and is acting erratically. There are still more women than man being cheated on, but now it seems its become a revolving door to witch both sexes are taking advantage of. I feel bad for the poor confused kids.
Men do rape women, and female girls. The man must choose for himself what he will do. If he isn't man enough to keep it in his pants, then I guess he isn't a man at all... Or is he? He maybe a human being the best human he knows how to be?
"a man who is a pig cannot be changed - cheating men will always cheat."- Bonnie46;1673373
“[Luke:] I can’t believe it. [Yoda:] That is why you fail.”-Master Yoda
Now I know jedi's are not real, in the known solarsystem, but as I find myself opening up to life, I find that one phrase helps to guid my mind, and thus my actions. "Wisedom maybe found every where, we need only listen."-Me There maybe wisedom in what Yoda says, fictional or not, it's possible that it's meaning is worth more than movie made.
"We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our worlds. All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence."-Buddha
We as human beings are all conditioned since the day we are born. Psychology has proven this time and time again. Now, there is a way to reverse this conditioned response we were born with. Than is we can become aware of the condition, then break it down into manageble pieces, find a way to alter your thinking and thus behaviour, and then be consistent and persistent. As Yoda would say, "Do or do not, there is no try."
Perhaps that is ture, a smart girl would refrain from conducting such "poor" behaviour, then again... With out the wisedom to use smarts/intelegance they can use their smarts to preform what you may consider even more ill-advised behaviours.
Yes, she can choose the high road of dignity and self respect. So could we all, but very very few ever do. She is as much a human being as that of any of us.
"proper values or morals"-Bonnie46;1673373. Hmmm, define these standards you speak of, I'm curious to know what you believe is "proper".
"Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?" ~Maurice Freehill
I can see great wisedom in this phrase, especailly when put in context with your belief that she looks a fool. She may look a fool, but she does not apear to "be" a fool.
"Nestorian, if you are open to loose values/morals of infidelity than I too am sad for you."-Bonnie46;1673373
I appreciate your concern, but feel no sadness for me.
"Love is my ally, life is my goal,
Respect is my accomplishment."-Me
If one is not open to the possibilities, then one may not question the possibilites, and if one can not question, then one can not understand the possibilites. Even if it seems like the "absolute truth", beware that life maybe pliable, altering the truth. I simply flow with life when ever possible, less I forget to, but I try to bb ever mindful of the shifts in energy/life and I try to work with it, even if it's against my beliefs. Our beliefs seem to be nothing more than conditioned ideals. They may change with each moment we live.
May peace and kindness be with you. Have you something you have not yet forgiven yourself for? I know I have...