A co-worker I don't like asked me out.how does one deal with the ensuing awkwardness

awesomo1111 · #1 Jul 20, 2009, 03:57 PM

Hello people, I am dealing with an awkward situation in the workplace and I thought I'd come here for help.

For the past four summers, I have worked for a firm that manufactures electronics. I like it there a lot. Well, about two weeks ago we hired a new guy, I'll call him Jake. I don't work directly with him, since we are in different departments, but I can see him from across the building.

I didn't actually talk to Jake until about 3 days ago, and when we did, it was only for about two minutes. He wasn't a bad guy, but was extremely crude and obnoxious. Didn't make too much of an impression on me. Plus, I find him quite physically unattractive.

Well, imagine my surprise when, yesterday, I got a random e-mail from him. Our conversation went something like this:

Jake: Hey, what's up?
Me: Not a lot, how do you like work?
Jake: It's cool. There are a lot of cute girls to look at, like you.
Me: Umm, ok.
Jake: You are really cute. You wanna do something sometime? Do you have messenger or a cellphone?
Me: No I don't, and thanks for the offer, but I'm good.
Jake: Oh, you don't wanna hang out?
Me: No thanks.

Oh, coming in to work today, it was so awkward. What am I gonna do? I like my job and don't want to quit. Should I just ignore the whole situation and pretend it never happened or address it at some point? Also, what do you make of the "hang out" remark? Do you think he was just looking for a friend, or trying sneakily to get me on a date? Blah, I don't know what to do.

N0help4u · Jul 20, 2009, 04:16 PM

Ignore him and if he continues tell him that you aren't interested in any type of relationship/friendship at the present time.
He may just want a friend and nothing more, he may hope it would turn into more.

Ignore him. I have seen guys pursue a girl and then when they knew it wasn't going anywhere they simply moved on to the next girl they thought might be interested.

Don't feel awkward just stand your ground in a polite way.

seahwk83 · Jul 20, 2009, 07:19 PM

To be honest, I think a "Thank you I am not interested" should do it. Hopefully he would respect your answer and move on. If he were to pursue anything after that then that would be something else to address.

Polite and to the point with a smile.

Gemini54 · Jul 23, 2009, 05:07 PM

Ignore him and get on with your work. If you see him, smile and say hi, but don't stop to talk. Don't take your lunch break when he's around. Don't show any interest in being his friend, but be polite.

dontknownuthin · Aug 4, 2009, 08:04 PM

You answered him appropriately and drew the line without being nasty or rude, and there's nothing to feel awkward about.

JBeaucaire · Aug 4, 2009, 10:28 PM

Awkwardness in the ensuing days is perfectly natural. It means you're a caring person, so don't look too hard for ways to make the "not happen".

But at the same time, don't give those feelings of awkwardness more attention than it deserves, either. Just bear it until it goes away, which it will.

JudyKayTee · Aug 6, 2009, 07:18 AM

I simply say, "I'm sorry, but I don't mix business and pleasure."

And then I don't discuss the possibility of dating any further. No argument, no discussion - I just don't date people I know from work.

And when I see the people who have asked me out I'm pleasant and don't entertain any discussion about dating.



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