Whenever I go to another department at work, there are 4 women that hang out together. Whenever I say hi - thier heads swing the other way like they were Linda Blair. I think it is because one of them works in my department and quit because of a benefit dispute. Whenever I am with anyone else, the ladies make sure to ignore me and are overly nice to the other person. I have stopped saying hi. Please advise.

albear

ignore them, dont say hi anymore if they cant show courtesy to you why should you show it to them,

Altenweg

I'm a bit more direct than that. I would go up to them and ask them what their problem is. Remind them that you are no longer in high school and that you are all adults. They don't have to like you but they should stop acting so juvenile. If that doesn't work then I'd be rude right back. I know that's not the most healthy advice, but I usually fight fire with fire.

peggyhill

I would ignore them if it were me. If you feel comfortable confronting them, then do so. Either way, don't let it get you down. If they want to be immature like that, let them. I'm sure if they are doing it to you, they have done it to others at some point. Their bad behaviour probably has not gone unnoticed.

I was in this situation a while back. It made me so mad at the time, but you know what? Within 2 years both the women had been fired because they were being rude to others besides me. So, I guess what I'm saying is, what goes around comes around.

If you have to talk to them about business, be real nice and if they aren't mature enough to respond, then just ignore it. Too bad for them because I'm sure you're a nice person.

JBeaucaire

If you are determined to have it stop, you'll need to plan a few of your encounters with them to make a dent in their behavior. Also, you'll probably need to NOT deal with the group as a whole, even if they are standing/working together, you'll need to isolate/target an individual to start this process.

For instance, let's decide today that girl A will be forced to talk to you today. Bake or buy some nice chocolate chip cookies. Go up to her desk, face her directly, pick up a cookie and offer her the other one by putting the plate completely into her "space" and smiling like a schoolgirl. Whether she takes it or not is irrelevant.

When she responds, mention two items to her that you've planned...1 personal and one work-related. "Don't forget to sign up for that great seminar next week...oh, and I love that blouse! Do you mind telling me where you bought it?"

Now move on. Later that day, offer her another cookie or simply say "hi", this time from a little further away. If she doesn't respond, STOP where you are, turn towards her and walk to her repeating your pleasant greeting. When she finally responds, wave and move on.

The point is, don't put up with rude behavior, put it back in their lap and make them change it. Talking from far away increases the likelihood that bad behavior will occur, so don't do that until they stop this.

Next, do the same/similar thing(s) with other women in the group, and DON'T be scared to have one of these encounters where you work on one woman just because another is nearby. Let them witness it. Even better, as soon as you get the "nice" you want from the first, you're in a perfect position to turn and get the same from the nearby person.

Being forceful isn't the same as being rude. There is a natural tendency for people feeling like they HAVE to fill an awkward void, so you create it. Ask a question directly to their face (not a yes/no question) and then smile and remain immobile and silent until they respond.

That should work pretty much every time. They may not like you at first, but they'll have to behave, and that's a great starting point.

talaniman

At work, ignore ignorance, and don't be drawn into someone elses stupidity.