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i'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for helping me get off. it's never happened, and i'm starting to get a little worried. it's not so much that i'm really concerned about it, it's more that i'm concerned about my boyfriend. i'm worried that he's going to start taking it personally and get really frustrated. if anyone has any suggestions, please help. i'm running out of creative ideas . . .
When you have sex, is it just straight vaginal sex, or does he take some time beforehand to get you "ready"? Like foreplay, I mean... kissing you, touching you, etc. That's usually quite important to a woman. If the sex is really quick and there isn't much foreplay a lot of women can't achieve orgasm. And some women never have an orgasm with intercourse, only with masturbation, cunnilingus, or if they masturbate while they're having sex. You might be one of those women.
the funniest part of all my difficulties is that i definitely enjoy penetration the most, so masturbation doesn't do too much. he does a great job getting me all primed, as the bed sheets can testify, but i just don't know what to do to get there the rest of the way.
So have you never experienced an orgasm in your life, or just never experienced an orgasm while having vaginal sex? There's a big difference, and I'm not clear which is the case with you... could you please clarify that?
If you're just having trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse, you should try different positions as Stormy suggested. Personally I find that a sitting up position or woman on top positions are best for that, because I can control the situation better. Doggy style can also be good as it creates different sensations. You might also touch yourself (your clitoris) while he's having sex with you, or have him touch you. Maybe in your foreplay, if he's really good at it as you say, he's satisfying you so much that you don't need to have anymore orgasms. In that case he could just "tease" you to the point where you're going to have an orgasm, but then start having vaginal sex before getting you off. It could also be that he is too quick, and there's not enough time for you to build up to an orgasm.
If you've never had an orgasm of any kind in your life, then perhaps you should consult a physician. There might be something physically wrong, or, alternately, you may want to see a sex therapist.
In any case, good luck to you, it must be frustrating!
well... as mentioned, there are things you can do to mix it up.
theres one position that is just money for me but wont work for my wife unless she self stim during sex, and even then it only sometimes works, usually more likely with several sensations/stimulations going on at the same time. and it took a long time for us to find a way for this postion to work for her. oddly enough, its the one that most often gets us simultaneous or near simultaneous orgasms. oh well. you just have to keep trying.
on top can give you more control. do you always try to climax after him or do you try right away? are you more stim in one postion than in others? g spot versus c1itoral? breast stim? neck? lots of things to do... even the order can be mixed. do you "direct" him some when things feel good, as in tell him that you like a sensation or want something that he's not doing. most guys are eager, albeit sometimes clueless (myself sooo included) that a little direction can be helpful. usually if something seems to work once well do it again and again thinking thats the magic pattern, and its just not like that most of the time... but it is some of the time. =P
one girl hated breast stim early but it put her over later. one loved strong c1itoral stim while missionary, the next hated that. one never, ever got off orally but could w hand stim. another really needed oral first to give intercourse even a chance for a finish. so theres lots of things to try, but you might need to think about what gets you going first.
i guess i didn't mention that i've NEVER EVER EVER had an orgasm, hence my frustration. i appreciate the advice so much, and although i thought i was giving some clear direction, i suppose i can always give more. if there's anything else that anyone can suggest, i'm definitely all ears
If he can hold you,standing up is absolutely my favorite position, wrap your legs around his waist and go to town. this provides deep vaginal penetration along with clitoral stimulation.
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